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Greensboro101

Tuesday February 9, 2010

00:15
PotholePalooza »Viewfinder BLUES
Pothole WatchOur nation's leaders may be up to their rhetoric in freshly fallen snow - but here in the Piedmont, we're moving on. You know what that means: Pothole Watch. Seems those jagged gaps in the blacktop are of towering import these days, what with the Superbowl over. Actually the smotherage of said pavement patches are as much as winter tradition as riots in the bread aisle. I don't know how you news crew roll in Buffalo, but here in the contiguous Southeast, we top off a good snowstorm with two or three days of intense hand-wringing... Will the Earth open up and swallow our city whole? Could your kids school bus get sucked into a crevasse? How DO you get drive-thru coffee out of real Corinthian Leather? Yes, it's a veritable telethon, but reporting on Pavement Quake 2010 is about as earth-shattering as covering a hole in the ground.

Not that your average news crew craves excitement. We get plenty of that. It's just pointing lenses at a future mud puddle carries with it a certain indignity. Don't believe me? Bum-rush an asphalt patch crew and tell them you need to shoot video of them working. They'll let you, but it's awfully hard to feel good about your career path when the guy with the bucket of highway sludge thinks your job is stupid. Still, ours is not to judge, so Emmy Award winning Chad Tucker and I tried to give it our finest effort - it being Monday and all. First we hunted down the City Worker in Charge of Filling Potholes and Fending Off News Crew. I'm not sure if that's what his business card say, but a guy I know only as Dwight spent much of the morning answering our questions, wrangling work crews and rolling his eyes. Not always in that order. Then again, when you have a half dozen journalists phoning you with breathless queries about crumbles in the infrastructure, a little sarcasm is all but required.

Potholes!Undue confession: Chad and I bagged on our assignment too. It's hard not to when your utilizing thousands of dollars in electronic equipment to get to the bottom of a four inch ditch. And while I'd like to apologize to the minivan mom who found my roadside presence so distracting (Eyes on the road, lady!) and to that pedestrian who asked me what was going on (Foghat is NOT reuniting), I for one harbor no remorse towards the gang-bangers who nearly stopped my heart with their ill-timed horn blast and indecipherable knuckle language (Hey, I don't roll up in your workspace and spotlight the bodybags... Oh wait -- I do!) Hmmm, where was I? Oh yeah, complaining about Pothole Watch. Wouldn't my talents be better served examining the human condition or at least chasing a dog in a funny hat? I mean, c'mon producers, who really gives a rip about some hole in the road anyway?

What's that? Folks are flocking to our website to report their own potholes? Newsrooms phones are ringing? In-boxes are flooding? Servers are crashing? Rating diaries are being rewritten?

Forget I mentioned it...

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00:00
Chuckie’s Song O The Day…Wish for »Ride The Lifetrain w/Chuckie

Monday February 8, 2010

22:43
HS hoops tonight for 2/8/2010: NWG takes two from HPC, Page and Smith split, EG with two over RC, NEG tops Ledford and Bishop boys win by 22 »Greensboro Sports
Girls FINALS: Page 45 Smith 41 Northwest Guilford 57 High Point Central 49(OT) EG over Rockingham County Boys FINALS: Smith 67 Page 61 Northwest Guilford 77 High Point Central 70 Eastern Guilford 63 Rockingham County 37 Northeast Guilford 69 Ledford 54 Tonight:Feb 8, 2010 Northeast Guilford won versus Ledford 69 – 54…Bryce Benjamin paced the Rams with 19 points….. Thursday Feb 4, 2010 Northeast [...]

[Full article]
21:15
Matt Lojko on the City Website's Jaundiced Portrayal of the GPD Fiasco »Guarino
I received an e-mail from Matt Lojko. He provides a summary of the city of Greensboro's website links in connection with the GPD fiasco. He points out that the website contains ample information that points a finger at David Wray...

[Full article]
21:15
Skip and the City Manager »Guarino
Inside Scoop: Meanwhile, the stacks of e-mails also revealed what money or power gets you in city government: easy access to top officials. Based on the e-mails, it’s clear both Melvin “Skip” Alston and Bridget Chisholm — proponents of the...

[Full article]
20:23
Business as usual Bev »A Priori Concepts
Via NCGOP: Today, hundreds of North Carolina Republicans are filing paperwork to run for public office. This day represents the first step on the path to a majority in 2010. It represents the beginning of the end of corrupt government in Raleigh, including the Governor’s so-called attempts at transparency and reform. Governor Bev Perdue called herself the [...]

[Full article]
20:16
Guilford County election filings update, part 2 »YES! WEEKLY PUBLIC FORUM
Guilford County Sheriff
Phil Wadsworth (D)

Guilford County Commission District 9
Carolyn Q. Coleman (D)

Guilford County School Board, District 6
Jeff Lee Belton




[Full article]
20:16
Sometimes the free market isn't such a wonderful thing »Applied Rationality
While Republicans and Tea Partiers vilify health insurance reform, the bad practices of insurers continue. It's important to remember that this is the status quo that they are fighting for tooth and nail.
President Obama's secretary of health and human services fired off a sharply worded letter to a California insurer Monday, demanding to know why it is raising rates for individual policyholders by as much as 39 percent.

The unusual salvo offers a reminder that, even as health-care legislation lies in limbo in Washington, the battle over surging health care costs continues in other venues.

Anthem Blue Cross of California sent out notices earlier this month to many of its roughly 800,000 holders of individual policies, informing them that the costs of their plans would sharply increase to cover rising health-care costs. The increases do not affect employer-provided plans in the state.
Hands off our healthcare so that insurance companies can jack up our premiums by a third doesn't seem like such great rallying cry.

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20:12
How Much Is Litter Costing You? »RecycleBlog
Or, Lazy Pigs?

RecycleBill surveys his little corner lot in Greensboro, North Carolina almost every day and rare are the days I don't pick up other people's trash from my yard. At my business we currently spend $1,000.oo a month hauling away other people's trash. And that's after we fill the giant green trash can that is collected by the city owned garbage truck each and every week. That's a thousand dollars I could be putting towards hiring another worker or buying a new piece of recycling equipment that would allow our little company to buy and recycle things we can't currently recycle. And if we were to buy a machine we'd most likely have to hire and train someone to run it.

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18:49
2010 US Census »The DDLP Neighborhood Watch Blog
Monday, February 8, 2010, 12:12pm EST
Census road tour plans Greensboro stop
The Business Journal of the Greater Triad Area

The 2010 Census Portrait of American Road Tour is planning a stop in Greensboro on Tuesday.

The event is planned for 2:30 to 5 p.m. Tuesday on the upper level of the J. Douglas Galyon Depot, 236 E. Washington St. It is free and open to the public.

Attendees will have the chance to learn about the Census process and find ways to become involved. The event will feature interactive kiosks and promotional giveaways.

City officials say a complete count for Greensboro in the census will ensure appropriate levels of political representation and access to federal funding. More information about Census 2010 and Greensboro is available online at www.greensboro-nc.gov/census.
Link to:
Greensboro census information


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18:18
Did Greensboro just lose about $500,000 of revenue from rescinded subdivision annexations? »TRIAD WATCH
Judge overturns McLeansville annexationsThree McLeansville subdivisions are no longer a part of the city…Four McLeansville residents sued Greensboro last year to stop the planned July 1 annexation. Late last week Judge Edwin Wilson sided with residents, who argued the city could not hold them to agreements made with the subdivisions developers.Wilson’s means that the three subdivision — including




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18:15
Unplugged »EdCone.com
One thing I like about spending time outside with my dog each day is that the dog and the trees and the water and the sky are not made of pixels, and a lot of the information processing that goes...

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18:07
LEDs Light The Way To Energy Savings »RecycleBlog
Or, Making Big Bucks In LED?

While the government continues to tout toxic mercury filled Compact Fluorescent (CF) light bulbs to save energy and replace the soon to be outlawed Incandescent Bulbs most of us are still using, a few companies are leading the way with Light Emitting Diodes (LEDs) that save even more energy than CF bulbs and will probably never have to be replaced. Even the Environmental Protection Agency is unable to tell us how to protect ourselves from mercury poisoning cause by broken CF bulbs and unlike Fluorescent bulbs, LEDs will even work in extreme cold as they require no heat to make light. That why this post is #81 on our list of Green Start-up Ideas.

While widely in use as Christmas tree lights and for other outdoor lighting needs, your "local" big box retailer doesn't carry 120 Volt LED bulbs and if asked will probably tell you there is no such bulb in existence. A quick look at the brands of lighting products they carry will help you to understand the GEs and Sylvanias of the world have invested so heavily in CF bulbs they simply aren't willing to make the switch to LEDs.

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17:27
Birthplace of Roman Emperor Vespasian Found »Greensboro Public Library
Check out this story about the recent discovery of a large villa at what archaeologists believe was the location of Roman Emperor Vespasian’s birth. The site is located near a town called Cittareale, about 130 km northeast of Rome, in the Falacrinae Valley.  Marble floors, mosaics, and ceramics number among the many artifacts recovered from the estimated 3,000-4,000 square meter villa.   Vespasian, or [...]

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17:16
16:33
Penn Gilette complains about "Vegas" quip »The Daily Greensboring - Greensboring.com
By SouthernFriedInfidel
Staff Writer

Normally, I like reading Penn Gillette's comments. More often than not, he hit the nail on the head. On this occasion, , I think this is one of hot "not" instances.

At one point, he asks (rhetorically, I HOPE) how many people ask the President for travel advice. Next, he says that Obama's comment would be expected to cut down on tourism traffic. I think he's lost track of what he wants to say.

The bottom line should be that his personal bottom line should not be affected. I seriously doubt that Las Vegas will have any trouble keeping busy, any more than it already has been. And for sure, no one will drop out from the line to get Penn and Teller tickets.

But the comment that he objects to, about the difference between going to Vegas or sending their kids to college, was a metaphor that all Americans can relate to. The President could have as readily said "Jersey City." Everyone knows that both places are the prime gambling spots in the country; Obama wasn't joking, and he wasn't telling people not to go to Vegas. Gillette needs to thicken up that skin of his in the area of his home-town's reputation.




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16:18
Are their votes in Greensboro's municipal election annulled too? »Roch101
A judge has annulled Greensboro's annexation of some McLeansville neighborhoods. What about the votes cast from those neighborhoods in last year's municipal elections? Are those annulled too?

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16:18
Candidates file for election »YES! WEEKLY PUBLIC FORUM
Filing for this year's primary opened at noon today at the Guilford County Board of Elections. Nine candidates have made it official so far:

NC Senate District 28
Katie G. Dorsett (D, i)

NC House District 57
Jon Hardister (R)

NC House District 58
Alma Adams (D, i)

NC House District 62
John Blust (R, i) (5630 Christian Place, Greensboro)
Jeffery Simon (L)

Guilford County Clerk of Superior Court
David L. Churchill (D, i)

Guilford County Sheriff
BJ Barnes (R, i)
Harlon Costner (D)

Guilford County Commission, District 3
Linda O. Shaw (R)

Guilford County School Board, at-large (nonpartisan)
Nancy R. Routh (D, i)




[Full article]
16:18
Guilford County election filings update »YES! WEEKLY PUBLIC FORUM
NC Senate District 27
Don Vaughan (D, i)

NC House District 61
Gerald T. Grubb (R)

Guilford County Commission, District 6
Kay Cashion (D, i)




[Full article]
16:15
Helping Haiti »EdCone.com
Gate City for Haiti will feature live music, djs, and a silent auction. $5 (or $3 with two cans of food) gets you in the door. 8PM Tues Feb 9, Studio B, 520 S. Elm St., GSO.

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16:03
>> Show ACORN the Money – Big Government »AND SO I GO YESTERDAY, TODAY AND TOMORROW
» Show ACORN the Money – Big Government Did ya’ll think Obama’s buddies at ACORN were out of our pockets?  well think again.  There are back bigger and better than ever.  With the tax payer money they are slated to get in Obama’s elephantine budget they can set up twice as many offices with staffs who [...]

[Full article]
15:45
Teague leaves the college league and heads to high school in Virginia(GW Danville) »Greensboro Sports
Jimmy Teague has resigned as Greensboro College football’s offensive coordinator. Teague will be the new head coach at George Washington High School in Danville, Va. “Jimmy Teague did a great job for us and deserves a great deal of credit for our success,” said Pride Head Coach Dr. Randy Hunt. “This really was great opportunity for [...]

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15:44
>> A Formula for Real Economic Growth: Cut Public Employee Pay by 20% – Big Government »AND SO I GO YESTERDAY, TODAY AND TOMORROW
» A Formula for Real Economic Growth: Cut Public Employee Pay by 20% – Big Government Yes!!  The truth is out:  The average government employee on all levels from local to state to and most certainly the federal level is an average of  $70,000 seventy thousand dollars a year while the average civilian (you and me) [...]

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15:25
>>GOP cool to Obama call for two-party health talks »AND SO I GO YESTERDAY, TODAY AND TOMORROW
GOP cool to Obama call for two-party health talks – Yahoo! News I called Obama’s remarks regarding seeing what the Republicans have to say ingenious since they have had bills in committees and being ignored by democrat committee chairmen since last summer.  if the president doesn’t know what the republican bills are all about it is [...]

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15:21
Gripe or Complaint Box for February 8, 2010 »Greensboro Sports
Got any new Gripes or Complaints????? This is the box for Monday February 8, 2010. We are taking those gripes and complaints and we have to remind you to keep it real on your subject matter. We will be cleaning out the box at the end of each day and we may have to do some cleaning [...]

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15:18
>>Rep. John Murtha of Pa. dies at 77 – Yahoo! News »AND SO I GO YESTERDAY, TODAY AND TOMORROW
Rep. John Murtha of Pa. dies at 77 – Yahoo! News They say one must not speak badly of the dead.  So  I won’t.  I will merely point out one tiny fact:  We the People have one less thief in Congress to steal us blind.  BB Filed under: Uncategorized

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15:15
On China vs. USA and Chess: If nothing doesn’t change, is not making a move moving? »Questions for Greensboro

All warfare is based on deception, …when able to attack we must seem unable, when using our forces we must seem inactive, when we are near, we must make the enemy believe we are far…, when far away, we must make him believe we are near.

Sun Tzu

China’s hawks demand cold war on the US

…almost 55% [...]



[Full article]
15:15
On Peak Oil: Could long term economic recovery be limited to available and/or affordable energy supplies? »Questions for Greensboro

Branson warns that oil crunch: Energy crisis threatens to be more serious than credit crunch

Sir Richard Branson and fellow leading businessmen will warn ministers this week that the world is running out of oil and faces an oil crunch within five years.

…Other British executives who will support the warning include Ian Marchant, chief executive of [...]



[Full article]
15:15
On State Budget Cuts and Can Kicking: Do accounting short cuts and more debt make smaller problems bigger? »Questions for Greensboro

Govs feel the weight of wielding budget ax

…Since taking office last year, Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer (R) has criticized accounting gimmicks and borrowing that, she has said, led to the Grand Canyon State’s current budget “crisis.”

But now Brewer is defending a compromise she struck with state legislators that relies on the same type of budget [...]



[Full article]
15:10
Top area HS guards: Looking at boys basketball »Greensboro Sports
What are your thoughts on these guards for the top area boys guards on the HS basketball scene and go ahead and vote for two and if you have a name that didn’t make our ballot, then add that name in for yourself when you vote for your Top-Two….. You may list two shooting guards or [...]

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14:38
North Carolina GOP Launches New Website »Tony Wilkins: busy being born
From Jordan Shaw, NCGOP: We’re pleased to announce the launching of the NCGOP’s new website, found at www.ncgop.org. We appreciate your patience as construction continued on the website over the past few months. We are confident that our new site will be a useful tool as we look to win a majority [...]

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14:19
Death Watch For Bathtub Boy »The Spag Report
It appears that the "Countdown" until Keith Olbermann's career as a political mouthpiece is over has started, and it may not take that long. In related news, a woman who looks like a gay man compares the Tea Party attendees to the KKK.

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14:19
How “Get Fit” has Impacted my Financial Life »Ryan Shell.com
This post is part of my ongoing “Get Fit” series, an effort to lose a little weight/tone up, and save money by reducing the number of meals I eat out. I officially started this series on November 20, and want to give you an update as to how it has impacted my financial life. First, let me [...]

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14:15
No Daddy »EdCone.com
Why does Danica Patrick do those heinous Go Daddy commercials? For the money, obviously. But can't she find a better sponsor, or steer the campaign in less-awful direction? I think the level of contempt for men was pretty high last...

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14:15
Poor people wrecked the economy »EdCone.com
I'm not entirely clear on how the CRA led to so many folks taking out jumbo mortgages they can't pay, but it must be true.

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14:15
That should do it »EdCone.com
North Carolina Toyota dealers among those pulling ads from ABC stations "as punishment for the reporting" on recall issues. The move against ABC affiliates in the Southeast came as Toyota launched a new media campaign aimed to "regain the trust"...

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14:06
Gate City For Haiti »the dotmatrix project
I know it’s a Tuesday night, but c’mon, you know you don’t hit the sack until 11pm or so. Even if you show up for an hour, you’ll be doing your part to help out our neighbors in Haiti. There’ll be great original, local music, high energy DJ’s, fantastic artists at work and a silent auction [...]

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13:14
Veterans and newcomers in politics »Off the Record

I dropped by the election office in the old courthouse just after noon and found Katie Dorsett and Linda Shaw sitting side by side waiting to file for re-election.

read more



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13:12
Fetzer Calls for Dismissal of Two High Ranking State Officials and for Perdue to Provide Easier Access to Public Records »A Priori Concepts
“It’s time that ‘Business as Usual Bev’ started backing up her rhetoric when it comes to ethics and transparency.” – Tom Fetzer NCGOP Chairman RALEIGH—NCGOP Chairman Tom Fetzer today called on Governor Bev Perdue to remove from their positions Alvin Keller, Secretary of the Department of Corrections, and Reuben Young, Secretary of the Department of Crime [...]

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12:20
On China vs. USA and Chess: If nothing doesn’t change, is not making a move moving? »Questions for America

All warfare is based on deception, …when able to attack we must seem unable, when using our forces we must seem inactive, when we are near, we must make the enemy believe we are far…, when far away, we must make him believe we are near.

Sun Tzu

China’s hawks demand cold war on the US

…almost 55% [...]



[Full article]
12:20
On Peak Oil: Could long term economic recovery be limited to available and/or affordable energy supplies? »Questions for America

Branson warns that oil crunch: Energy crisis threatens to be more serious than credit crunch

Sir Richard Branson and fellow leading businessmen will warn ministers this week that the world is running out of oil and faces an oil crunch within five years.

…Other British executives who will support the warning include Ian Marchant, chief executive of [...]



[Full article]
12:20
On State Budget Cuts and Can Kicking: Do accounting short cuts and more debt make smaller problems bigger? »Questions for America

Govs feel the weight of wielding budget ax

…Since taking office last year, Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer (R) has criticized accounting gimmicks and borrowing that, she has said, led to the Grand Canyon State’s current budget “crisis.”

But now Brewer is defending a compromise she struck with state legislators that relies on the same type of budget [...]



[Full article]
12:17
Favorite Superbowl Commercials? »NC Vine
For those that watched the game last night... did you have a favorite commercial? Here is mine: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0EVSP_6XZA

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12:15
Oh yeah, that »EdCone.com
Scott Lee Cohen won the Democratic primary for Lt Gov in Illinois, but last night he dropped out of the race: The pawn broker and owner of a cleaning supplies company won the nomination Tuesday. Since then, it has become...

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12:15
Pre-geriatric wasteland »EdCone.com
Apparently WGFA is now used as the theme song for one of the CSIs, but some of us remember it as the intro music for the Dean Smith show. UPDATE: Some of us may have faulty memories -- I've heard...

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12:10
Waterboarding - a modern pedagogy »The Daily Greensboring - Greensboring.com
By A Person
Staff Writer



Good to see him using his military training for civilian purposes.

Joshua Tabor admitted to police he had used the CIA torture technique because he was so angry.
As his daughter 'squirmed' to get away, Tabor said he submerged her face three or four times until the water was lapping around her forehead and jawline.
Tabor, 27, who had won custody of his daughter only four weeks earlier, admitted choosing the punishment because the girl was terrified of water.
...
Tabor, a soldier at the Lewis-McChord base in Tacoma, Washington, was arrested after being seen walking around his neighbourhood wearing a Kevlar military helmet and threatening to break windows.
Police discovered the alleged waterboarding when they went to his home in the Tacoma suburb of Yelm and spoke to his girlfriend.
She told them about the alleged torture and the terrified girl was found hiding in a closet, with bruising on her back and scratch marks on her neck and throat.
Asked how she got the bruises, the girl is said to have replied: 'Daddy did it.'

See, it's not torture, not according to O'Reily, Hannity and Beck




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12:09
Fool Us On The Debt »Blog Entries
Up in Washington, Congressman Bob Etheridge just voted to increase our debt by $1.9 trillion. Then just like a Washington politician, Congressman Etheridge promised he’s now going to balance the...


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12:08
Congrats to NC Wine TV! »NC Vine
Congrats to Jeff Cohen and Kipp Bodnar over at North Carolina Wine TV for reaching their 100th episode on January 22, 2010! If you haven't checked...

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12:02
Area teams make state wrestling tournament »Highschool Sports

Several high school wrestling teams from the area will begin competing Tuesday in the N.C. High School Athletic Association state championship tournament for teams.

Matches in Class 1-A are scheduled for Tuesday and Saturday. Matches in the other classes are scheduled for Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday.

read more



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11:51
Appalachian visists UNCG tonight at the Greensboro Coliseum »Greensboro Sports
Appalachian St. (13-10, 7-4) at UNCG (5-18, 4-8) 7pm on AM950 and 101.1FM WZTK…. For UNCG, Ben Stywall will be a marked man(see below) and for App a future-star, will be on hand this evening…. SpartanFest will begin at the Pavillion at 4:30 p.m. UNCG alumna Karla Davis will perform beginning at 5:45 p.m. A limited number of [...]

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11:32
Article: New Article »NC Vine
You can view the page at http://www.ncvine.com/content/125

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11:28
HS hoops tonight »Greensboro Sports
We know of High Point Central at Northwest Guilford set for this evening with the Winter Court still due up at NWG and do any of you know of other games that are set for tonight on a regular schedule or in a make-up mode????? Looks like we can add Smith at Page to the list [...]

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11:14
The Quakers went down to Georgia and beat Piedmont(Wooden with aluminum is at it again) »Greensboro Sports
DEMOREST, Ga. – Adam Hart threw six strong innings and Kyle Wooden had three hits to lead Guilford College to a 5-2 season-opening baseball win at Piedmont College Sunday. Hart yielded one run in six innings before turning the ball over to Will Simpson, who threw two scoreless innings. Michael Blocher picked up a save with [...]

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11:09
Western Guilford baskeball this week with games on Tuesday, Wed., Friday and Sat….. »Greensboro Sports
from JC, the AD at WG….Mr. Jim Clontz, Athletic Director at Western Guilford HS: This week in WG Hornet basketball…. Men’s Varsity(Dudley, SEG, NWG and Southern Alamance) Place Time Tuesday 02/09/10 *Dudley Home 8:00PM Wednesday 02/10/10 *Southeast Guilford Away 8:00PM Friday 02/12/10 Northwest Senior High School Away 8:00PM Saturday 02/13/10 *Southern Alamance Home 6:00PM Men’s Junior Varsity Place Time Tuesday 02/09/10 *Dudley Home 5:15PM Wednesday 02/10/10 [...]

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10:59
Update on homeless friend who … »Chosen Fast

Update on homeless friend who burned hand in campfire, 2nd comment here: http://bit.ly/9MbnM0

Share/Bookmark

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10:56
ACC women’s hoops from Sunday and what’s zappning for Monday(North Carolina at Duke) »Greensboro Sports
Here’s a look at the ACC Women’s Basketball results from Sunday and a look ahead to what is going on/happening this evening….. Sunday, Feb 7 Florida State 83, Wake Forest 38 Tallahassee, Fla. Miami 85, SIUE 60 Coral Gables, Fla. NC State 70, Virginia Tech 57 Raleigh, N.C. Monday, Feb 8 Virginia @ Maryland 7:00 PM College Park, Md. TV: RSN Georgia Tech @ Clemson 7:00 PM Clemson, S.C. North Carolina [...]

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10:45
Results on the Outback Steakhouse Super Bowl Contest »Greensboro Sports
The FINAL was 31-17 with the Saints over the Colts and Bryan(Total Points at 48) is our winner of the Dinner/dinners at the Outback Steakhouse and our Outback is at 2015 Four Season Blvd., near the Four Seasons Town Centre and: After checking the list and checking it twice/thrice, Bryan gets the Outback food and he’ll [...]

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10:36
Pawlenty at IEI »Capital Beat

Gov. Tim Pawlenty of Minnesota spoke to the Institute for Emerging Issues here in Raleigh today. The theme of this year's forum (the 25th annual) is “creativity,” specifically how creativity could be used to spark economic development.

read more



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10:23
Buddy Poppy Fun at NC Mid-Winter Convention »VFW NC Post 2087
Find more photos like this on My VFW WebCOM

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10:18
Nearly 4,000 Facebook Fans in Less than 7 Days »Ryan Shell.com
It’s been one week since I launched a social media initiative for my employer, and I think the results have been good thus far. Specifically, I’m very pleased with the rate in which we have increased the fan base on the Facebook page. In less than one week almost 4,000 people have become a fan – [...]

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10:18
Ninety miles an hour —big deal »Piedmont Publius
Transportation Secretary Gene Conti thinks it’s huge that $520 million in fed stimulus money will help trains running from Raleigh to Charlotte speed up to 90 mph. Personally, I’m having trouble figuring out why that’s a big deal, since my Ford Freestar minivan books 80 mph down Interstate 85. You can really make some time [...]

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10:18
Good question. »Roch101
Two people arrested yesterday for robbery in Greensboro were also arrested for robbery in Greensboro six months ago. Joe Guarino asks:
"Who is at fault for this situation?  It seems the public would be well served if the press were to investigate how their initial case failed to result in long-term imprisonment."
Good question. Good suggestion.

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10:18
Judge orders state to allow complaint against "RMA Report" authors? »Roch101
Ben Holder, busy this morning investigating another matter of local interest, tells me that former Greensboro Police Department Deputy Chief Randall Brady has won a ruling by a judge ordering a state licensing board to accept a complaint against Risk Management Associates.

You will recall that Risk Management Associates of Raleigh was the agency that produced the infamous "RMA Report," the report that hoodwinked a lot of as-yet unapologetic elected officials into thinking that the GPD command staff was discriminating against black cops. The once-"secret" report was discredited in large portions by subsequent facts, many documented by Jerry Bledsoe in the Rhino Times.

Brady had tried to file a complaint against RMA regarding their report with the North Carolina Private Protection Services Board, the licensing board for private investigators in the state. The board declined to act on Brady's complaint, saying he did not have standing because he was not a client of RMA's. The judge's ruling apparently reverses that decision.

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10:18
Keep Your Hand Upon The Throttle And Your Eyes Upon The Rail »Dr.J's HouseCalls
No "saint" and a sucker for under-dogs, Pops would've enjoyed last night's ball game. As I alluded in the previous post, today he would have been 75. I miss him terribly.

A lot of my battle for some semblance of justice has been for my parents. Mom & Dad did not deserve what got dished out in our lovely little small town (aided and abetted by some of their so-called "friends") any more than I did. And they did not raise me to run from a righteous fight - in life or online.

We played Johnny Cash's cover of "Life's Railway to Heaven" as folks left Dad's funeral service. I remember stepping out onto First Baptist's front steps alone (after giving his eulogy), feeling a cool breeze on my cheek, and turning to look up at the steeple . . . where I sensed Daddy had stopped to linger (another time/another story) before hopping the Paradise Express.

When we got back to my parents' home, all of the clocks in the house had stopped at the same time. I'd like to think that meant Pops approved of his send-off.

I had not seen this video of the recording session (with Earl Scruggs and the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band) on You Tube before last night. There's a riff towards the end with a fiddle/accordion/ukulele (at least that's what my ear picks up) that always brings a tear to my eye . . . as it reminds me of some very special times in New Orleans.

One day our circle will be unbroken.





Unless something earth-shattering happens, I'm taking a break for the rest of the day.

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10:18
The Edwards Sex Tape: A Theory On Obstruction Of Justice »Dr.J's HouseCalls
I'm no lawyer, I've just spent WAY too much time in North Carolina being skewered by dishonest/lying ones.

In this Edwardian sex tape business, is it just me or is Judge Abraham Penn Jones exceeding his authority by finding Andrew Young in contempt for refusing to immediately cough up the video (on the premise that the Court will then put it under "safe" lock & key) during the course of a civil lawsuit?

I'm sorry, but I just do not believe the tape will be safe from John Edwards or one of his trial-lawyer or judge cronies (and rest-assured, he still has friends) if it's "locked up" in a North Carolina courthouse.

I'm not that naive anymore.

And I really don't get it. All the judge really had to do was issue a restraining order against releasing the tape until the matter of ownership was resolved.

As Edwards zips in and out of the country . . . and visits Bunny Mellon . . . and is clearly financing Reille's effort (because we know she has no money of her own) to get the tape back (so it can be destroyed), where are the Feds?

For all of this seems to me to be Law & Order 101: (1) Reille threw the tape in the trash. (2) The Youngs are material witnesses in a Federal case (i.e. the misuse of funds funneled through the campaign to prop up the candidate's mistress), and (3) the tape is evidence of that crime. The Youngs, although I'm sure sorely tempted (putting myself in their shoes, I would be), have not sold or publicly distributed the tape.

So (despite what all the Edwardian groupied at the N&O would have you think) this couple caught up in John & Lizzy's web of denial and hubris have actually demonstrated that they do have some scruples.

It's already locked up/in a safe place right now . . . with one copy already in the Feds' hands. They've refused offers to sell.

And if I were Edwards, I would not push their buttons.

And/so, could Reille's lawsuit (which is really John's lawsuit) . . . not to mention Edwards visiting Bunny Mellon while an investigation is in play . . . be interpreted as OBSTRUCTION OF JUSTICE?

And why would a North Carolina Superior Court Judge play along with that???

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10:18
What Happened To Dr. Mary Johnson In Asheboro Wouldn't Be Relevant To A Story On The Front Page Of The New York Times, Would It? »Dr.J's HouseCalls
Before I take that short blogging break, this post from yesterday (on the case of the whistle-blowing Texas nurses being crucified by a bunch of good-ole-boys abusing their power) needs to be back up, and front and center.

After all, according to some of the journalistic geniuses in our local blogosphere, what happened to Dr. Mary Johnson in Asheboro couldn't possibly be relevant to a story on the front page of the New York Times (yes, that was sarcasm).

Pops would agree with the sentiment. And he wouldn't mind.

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10:15
Footnoted »EdCone.com
"Why does Rep. Foxx tell us we now need to hand over what little we have left of our hard-earned money to Wall Street?" A letter, complete with footnotes, from Watauga County Democratic Party chair Diane Tilson. Virginia Foxx Is...

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10:15
Government for sale »EdCone.com
[I]ndustry executives and lobbyists are warning Democrats that if Mr. Obama keeps attacking Wall Street "fat cats,' they may fight back by withholding their cash. If the Democrats let Wall Street buy its way out of reform, they deserve to...

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10:15
Local news »EdCone.com
A feature on UNC Greensboro prof Nadja Cech and her research on nature's medicines, in the Charlotte Observer.

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09:50
VFW Applauds VA, National Security Budget Requests »VFW NC Post 2087
WASHINGTON - The national commander of the Veterans of Foreign Wars of the U.S. is applauding President Obama for submitting a fiscal year 2011 budget that strengthens defense and national security, and boosts programs for veterans, servicemembers and their families. Thomas J. Tradewell Sr., a combat-wounded Vietnam veteran from Sussex, Wis., said the president's vision tracks with key VFW legislative goals that advocate for a strong and secure America, and for ensuring that those who serve in uniform are properly cared for by a grateful nation. Find more videos like this on My VFW WebCOM The $60.3 billion discretionary funding request for the Department of Veterans Affairs is 7 percent above 2010 and 20 percent above 2009 funding levels. Key initiatives are to hire 4,000 additional adjudicators to shrink the disability claims backlog; to reduce the homeless veterans' population; to construct new medical facilities in Denver and New Orleans; and to maintain a robust information technology program that will enable a 21st century VA to fully automate its GI Bill benefits system and create a seamless electronic record for military members entering the VA system. Other notable recommendations would enhance women veterans' programs; increase specialized care for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Traumatic Brain Injury and other mental health conditions; and expand the national cemetery system into areas where 80,000 veterans reside within 75 miles of a potential VA cemetery. Also included for the first time was a request for $50.6 billion in advanced appropriations for the VA's fiscal 2012 budget. Read more

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09:44
Shotguns speak all languages »Piedmont Publius
Guarino notes that King Justice Allah Wray (we could go lots of places with that name) and Dominique Menser —- charged with robbery with a dangerous weapon on Saturday —– are products of Greensboro’s “revolving door justice.” Interesting that the N&R’s online version is slightly different from the blurb in this morning’s print edition, which emphasizes [...]

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09:42
Chuckie’s Song O The Day… »Ride The Lifetrain w/Chuckie
How appropriate for us Washingtonians…Snowbound.  A good friend of mine and a frequent rider on the train text’d me this morning to ask if I felt like I was back home (Ohio).  I told her I was no-longer homesick! I was ok till I ran out of Milk for the only dish I know how to [...]

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09:35
Christopher's Wine & Cheese Valentine's Classes »NC Vine
VALENTINE'S CLASSES On a weekend traditionally appealing to the desires of the flesh, let’s start with the tongue… This weekend, we’re giving...

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09:27
>>We the People have to watch the D Republicans just as close as the Democrats. Politicians of all stripes stink! »AND SO I GO YESTERDAY, TODAY AND TOMORROW
Monday Open Thread: Internet Regulation Edition by Publius Today, in 1996, President Clinton signed into law the Communications Decency Act, an attempt by the then-GOP led Congress to regulate content on the Internet. Just over a year [...]

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09:15
New Bed! »PiedmontParent.com

Did you know they don't make drop-side cribs anymore? I found this out the hard way: part of the sliding piece on Benjamin's crib broke off Friday afternoon! I called Babies R' Us and was informed that not only do they no longer make drop-side cribs, they don't even have replacement pieces for them. Luckily, we had a camp cot we could unfold for Benjamin to sleep on. (Even more luckily, he actually slept on it!)

So, after mulling over our options, Bill and I decided to buy a twin bed for Andrew and move Benjamin into the toddler bed. We're calling the toddler bed a "big boy bed" and the twin a "bigger boy bed."

When picking out sheets for his bed, Andrew liked everything. He finally settled on some with a sports motif. I'm writing this on Sunday afternoon, in anticipation of how the boys will spend the first night in their new sleeping arrangements. Both beds have freshly laundered sheets on them, as well as the special blankets that help the boys ease into dreamland. I hope both of them will have sweet dreams, so I can, too.



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09:15
Super Bowl, Super Companies »PiedmontParent.com

It's Monday after the Super Bowl. Forget Snowmageddon, the talk today is all about Indianapolis kids going to school late, that amazing onsides kick, and of course, the commercials. One that stuck out for me was CareerBuilder.com's commercial with a bunch of people in their underwear for casual Friday. Maybe because it was on while my small children were up and still watching, and the half-naked bodies were slightly disturbing. But like all of their commericials, most of us can usually relate, we've all worked in places where we're just not happy. But sometimes, we're lucky enough to work in a place where we actually enjoy getting up every day and going to our office. If that's you, then nominate your company for this year's Family-Friendly 50 awards.

Each year, Carolina Parenting, Inc. recognizes 50 companies throughout the state of North Carolina that promote family-friendly values at their workplace, whether it's through flex-time options, great maternity leave benefits or just a comfortable work environment for parents. Visit our Family Friendly resource page for a list of last  year's winners, links to articles on some of the ways local companies are helping their employees create a better work/family balance and articles explaining some of the national trends. And don't forget, nominate your own company! We want to make sure the Piedmont is well represented in this year's competition.

 



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08:50
>>The Best of Obama’s many Jokes »AND SO I GO YESTERDAY, TODAY AND TOMORROW
Our current President has made a habit of making asinine statements but I sincerely think this one about the new wave of bipartisanship is  one of the most disingenuous yet when he is now willing to talk.  Is it possible the President of the United States, an ex-Senator and an ex profession of constitutional Law [...]

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08:46
Super Bowl: The morning after »Thinking Out Loud

Some quick thoughts on the Super Bowl:

Very good game that was contested deep into the fourth quarter. One of the gutsiest calls in Super Bowl history by New Orleans to open the second half with an onside kick.

read more



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08:37
Success Story: Looking out for Members »Trudifferences
At Truliant, we have an internal Success Story Inbox that allows staff to share some of the great things they are doing to help our member-owners. For instance, here’s a short story from our North Point Member Financial Center in Winston-Salem, NC. “I spoke with a member a few days ago that said she was going [...]

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08:15
Fooled again »EdCone.com
Our Super Bowl party was disappointed that the old guy who played Pete Townshend's part during the halftime show did not smash his guitar.

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07:53
Abortion versus Miscarriage : A Bad dream. »The Daily Greensboring - Greensboring.com

By Liv
Staff Writer


So Shannon wakes up this morning to tell me about a dream in which I'm pregnant. Apparently for months it doesn't move and then we discover it's a calcified piece of pizza. She woke up laughing so hard she started crying. She says she felt sorry for me, all the while apparently I had miscarried my lunch.

On the other side of the coin I had a dream I was sleeping on a plane bound for London, and I was making plans for what I'd do when I landed. I was so excited when I woke up to get through customs I made it half way down the hall before I tripped over the dog and realized I'm actually waking up in my house... not a plane.

...but what I really don't get is these people who have 12 miscarriages yet are starkly against abortion. I'm not anyone to tell anybody what to do with their body, but after 3 or 4 times shouldn't you give up and adopt? More importantly by their own definition, if abortions are killing itty bitty babies, isn't your miscarriage making your little children suffer their deaths over and over again? Isn't it the same thing? How can these fruity mothers who apparently just didn't win the evolutionary lotto of reproduction able to justify a decade long attempt at arguing with the obvious: they're not going to reproduce, just continue to abort/miscarriage. I mean, I get it. You want kids. You want them to be yours. But how do you stand and say abortion is killing babies, when you're doing the same thing over and over, and over, and over?




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07:51
Free Clinique products with purchase at Belk »BargainBlog

Get free Clinique beauty products when you spend at least $21.50 on Clinique items at Belk.

read more



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07:48
Dash already making $$$, or so they say »Piedmont Publius
The Winston-Salem Journal reports: The Winston-Salem Dash front office has sold enough ticket packages and received enough sponsorship commitments to pay three times the amount of debt the team owes to the city and its lenders in the first year of operation of the new downtown ballpark, the team president said last week. Geoff Lassiter, who took [...]

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07:18
Low-Speed Car Wrecks, Falls Put Pregnant Women at Risk »Greensboro Personal Injury Lawyer

Fender-benders can be deadly for a fetus, according to several studies discussed in an article by Sherry Boschert. Even minor trauma, including low-speed car accidents and falls, can lead to placental abruption. The condition causes the placental lining to separate from the uterus and can cause maternal and fetal death.

Crash testing using “pregnant” dummies and computer modeling shows that “a frontal impact first throws the uterus forward against the abdominal wall,” and then the torso flexes forward and crushes the uterus between the torso and the knees. “All this creates a high degree of negative pressure in the back of the uterus that can pull the placenta off the uterine wall,” according to Dr. William G. Barson in Boschert’s article.

Symptoms of placental abruption vary and may include vaginal bleeding, contractions, abdominal tenderness, and decreased fetal movement. Though vaginal bleeding is typical in most cases, 20% of abruptions are associated with a concealed bleeding because the blood collects behind the placenta and is undetectable without internal observation. In the absence of vaginal bleeding—especially after the patient has experienced some minor trauma—contractions and uterine tenderness are revealing signs of placental abruption.

Abdominal trauma is a major risk for placental abruption, and commonly occurs during even gentle motor vehicle accidents. Lower seat belts should always be worn across the pelvis, never over the abdomen. Pregnant women involved in auto crashes should seek prompt medical care even if they have no symptoms.

Early detection of placental abruption is essential because even a relatively stable patient may rapidly progress to a state of hypovolemic shock. Electronic fetal monitoring should be performed for four hours on any pregnant woman who suffers an impact to the torso. In a study by the Jichi Medical School, cardiotocogram and echogram performed immediately after minor maternal trouble can reveal placental abruption and prevent further complications in women who are asymptomatic.

Originally posted at InjuryBoard by Pierce Egerton

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06:19
Life »Questions for America

1.      Beginning with none of the oxygen that we breath, it is estimated that life on Earth has been around for about 3.9 billion years.  

 

Somewhere in the first billion years or so, some life forms started excreting oxygen, which [...]



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06:18
Life »Questions for Greensboro

1.      Beginning with none of the oxygen that we breath, it is estimated that life on Earth has been around for about 3.9 billion years.  

 

Somewhere in the first billion years or so, some life forms started excreting oxygen, which [...]



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05:54
Jimmy Teague Resigns Pride Post »Robert B. Lowe's Comment Activity


Jimmy Teague has resigned as Greensboro College football's offensive coordinator. Teague will be the new head coach at George Washington High School in Danville, Va.

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04:19
Ferrum Hosts Pride Men »Robert B. Lowe's Comment Activity


Ferrum, Va. -- The Greensboro College men's basketball team plays at Ferrum College tonight. Live stats are scheduled.

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04:02
Women Travel to Ferrum »Robert B. Lowe's Comment Activity


Ferrum, Va. -- The Greensboro College women's basketball team faces Ferrum tonight. Live stats are scheduled.

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03:00
A no-philandering rule might clean out Congress »Letters to the Editor

On Jan. 21, Ned van Buren wrote a Counterpoint, “What Washington needs is term limits.” Following that article, two young men responded positively and added their own suggestions. I want to also express my approval.

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03:00
Alston’s actions indicate he’s the one who’s racist »Letters to the Editor

If you ask me, Skip Alston is the real racist one! It absolutely disgusts me that he always tries to pull the “race card.” I applaud Mayor Knight and our City Council members for standing up for themselves.

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03:00
Better taxicabs needed to impress city’s visitors »Letters to the Editor

If Greensboro wants to improve its image and attract more tourists, I suggest having decent taxicabs available for transportation. The taxicabs available now are mostly dirty and often lacking in seat belts and air conditioning. At least one has a broken door that sags. Some are of ancient vintage.

It takes more than a new hotel to impress visitors.

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03:00
President’s plan promises help for the middle class »Letters to the Editor

The president’s new plan to help the middle class is long overdue. This will help the working middle class get a break and may be the light at the end of a long tunnel.

The most immediate effect of helping the middle class could be increased consumer spending, which could directly improve sales and job growth in the retail and manufacturing sectors.

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03:00
Shooting of teenager shows flaw in the system »Letters to the Editor

I was shocked to hear of the 17-year-old kid who was gunned down, by the people paid to protect us, in his own yard. I cannot believe the officer had no way to stop a kid other than to shoot him in the chest.

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03:00
Sit-ins happened when the timing was right »Letters to the Editor

Thank you for your anniversary coverage of the sit-ins. It mirrors your courageous job 50 years ago, giving banner headlines to the first sit-in and responding to the long struggle ahead with fair, inclusive coverage.

read more



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03:00
Sunday's High School Scoreboard »Highschool Sports

SUNDAY's results

SWIMMING

4-A CENTRAL REGIONAL

Girls

200 medley relay: 1. East Chapel Hill 1:53.15; 2. Reynolds 1:53.31; 3. Grimsley 1:55.26 (Natalie Harris, Rachel Gentry, Natalie Labonge, Sarah Walker.

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01:17
Brand Bowl 2010 »danielle hatfield

Just in case you missed it, tonight was #brandbowl AKA #sb44 . . . or as most of us here on planet earth like to call it "They paid how f*ing much for that ad?!!"

I was reading on @CBSnews that the high prices for ads have dipped - but c'mon people . . . 2.5 MILLION dollars for 30 seconds? . . . do you know all the amazing things you could do to help your community?! Hmm do you?

30 seconds will not create a brand advocate. It may get you some buzz around the virtual watercoolers - but if you think people are going to be loyal to your company with an ad like this - you need to up your meds. Seriously.

Now, for those of you who are wondering - the reason you didn't see any @pepsi commercials during the game tonight is because they decided to invest their money in social media to help support their refresh project. You can get the scoop from @daily_finance here.

Just in case there is any doubt on who I think the winner of the #brandbowl is - here is a great article from @mashable on @l99k : 'How Social Media Is Changing the Super Bowl'

#teampepsi

“Without a specific reason for the consumer to behave, without a reward or benefit, the overwhelmed consumer will refuse.
Seth Godin, Seth’s Blog

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00:02
"The Help," "The Politician," "Game Change" and James Cameron »Thinking Out Loud

Three books on my to-read list:


"The Help." "The Politician" and "Game Change."


Each, admittedly, more out of curiosity than the search for great literature.
 

I tried the much-chronicled "Game Change" two weeks ago and Books-A-Million was a book short: It had sold out and was awaiting a new shipment.

read more



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Sunday February 7, 2010

23:19
Letterman/Oprah/Leno Ad: Behind The Scenes »The Spag Report
We were banging heads together. How do we come close to topping the last one? Then Dave got this idea. My first call was to Oprah – she got it right away – and then I called [CBS Corp. Chairman] Les Moonves to make sure he was OK with Jay being on CBS. I have to give Les credit … he got it immediately. And then I called [Leno's executive producer] Debbie Vickers … who said, ‘Dave and Jay, in the same room?’ She laughed for a good minute and said Jay would want to call. I hung up, and...

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23:19
Media Ignores The Unraveling Global Warming Myth »The Spag Report
Why have Canadian media largely ignored this growing controversy? Perhaps the best answer is embarrassment. Having shilled for warmist hysteria for so long, having dismissed any questioning of man-made climate change orthodoxy as equivalent to Holocaust denial, they don’t know how to climb down, or cope with the tidal wave (pardon the pun) of controversy now hitting climate science all over the world. via www.torontosun.com Same thing in the United States.

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23:19
The Next President ? »The Spag Report
Indiana Governor Mitch Daniels may be the next President of the United States. He certainly has something that the current occupant of the White House doesn't have- proven results and a real plan.

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23:00
Kennedy, now John Murtha Dead »Blog Entries
  Semper Fi John, your fellow Marines are waiting for you,. You got some splainin to do.   He also called our troops "Cold Blooded Killers" 


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22:15
Revolving Door Justice In Greensboro »Guarino
What do the names King Justice Allah Wray and Dominique Menser mean to you? Back in August, they were charged with several crimes including "armed robbery, conspiracy to commit armed robbery and breaking and entering". Guess what? These same two...

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19:45
Green Stats And Green Starts »RecycleBlog
Or, Green Hat Tips?

RecycleBill wants to take a moment to thank those who refer readers to our website, the readers themselves and those communities who recycle the most according to our internal website tracking. Thanks for helping to make the world greener.

The most popular articles for the last 7 days were:
Top !0 Ways To Go Green Without Going Green
RecycleToons 17
Organic Mold Removal Services
Let's End The Burning Of Insulated Copper Wire
Make Your Blog Carbon Neutral! For Free!

Our most frequently used search term was "green start up ideas."

The community that most used our Local Recycler Search was

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19:17
Marching With The Saints »Dr.J's HouseCalls
It goes without saying that, in Super Bowl XLIV (at least in spirit), I will be marching with the Saints.

For Pops (who would have been 75 tomorrow): The Dukes of Dixieland



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19:15
Fogeydom »EdCone.com
"Blogging has become like mahjong or needlepoint or clipping coupons out of Walgreens circulars: something old folks do while waiting to croak." That's pretty much my game.

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18:29
Blue heaven »Piedmont Publius
Interesting NYT article on the gender gap at UNC-Chapel Hill: Thanks to simple laws of supply and demand, it is often the women who must assert themselves romantically or be left alone on Valentine’s Day, staring down a George Clooney movie over a half-empty pizza box. “I was talking to a friend at a bar, and this [...]

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17:18
How Special Interest Affect City Business »TRIAD WATCH
Mary Newsom from the Charlotte Observer and her blog called NAKED CITY has a post with a title "How Special Interest Affect City Business" CLICKHERE Nice to see other cities all over this great state with some of the same problems .




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17:17
17:15
Health Care Landmark Projected »Guarino
A projection reported this week suggests a landmark development with respect to health care policy and the environment for delivering health care services. The AP reported several days ago that, by the year 2012, federal and state government will pay...

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17:15
Miami Beach Junket for Hagan With Pharm Lobbyists »Guarino
We were all so proud when Greensboro's own Kay Hagan was elected to the United States Senate. We were told it portended a time when we would get active, responsive, visible, conscientious representation. Of course, Hagan voted in favor of...

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17:07
Snowmageddon »Off the Record

Partisan warfare in Washington gets out of hand.

They really should have canceled that basketball game at Maryland yesterday.

Except for a few shady spots, High Point's slow-but-sure solar-powered snow-removal system finally has cleared city streets. 



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16:51
One way to stop crime »The Editor's Log

Maybe there is some value to all the bad weather we've had in the past week.

read more



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16:08
Updated ACC men’s basketball standings with Duke over Terps by half-a-game, one game edge over Wake »Greensboro Sports
from www.theacc.com: Duke 7-2 .778 19-4 .826 Maryland 6-2 .750 16-6 .727 Wake Forest 6-3 .667 16-5 .762 Virginia Tech 5-3 .625 18-4 .818 Virginia 5-3 .625 14-7 .667 Florida State 5-4 .556 17-6 .739 Georgia Tech 5-4 .556 17-6 .739 Clemson 4-5 .444 16-7 .696 Boston College 3-6 .333 12-11 .522 North Carolina 2-6 .250 13-10 .565 Miami 2-7 .222 16-7 .696 NC State 2-7 .222 [...]

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15:19
Comment here on "Charles Davenport Jr.: Race irrelevant to hotel project" »Commenting on the News & Record
The News & Record has prohibited comments on:

"Charles Davenport Jr.: Race irrelevant to hotel project"
Sunday, February 7, 2010 By Charles Davenport

Add your comments on the story here.

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15:18
If TREBIC’s Marlene Sanford registered as a lobbyist in 1999-2000, why didn’t she register after? »TRIAD WATCH
"Lobbyist Information...Name: Marlene Sanford Address: 115 S. Westgate Dr.Greensboro, NC 27407Phone: (336) 855-1453Registered with these Principals...Filings Term Status Firm Principal 1999-2000 Active Triad Real Estate & Building Industry Coalition Triad Real Estate & Building Industry Coalitionhttp://www.secretary.state.nc.us/lobbyists/Lobbyist.aspx?PId=8060324"




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15:17
Gripe or Complaint Box for February 7, 2010 »Greensboro Sports
Got any new Gripes or Complaints????? This is the box for Sunday February 7, 2010. We are taking those gripes and complaints and we have to remind you to keep it real on your subject matter. We will be cleaning out the box at the end of each day and we may have to do some cleaning [...]

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15:12
One game for the ACC men today and several contests on the women’s side »Greensboro Sports
from www.theacc.com: Men’s Basketball North Carolina @ Maryland 2:00 PM College Park, Md. TV: FSN (XM 190) Women’s Basketball Wake Forest @ Florida State 2:00 PM Tallahassee, Fla. SIU Edwardsville @ Miami 2:00 PM Coral Gables, Fla. Virginia Tech @ NC State 4:00 PM Raleigh, N.C. TV: RSN

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15:05
Wertz Jr. says United Faith’s Ian Miller is the best player in Mecklenburg County »Greensboro Sports
Oak Ridge Military Academy; with Jay Canty, Christian McCain, Jacob Lawson, Joseph Uchebo, Asad Lamont, Michael Neal, Chris Richmond and Carlos Rankins among others, just defeated United Faith Christian Academy from Charlotte last night at ORMA and Langston Wertz Jr. from the Charlotte Observer, says United Faith’s Ian Miller is the best player coming out [...]

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14:37
Odds and ends for 2/7 »Blog on the Run: Reloaded
First things first: The Super Bowl: I grew up a Baltimore Colts fan and, in particular, a Johnny Unitas fan. The Saints weren’t even on my radar until the Panthers came into the league and the Saints became one of their divisional rivals. But Johnny U. died a long time ago, the Colts left Baltimore [...]

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14:03
>> Fracking the Academic Left (with my best wishes, BB) »AND SO I GO YESTERDAY, TODAY AND TOMORROW
American Thinker: Fracking the Academic Left You who have been readers of my blog for any length of time know well that I have little respected for the so called educated class or intelligentsia.  Altho I too have sat thru the required number of hours in a classroom to have obtained a few degrees myself.  I [...]

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13:19
On Unemployment: Why would some compare dissimilar calculations of economic statistics? »Questions for America

If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it, people will eventually come to believe it.

The lie can be maintained only for such time as the State can shield the people from the political, economic and/or military consequences.

Joseph Goebbels

Statistics mask real economic pain

The jobless rate improved this week. It’s now [...]



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13:18
On Unemployment: Why would some compare dissimilar calculations of economic statistics? »Questions for Greensboro

If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it, people will eventually come to believe it.

The lie can be maintained only for such time as the State can shield the people from the political, economic and/or military consequences.

Joseph Goebbels

Statistics mask real economic pain

The jobless rate improved this week. It’s now [...]



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13:18
Groundhog Day »Blogsboro Poetry Club
In Punxatawney, on a hill Out of his hole comes Phil He's going to let us knowI f we'll have 6 more weeks of snow. His nose quivers and his beady eyes gleam The sun is shining down its beam His evil little smirk gives it away He's going to see his shadow on this day. It's the one day we wish for rain And the clouds to take away our pain We want the spring and warmth and flowers But Phil is shining in his brightest hour. He loves to watch us squirm in despair As he sees his shadow and runs back in there Back into his hole deep in the ground Where he can laugh at us without making a sound. I'm going to make me some woodchuck stew And chuck some wood as the woodchucks do Build a big fire and roast that overgrown rat And then feed the leftovers to my cat. He'll rue the day he saw his shadow His days are numbered and the numbers are low That rotten rodent is going to be toast And you're all invited to my woodchuck roast.

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13:18
Superbowl Sunday »Blogsboro Poetry Club
Super Sunday has arrived The Colts and the Saints will go head to head, shoulder to shoulder, one will win and one will lose. Which team to choose? That is the question. Will it be Payton or Brees? Which one will lead their team all the way to a victory. Time will tell as the clock ticks and as kickoff time nears, both teams will have to dispel their fears. Get out there and play some football and listen to the referee's call. In the end, there will be a winner, but there will also be a loser, and then it's all over until next year. And as the year turns into another season, for this there is no rhyme or reason, but does anyone remember the losing team from the year before?

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13:15
A memory »EdCone.com
Super Bowl Sunday, 1970. The Vikings have purple helmets with horns on the side, and a quarterback named Joe Kapp, and the allegiance of my friend Darrell, so I like them instead of the Chiefs. At some point around this...

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11:17
Whistle-Blowing Texas Nurses Make The New York Times (Meanwhile In N.C., Dr. Mary's Story Stays Buried): You Don't Have To Ask What I Think, Dave. »Dr.J's HouseCalls
I felt sick last night (I'm getting over pneumonia - or maybe not), and went to bed early, and (mercifully) was not awakened by any phone calls.

I'm now late for Sunday morning rounds.

But I've gotten several e-mails this morning on this story in the New York Times. Dave Ribar sent me a link to a post on his blog.

It's old news in the medical blogosphere. I've already done two posts on the case . . . as well as commented both at Kevin's and Respectful Insolence.

The thread at Insolence felt rather like a "Coning" . . . because (being a former indentured servant in Hillary's village . . . and always on the crap end of Sleazely's notions of transparency & accountability . . . not to mention clearly living in the wrong America), I'm clearly not a fan of the Democratic Party's notions of reforming "healthcare". As I did blog-battle at "Insolence" (people rarely talk back to the great Orac), I was actually grateful for the "training" I got in the Greensboro Blogoshere.

I even was just a little bit grateful (not really) for a certain blogger-turned-cyber-stalker. My skin is pretty thick these days.

Retaliation against whistle-blowing doctors & nurses is a HUGE problem in this country (Texas, in particular, is not a good place to practice medicine if you're the least bit "disruptive") . . . be it by simply firing someone . . . or via bad-faith peer review . . . or going after them on some hacked-up criminal charge. For all of the noble blather about what doctors are supposed to do for patients . . . NO ONE GIVES A RAT'S TAIL ABOUT DOCTORS WHO GO THE EXTRA MILE (AND THEN FALL ON THEIR SWORDS) FOR PATIENTS.

Five years after I jumped into their pool, the really sad thing about "citizen journalism" and the Greensboro blogosphere is that, in this case, the journalists in it could have collectively taken the lead on what is clearly now going to be a big/on-going story.

In fact, if they had taken the lead, what is happening to these nurses right now might not be happening.

The Greensboro blogosphere had the chance to embody its rhetoric and actually BE relevant . . . to run with a good story right under their (mostly stuck-up/deep blue) noses.

It's really kind of pathetic and sad if you give it any thought at all.

But the problem has always been that, once-upon-a-long-time-ago, I rescued a doctor who was employed by an affiliate of the mighty Cone (Hospital). The ensuing cover-up was always about market share and economics . . . and protecting/preserving Randolph Hospital's "cooperative relationship" with the bigger/deeper pockets 30 minutes up the road.

John Robinson could not have anyone in his blogopshere dissing his biggest advertiser, and "Blogger-King" Edward Cone could not have anyone peeing in his pool.

And God knows, no one converging remotely near Greensboro can dare question Elizabeth Edwards. She's the real healthcare expert here.

Meanwhile, I'm a "wack-job" who doesn't know anything about anything.

Yeah, right.

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11:15
Echoing silence »EdCone.com
Your liberal media: "Only ratings-desperate CNN gave a fleeting platform to the old homophobic clichés." And a shout-out for the home team: "[T]here can be no doubt that Mike Mullen’s powerful act of conscience last week, just as we marked...

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11:03
Renick and the museum »Thinking Out Loud

This week's column.

The name Jim Renick is rarely seen or heard these days in Greensboro.

Even less so after the school's Board of Trustees abruptly erased the former N.C. A&T chancellor's name from the new education building then under construction in 2007.

read more



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10:25
A Tall Order »A Priori Concepts
So I got my first video camera about two weeks ago and have spent the last two Saturdays making a short piece. This one is a visit with Larry Johnson, owner of Tall Order Music, a new music store in Reidsville. The transition effects went haywire in my software and I am still very much learning [...]

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10:09
Star Trek: The Sexed Generation »gedblog
Totally immature, totally tasteless and absolutely hilarious! When I hit the play button I was sure this Trek parody would end up being too long, but by the time it was over, I didn't want it to end. Can't imagine the effort it took to find & edit all these clips. The bits with Geordi & Wesley are my favorite, the 4:13 and 6:30 marks almost made me fall out of my chair. Engage and enjoy!

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09:51
February Specials at NOMA's »NC Vine
We at NOMA are proud to be the restaurant of choice for so many special occasions and events. Contact us today to inquire about any upcoming events...

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09:27
Let's End The Burning Of Insulated Copper Wire »RecycleBlog
Or, Laws That Make Sense

RecycleBill understands that the burning of insulated copper wire is illegal for good cause. Burning the PVC and other plastics from the wire releases dioxin and other toxic chemicals into the air we all have to breath but that doesn't stop people from burning the insulation from their copper wire so that they can get a higher price when they sell to me. Or to remove the evidence that the wire was first stolen.

Now there are instances when the burning of copper wire came from a house, car or equipment fire but if all the burnt copper wire that I've bought in the last year came from accidental fires then I must be writing this from Chicago in October of 1871. I promise you I'm not.

In the recycling center or processing plant, machines are used to strip insulation from wire without burning it. In some instances this allows for recycling the copper and the plastics-- something fires never do.

Now I guess I could simply refuse to buy burnt copper wire altogether but that won't stop my competitors and the local scrap metal fences from continuing to trade in burnt copper wire. All I can hope to accomplish by refusing to buy burnt copper wire is to turn away business. Besides, what about the wire that comes from house fires and such-- should that not be recycled being that the damage to our environment is already done?

Local laws won't help either. If any city, county or even state government were to pass a law banning the buying of burnt copper wire then the illegal trade will simply cross the line to the next city, county or state where the burnt wire can be sold, making it even harder for local police to track the many thefts of copper wire in their jurisdictions. I'm told the EPA mandated fine for deliberately burning insulated copper wire is $10,000.oo first offense but do laws deter criminals? If laws actually deterred criminals then we'd have no need for prisons or police. The fact is: The EPA has no real means to enforce their rules over individuals. Companies yes-- individuals no,

So I'm proposing a new Federal law be passed that requires sellers of burnt copper wire to secure a one day only, single use permit from their local sheriff's department each and every time, before they sell the wire and that the permit be surrendered to the recycling center to be kept until the recycler sells the wire and passes a copy of the permit along to the processing plant. That way, the trade in burnt copper wire could be tracked, giving local law enforcement and the Environmental Protection Agency yet another tool with which to fight copper theft and make the air safe to breath. After all, most of the people who sell burnt copper wire aren't going to walk into any sheriff's department unless you first put them in handcuffs.

If you agree this is a good idea then please use the following links to locate and ask your Senators and Representatives in Congress to draft this into law. You can copy and paste the entire text of this post or simply copy the link to Let's End The Burning Of Insulated Copper Wire to your e-mail.

Yes, this will mean more work for myself and everyone else in the metals recycling industry but if I wanted to get rich I would have gone into the fossil fuel business-- I run a recycling business because I want to make the world green. And nothing makes me happier than watching our local police put handcuffs on metals thieves while they're standing on my truck scale.

And please forward this post to your friends requesting they take action.

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08:29
Sweetheart deals for Valentine's Day »BargainBlog

Learn about special Valentine's Day gifts, gourmet chocolates, roses, free brunch and more in today's Savvy Shopper column.

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07:56
Waking To Singing Flowers »BloggingPoet.com
Do you hear that noise? It's sounds like it's coming from the flower bed out front...

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07:20
Earth »Questions for America

1.      Earth revolves around and receives light and energy from the Sun, whose core is estimated to be 27,000,000° F.  The Sun’s interior could hold 1.3 million Earths.

 

The Sun appears to have been active for 4.6 billion years and may [...]



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07:19
Earth »Questions for Greensboro

1.      Earth revolves around and receives light and energy from the Sun, whose core is estimated to be 27,000,000° F.  The Sun’s interior could hold 1.3 million Earths.

 

The Sun appears to have been active for 4.6 billion years and may [...]



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03:00
Let’s find another path for solving problems »Letters to the Editor

We have already used up about 10 percent of the 21st century. Most observers will agree it is not a great start for Americans by a long shot! The first eight years ended disastrously. This was a humongous missed opportunity.

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03:00
Paid job-training project provides opportunities »Letters to the Editor

I am a social work intern from UNCG and have been working with the homeless population at Greensboro Urban Ministry and the Interactive Resource Center. Our biggest challenge, apart from transportation, has been finding employment for our clients. Without income, everything, from housing to health care, is an enormous challenge.

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03:00
Please help president get economy on track »Letters to the Editor

To the members of Congress, please help our president, Mr. Obama, get this economy back on track. This is America and we don’t quit!
Eleanor Wonce
High Point



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03:00
Supreme Court majority creates a judicial fraud »Letters to the Editor

Corporations are not the people, and nothing in the Constitution or any amendment thereto fairly lends itself to any such interpretation. It was only an act of judicial and intellectual fraud by which any contrary holding could emerge.

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02:25
Don Moore Compliments Greensboro Coliseum »Tony Wilkins: busy being born
This one deserves a blog headline all to itself. As a converted coliseum cheerleader I started softening him up last year when I first met him at a Grasshopper’s game. I believe I told him that I’d pay his 60 cents per month if he’d stop Matt bashing. And now for the first time ever Don Moore, [...]

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00:27
Odds and ends for 2/6 »Blog on the Run: Reloaded
New York’s attorney general comes down hard on Ken Lewis and Joseph Price in a civil lawsuit, alleging that the Bank of America CEO and CFO misled not only the bank’s shareholders but also their own board, the company’s lawyers and the public as to the amount of water Merrill Lynch was taking on when [...]

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00:17
I wonder what Dr. J will think of this »Applied Rationality
The New York Times reports on nurses fired for doing the right thing
It occurred to Anne Mitchell as she was writing the letter that she might lose her job, which is why she chose not to sign it. But it was beyond her conception that she would be indicted and threatened with 10 years in prison for doing what she knew a nurse must: inform state regulators that a doctor at her rural hospital was practicing bad medicine.

...But in what may be an unprecedented prosecution, Mrs. Mitchell is scheduled to stand trial in state court on Monday for “misuse of official information,” a third-degree felony in Texas.

The prosecutor said he would show that Mrs. Mitchell had a history of making "inflammatory" statements about Dr. Rolando G. Arafiles Jr. and intended to damage his reputation when she reported him last April to the Texas Medical Board, which licenses and disciplines doctors.

Mrs. Mitchell counters that as an administrative nurse, she had a professional obligation to protect patients from what she saw as a pattern of improper prescribing and surgical procedures — including a failed skin graft that Dr. Arafiles performed in the emergency room, without surgical privileges. He also sutured a rubber tip to a patient’s crushed finger for protection, an unconventional remedy that was later flagged as inappropriate by the Texas Department of State Health Services.
Commentary on this case seems like something tailor-made for North Carolina's Dr. J.

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00:09
Out of the closet, sitting at the lunch counter »Sue's Place
Frank Rich, comparing the repeal of “don’t ask” to the Greensboro sit-ins: The more bigotry pushed out of the closet for all voters to see, the more likely it is that Americans will be moved to grant overdue full citizenship to gay Americans. It won’t happen overnight, any more than full civil rights for African-Americans immediately [...]

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Saturday February 6, 2010

23:29
UNCG men fall at Wofford, 77-59 »Greensboro Sports
from the UNCG Spartan site here at our site: SPARTANBURG, S.C. – Wofford shot a season-best 58 percent from the floor for the game and had five players score in double figures to beat UNC Greensboro, 77-59, in Southern Conference men’s basketball action Saturday night at Benjamin Johnson Arena. UNCG (5-18, 4-8 SoCon) was led by [...]

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23:25
So how was your day? »Sue's Place
The below from some of our best friends just outside DC: their son is getting married tomorrow (about 50 miles away from where they live). We were supposed to be there. We lost power around 1 am today.  Just got it back an hour ago (21+ hours without power).  Got very cold.  House phone died around [...]

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23:05
Snow week area numbers »Greensboro Sports
Girls 1. Miranda Jenkins: Eastern Guilford: 22 pts 2.Ayshia McNeil: Southeast Guilford: 20 pts: Ronata Rogers: GDS: 20 pts 3. Capricia Small: Eastern Guilford: 18 pts: Susan Ricard: Caldwell: 18 pts: Catrina Green: Western Guilford: 18 pts 4. Zena Lovette: SWG:17 pts 5..Breonna Patterson: Dudley: 16 pts: Khadejah Wilkerson: GDS:16 pts: Carson Thorn:Westchester:16 pts 6.. Cree Barnes: Northeast: 15 pts:Julissa Anderson: [...]

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22:30
River Mill Girls Clinch Carolina 9 2-A/1-A Conference Title »Greensboro Sports
River Mill 91 Carrboro 46 The River Mill girls’ basketball team only dressed six players, but used a balanced attack to defeat Carrboro 91-46 on Saturday. With their 11th consecutive victory, the Lady Jaguars clinched the Carolina 9 2-A/1-A Conference Title. All six River Mill players scored in double digits. McKenzie [...]

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22:25
Eastern Guilford girls over Western Alamance to go (18-2) on the season »Greensboro Sports
Eastern Guilford defeated Western Alamance 58-44 in a conference game to raise their record to 18-2 and 10-0 in conference play. Both teams are coming off as all schools are of a shortened week because of inclement weather. Eastern held a slim 26-22 halftime lead before going on a 19-9 run in the third quarter. [...]

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22:21
Comment here on: "Police officer gets his job back after an appeal " »Commenting on the News & Record
The News & Record has prohibited comments on:

Police officer gets his job back after an appeal
Friday, September 25, 2009
By Ryan Seals

Add your comments on the story here.

UPDATE: This story is being discussed here, here, here and here.

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22:21
Comment here on: Latin King leader accuses police of home break-ins »Commenting on the News & Record
The News & Record has removed comments from:

Latin King leader accuses police of home break-ins
Sunday, September 20, 2009
By Gerald Witt

Add your comments on the story here.

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22:21
And Me? Can I Do It? »Mastering the Miles

Just checking in, with 3.5 days to go until race morning. I ran eight miles on Monday morning and three miles this morning with Stacy, and I'm not exactly feeling fresh. My hip flexors, both sides, feel increasingly like I'm running with the parking brake on. I'm just hoping that no runs between now and Sunday morning, popping some Alleve here and there, and stretching a bit will make things a bit better.

That, and thinking of all of you, including:
• My Blueliner fan club. You set fine examples, you keep running fun.
• Mason, my coworker's seven-year-old who has been fighting brain cancer cheerfully since it was diagnosed on Labor Day. Talk about strong.
• Kate, my college sophomore, who thinks it's cool I'm attempting this; Tommy, my high school senior, who thought I was flying to Boston this weekend for the marathon. (Just a slight difference between girls and boys.) I love those two kiddos.
• Robin, my "colleague" these last few months, who's kindly serving as personal driver and medical advisor while running the half marathon in-between.
• Sandy, Ellen, Ali, Erin -- you faithful blog readers who say such kind things.
• Chandler, my elderly dog, who will just be waiting anxiously for me to come home and doesn't care about marathon time one hoot.
• Bob. Coach Bob. Well, enough said, right?
• Dee, for being game to travel to NC for yet another adventure. Sally, for understanding and giving us both your blessings.


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22:21
Because you got to have FRIENDS »Mastering the Miles
I got a nice surprise  this morning. I was almost halfway through my solo eight-miler when who should emerge in the pre-dawn dark but my pal Stacy, who lives just up the road. She ran the next three or so with me before circling back home. 

I had been running fine, but it's so much nicer with a friend along. By sharing all the stupid things that have happened to us and our friends in recent days, we don't have to be so aware of the miles. Thanks Stacy, it was a p.r. for the Hamilton Lakes loop for me.

On my last mile home, I started thinking of how many wonderful people I've been lucky enough to run with regularly, over many years and in many locales. It started with Dee, 24 years ago, with our lunchtime runs around the Charles River in Boston. Dee "made" me run my first marathon back then. And she's flying in from Rhode Island to run Outer Banks with me -- how cool is that?

Then, let's see. Cindy during the year I lived in Providence, we trained for a half-marathon together. Ellen in Mystic, Sunday mornings along River Road. Pam, Patrice and Beverly nearly every day in Wooster, Ohio, and three or four marathons together. Very strong women. Then Greensboro, with Stacy, Betty, Sherry, Ali, Dena, Donna and the Blueliners. 

This fall, thanks to my work schedule and training needs, I've run more on my own than I've ever had to in the past. It's OK; I see how people swear by their time spent solo, sorting things out as they go. But I'd much rather gab and laugh and hear about others' lives as I trot along. I think of all those running partners, how different we all are. And how it doesn't much matter out on the road.

Here's to you, pals. May you never get together and start swapping stories about what you've had to put up with from me, in the dark and in the broad daylight....


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22:21
Chicago on my mind »Mastering the Miles
I keep thinking about two Blueliner running pals who are running the Chicago marathon tomorrow. 

Dena stuck to the Furman training method like glue these last three months, lots of hard work. She's a very disciplined and strong runner and should have a great race. 

Neal, who introduced me to the Galloway method, is looking to have fun and run strong. As a relatively new runner, he loves the whole scene around a big race like this. 

May they have tailwinds, mild temps, and p.r.s!


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22:21
Hills are my friends »Mastering the Miles
Bridget in my yoga class is one of those Really Good Runners who has been at it a long time and is still going strong. When I first met her four years ago, she was training for a half iron man. She is still just as lean and sculpted. AND she can touch her toes in yoga class. Amazing. I touch my shins.

Bridget made me feel good two weekends ago when she said my quads probably felt so beat up after Salem Lake because of trying to get traction on a wet, muddy day -- not because I'm weak or anything.

This past weekend, when I whined to her about how I was still slow, she told me to go run hills. If you want to run faster, she said, it's the thing to do.

So, in the dark at 6:15 this morning, there I was running up Northridge and trotting back down, three times, then one last hill on my way home. Not too awful, a nice break from the same old miles.

We'll see. I've got one month until Outer Banks. I'll try anything. Except track workouts.


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22:21
I'm not tapering, I'm peaking »Mastering the Miles

At least, that's what I learned today. Over bagels and coffee after my 12-miler today, I whined to Thad. (Poor guy, he started a running blog and now all he gets from us Saturday morning Blueliners is our fitness questions.) 

Anyway--back to me. I felt exhausted today, barely able to bring in the 12 miles. I'd rather not think about what my pace was. So I asked Thad about tapering, wondering of course if it's safe for me to start cutting back my miles when I feel so, well, not strong. Is the fatigue from all the training, or from weakness?

Thad sent me to a couple great articles by running coach Joe English. Mind you, when English talks about training load, I know he's working with much more serious athletes. But the thinking is the same: to be in peak shape for an event, after months of training, you do need to cut back on volume these last few weeks, but not on intensity. So, shorten the runs, but keep 'em (get them?) fast.

I grabbed a sheet of paper and started scribbling down my recent mileage. Lo and behold, last week really was a jump up, to 41 miles. Plus ten of those miles were two five-milers where I pushed the pace (thanks for the inspiration, Dennis). That's a jump in weekly mileage of five to seven miles or so, plus some intensity. Thus, fatigue.

So now, with two weeks to go before Outer Banks, my job is to do all I can to stay strong and healthy. Vitamins, protein, drink water. Massage (thanks, Chevy). Yoga. Sleep. And keep the runs short and fast. 

By the way, I'm not getting older, I'm getting better. :)


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22:21
Joan Does It Again »Mastering the Miles
In case you didn't hear, Joan Benoit Samuelson ran a 2:49:09 in the NYC Marathon this past Sunday. It's an event record for women over 50, by more than four minutes, and it's just one second off the American marathon record that she set last April during the Olympic Trials for women 50 and up.

Joan's been a hero of mine since 1979, when she won her first Boston Marathon in her characteristic fashion: low-key, no frills manner but decisive, take-no-prisoner wins.

These days I find her race times astonishing, making us all choke on our excuses of "my body's too old for this."

I was thrilled to meet Samuelson last spring when she came to town for the NC Marathon. As she headed out for a 10-mile training run (at a leisurely seven-minute pace), she acknowledged that it takes her a little while to warm up these days and work out the stiffness. So, she's human. Just fast.


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22:21
Maybe at heart I'm a slug »Mastering the Miles
I ran 13 miles this morning out at Salem Lake on a pretty, late summer day  in the company of friends. That's all nice, but right at this moment what I like best about long Saturday morning runs is the mid-day nap that follows, if at all possible.

I got home from the lake after scooching around in my seat for the half-hour drive home. Driving  stresses my right achilles and the exact spot on my right hamstring-hip-butt that yells at me after an hour or so of running. I limped my way through a couple errands, took a shower, downed a glass of milk and a few ginger snaps, and crawled into bed at 11:30 am -- just as my 17-year-old was waking up.

I choose to look at these naps as part of the training protocol. We know that rest is important. I recently quizzed two long-time marathoners, Marianne and Maureen, about what keeps them healthy and fast. They agreed that rest in its various forms -- days off and sleep -- is important and can get shortchanged when you're getting up early most mornings to run. And women's hormonal changes can make long nights of sleep harder to come by as we ag...er, as we move gracefully into the next age group.

Anyhow, I feel like a new woman. I'm rested and ready to think about how many long runs to go before the marathon: five or six, looks like. That's a half dozen good naps in my future.


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22:21
Ode to Coach Bob »Mastering the Miles

I was twenty-five and living in Boston. I had broken up with my college boyfriend and was trying to date casually. It didn't work. Instead, I developed a huge crush on the tall, dark-haired guy who worked in the office suite down the hall. 

I sent people to investigate and learned he was Bob, a grad student at Harvard who had coached lacrosse and soccer at Princeton. My crush daydreams grew to include fall afternoons hanging out at soccer games.

Somehow it all worked, and I did spend a few afternoons at games that first fall that we were dating. I also ran my second marathon that fall, half thinking it would impress him. But it turns out I never had to play games like that with Bob, I could just be myself. 

By the time we met, Bob wasn't coaching anymore. He became a college administrator, then professor. Well, he did coach many of our kids' teams: t-ball, Little League, rec basketball, rec lacrosse--even Kate's high school lacrosse team, where the girls loved calling him "Bob."

Still, over our 24 years together, I have benefitted from his coaching. Like all good teachers and coaches I've known (Dee, Joan, Thad, for starters), he has the ability to break tasks down into do-able steps. And he imparts confidence: Let me show you the skills because I know you can do this.

When my pals and I qualified for Boston at Cleveland in ’99, Bob sat waiting for us at mile 23. He proudly ran in with us, totally getting what the whole deal meant to me, a clueless jv athlete at best. 

A friend who's started online dating again asked me one of those interview-like questions she had to answer for the service: What makes a relationship work? There's the usual things -- communication, negotiation, respect. But probably one of the things I love most about Bob is he makes me laugh--always has, still does. And he never allows me to take myself seriously. That's more important than you know for anyone who tends to get boggled up in her mind, strategizing and analyzing things to death.

Coach Bob has been rooting for me and my qualifying quest these last few months. He's experiencing some of the same disconcerting effects of age when he runs -- slowing down, aching more -- so he understands that this time around is more of a push. 

He's the first person I'll want to call after I cross the finish line in Manteo next week, no matter what happens. It kills me that he'll be on an airplane, flying home from a conference, and I won't be able to either celebrate or commiserate with him.

Here's to you, Bob, for all the sweaty laundry you've had to wash, all the whining you've endured, the hours lost to naps and other long-run recuperation. You've always believed in me--like the best coaches do.



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22:21
Pass/Fail »Mastering the Miles
My new coworkers Dave and Sharrod have clued me in to the hip expression, "fail!" As in, you snap a photo of your friend doing something stupid and all the caption needs to say is FAIL.

For the next eight weeks, I'm living with the angst that I may have to slap "fail" across one of those commercial photo proofs of me crossing the finish line at the Outer Banks marathon. If the clock above the finish line says anything more than 4:05, I'll have missed my Boston qualifying time. And because I've been telling anyone and everyone about my goal, I'll have lots of chances to practice explaining how nope, it didn't work out, no 50th birthday party in Boston next April for me.

I realize it's all relative. Plenty of folks would be ecstatic to cross a finish line and know that they had run 26.2 miles, no matter the pace. But that's not what I've set out to do. Yet, while I knew how torturous marathon training can be, I didn't really grasp how much I've slowed down these last few years, how rusty and cranky my body feels about the mileage and speed. 

Marathons are monsters that cannot be tamed. I know that. You can train well for months, sleep and eat well, do everything right, then wake up that morning and be sick, turn your ankle, face thunderstorms. I love that unpredictability, actually -- it means anything is possible. You could have a great day and set a personal record. To some degree. If I can't run sub-nine minute miles for 10 miles, I probably can't run them for 26 miles.

This has been a big year for learning that life doesn't always follow the script I envision. Last winter I left a good job that had grown stale. I was brimming with naive confidence that I could hand pick a new job, in a new field, not truly factoring in the dismal state of the economy. I've had some disappointing experiences since then -- people who turned 180 degrees, folks who disappeared -- but also some wonderful gifts of meeting genuine, bright people working hard on efforts that matter. Figuring out how to pick my head up off my desk when work prospects looked bleak has taught me a few new lessons about persistence and humility. 

And once again, running offers great, tangible metaphors. Do a few early rejections mean I should abandon plans to launch a business? Only if a few early, slow runs mean I shouldn't aim for a good marathon time. In both cases, I've stepped out of my comfort zone. I could rest on my laurels (I'm embarrassed to admit how often I hear myself telling people that I have indeed qualified for Boston once before, 10 years ago). But I prefer the notion that in running, as in writing, I'm only as capable as my last run or my last article. What I accomplished two years ago, or ten years ago, informs who I am and what I know, but it's about how you put those strengths and abilities to work in the present.

Here's what I intend to do: I'm going to keep running, even if some of it feels more like trudging. I'm going to remember what I love about running -- its simplicity, the people, the outdoors, the honest fatigue -- and only check my watch when I have to. I'm going to remember that every time I've pushed myself, I've come out the other side knowing myself better, whether I've reached my goal or come just short of it.

Maybe that's my real goal, anyway, to know myself better. To say I don't want to turn 50 as a has-been means I don't want to be someone who doesn't try, who shuts the door on opportunities because they look a little out of reach. That, in my book, would be a FAIL.


[Full article]
22:21
Precious minutes »Mastering the Miles
I have pondered time -- minutes and seconds -- more in the last few months than ever in my life, thanks to this Boston qualifying business. For most of our days, minutes fly by like nothing -- there's so many of them that we can't possibly notice each and every one.

Early in the training, I was trying to figure out my typical pace and the difference that 10 or 15 seconds per mile would make. Not huge, in the course of a mile. Over the course of 26 miles, very big.

Lately, since deciding that the Galloway run-walk plan is my marathon salvation, I've been savoring my one-minute walk breaks on long runs, every nine minutes. Those 60-second breaks feel like precious chocolate-chip cookies that I don't want to gobble down too quickly. I count in my head to 20, times three, wishing that my counting could slow the seconds down. I set my sights on a tree that looks like it's a minute up the road and test how close I come in my minute's worth of walking.

Yesterday I set out to do 18 miles, but mapmyrun tells me I was short, just a little over 17. Which means my time was disappointingly slow. Alarmingly slow -- I'm embarrassed to tell you. But I'm going to focus on the positives: I did it myself! I've never run that far by myself in 25 years of running. And I didn't feel dead when I finished -- probably because of my pathetic pace. 

Back to positives: On a traumatic day in which I gave up my precious Blackberry because Verizon was going to charge ridiculous fees, I gained a favorite new "hand-held": a cute 10-ounce water bottle that fits in the cup of my hand with a little strap. I'd been parched on my last few runs, so yesterday I took great comfort in knowing I could drink whenever I needed to.

Looks my homework this week is simple: speed.



[Full article]
22:21
Random Thoughts, A Few Fine Whines »Mastering the Miles

In no particular order:

I am tired of running in the pre-dawn dark, even by 6:45 a.m. I wish the clocks would FALL BACK already. I dread tripping on an errant acorn or the lip of a sidewalk and ending this training.

It would be easier if, after a long run, the weather turned cool and rainy, like last week. Then there's no guilt in a mid-day nap. Today it is sparkling, nice mild temperatures, and all I've wanted to do is sleep. I justified a quick nap by lying on my stomach with a bag of frozen blueberries on my right achilles.

Speaking of the achilles, a cheap $9.99 Dr. Scholl's insert seems to be helping a bit -- giving arch support and heel cushion. My right hip even feels better. But now my left hip hurts...

When people kindly ask how my training is going and they are runners, I'm embarrassed to have to tell them my pace. I've dropped from an 8-minute runner to a 9-minute-miler in just a few years. I swear I try to mumble under my breath and turn my head as I speak.  

That's it, for now. I usually feel better after a little whine and cheese.


[Full article]
22:21
Return to the Blogosphere »Mastering the Miles
Going to see the movie, Julie and Julia, about the young blogger who chronicled her year of cooking her way through Julia Child's cookbook, made me wrestle with the concept of blogs. On one hand, these public journals epitomize self-absorption, and millions of these things litter the Internet. On the other hand, the form encourages practice, the daily exercise of writing, and it offers the potential for a writer and readers to interact like we've never seen before. 
    Obviously, the pros won out. We writers love metaphor and symbolism -- and not writing in a vacuum. It's all here in blogging. The practice of entering a post mirrors the other discipline I'm attempting -- training for a November marathon to qualify for the Boston Marathon. And I love to gather a community. I take great comfort in learning I'm not the only runner struggling with getting slower after years of taking my ability for granted. And I love meeting others, women especially, who look at their imminent empty nest (my kids are 18 and 17) as a sign that they can attempt to do something new now, to put all that energy that went into raising kids into another constructive undertaking. 
    So here we are. I've got about nine weeks until the Outer Banks marathon on Nov. 8. I've just sent my oldest back to Pittsburgh for her sophomore year at college, and her little brother starts his senior year of high school on Tuesday. My husband, a college professor, starts his classes tomorrow. Order returns to our world; it's a fine time to start this practice again. 
    


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22:21
Second to last long training run -- EVER! »Mastering the Miles
See, I just don't think I've really got this athlete thing down. For a few reasons:

1. I set out to do 17 miles this morning. I started at the dark, ungodly hour of 5:40, because I had a 9 a.m. board meeting. It was in the high sixties and incredibly humid, and by 14 miles or so I had talked myself into just doing 16 -- you know, so I'd have time to get to the board meeting. Never mind that I was exhausted. At 14.5 miles, I talked myself into still another shortcut, ending up with 15.5 miles. And the thing is, I only feel a little bad about it. A real athlete would be horrified.

2. That exhaustion part. Back home on my front porch, I could barely bring each leg up on a chair arm to untie my shoes. My back end -- hamstrings, hips, butt -- locked up. That's how it feels running these days, like the muscles I should use to accelerate are locked, or like I'm trying to run with the parking brake on. A real athlete would probably go work out with some weight machines at a gym to push beyond that, get stronger. Me? I just whine.

3. I got hungry and spacey by the end of the run today. I had been counting on bringing along some jelly beans (my alternative to those Goo packs), but it looks like my teenager must have found them and thought they were a treat for him. It doesn't help that my carbo-load dinner last night was tuna tacos and 1.5 Natty Greene's drafts down at Fishbones. A real athlete would have eaten a sensible pasta dinner, washed down with several glasses of water. I thought about it.

Like I told Steve, the race director for the recent 3oK Salem Lake race: "Great race. I never want to do it again." I am reaffirming for myself why I gave up marathons for six years -- they're too hard for me. I'm still feeling like my chances of hitting the Boston qualifying time at the Outer Banks are decent. If I qualify, I'll train a bit for Boston, but only enough to enjoy being there, not for any kind of time.

I want to get back to running for fun. Silly, I know. 


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22:21
So, why marathons? »Mastering the Miles
It's been about a month or so that I can say I've been officially training for my next marathon, which is Nov. 8. The funniest moment so far came at the lowest point, a few weeks ago. Dena and I were circling Salem Lake on a steam bath of a Saturday morning. The humidity was wiping out every runner we saw. Pretty as that trail is, the air tends to just hang over the lake. About halfway on our second loop, 10 miles or so into a 13-mile run, I was concentrating on running fast enough to keep Dena on her training pace, and she had pretty much stopped chatting.  We couldn't drink enough to stay hydrated; we could wring the sweat out of our shirts and shorts. Suddenly Dena says, "It's times like this I don't want to be a runner! I don't care about a four-hour marathon!"

The thought still cracks me up. How silly this must look to the casual observer -- runners in so much discomfort and agony, and it's a voluntary act of recreation. You know, for fun.

All the negatives about marathon training made me swear off of it for the last six years. Ask Will -- he and I co-founded the No More Marathon faction of our Saturday morning running group. Been there, done that, tired of the throbbing hamstrings. 

Go ahead and run one, I always tell runners who start dreaming about it. It's empowering and satisfying and you can apply it to the rest of your life. If I can run a marathon, you tell yourself, then I can get through this deadline, deal with this difficult person — anything that requires endurance and will power.

But don't think there's a lot of skill involved. Really, long-distance running is as much a mental exercise as anything. If you've got the time to commit to training and the desire to finish, you can do it.

The lack of desire was what did me in about six years ago. My first couple marathons brought that sheer satisfaction from finishing 26.2 miles. Then Pam and Patrice trained with me to run Cleveland and qualify for Boston. It was tough training through an Ohio winter with a qualifying time hanging over my head, but those two, and my long-time friend Dee, just seemed to pull me along in their wake, they're such strong athletes. Running Boston the next year was all a celebration, two days before I turned 40.

A few years later, those pals decided to run Nashville. I went so I wouldn't feel like a has-been. By mile 17, though, I would have paid anyone to drive me in. I had no love of the challenge, no good reason I could think to keep plugging along. All I wanted to do was to sit down, stop.

So here I am, at 49, trying to do the Boston qualifying thing again and sometimes wondering why, as Dena voiced at Salem Lake. I guess I still don't want to be a has-been. Boston, next April, falls exactly on my 50th birthday -- talk about celebration. But what I quickly discovered, a month or so ago, is how much I've slowed down in the last few years. I can't take a four-hour marathon for granted, where 10 years ago it would have been a walk in the park. So I'm fretting and scheming and yes, the hamstrings throb. And sometimes I even admit, not as publicly as Dena, that I don't really want to be doing this.

Then I go home, have a good shower and a cup of coffee and come to my senses. Or not.


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22:21
Straying from moderation »Mastering the Miles
Today was one of those nicely balanced days. I thrive on balance--and sunshine. And I got plenty of both today. In the space of twelve hours, from 5:30 am to 5:30 pm, here's what I've accomplished:

Professional: Four hours of editing on two clients' book projects. Coffee with a designer, a neighborhood friend who may work with me on one of the books. An hour's meeting with one of the authors.

Domestic: Four rooms vacuumed, half the kitchen floor mopped (because of our elderly dog's continence issues). Quick run to grocery for basics.  Front yard and neighbor's front yard mowed (because I borrowed their mower). Leaves swept off the back deck. Checks deposited at bank.

Active: No run (love that tapering), but a happy walk in the woods with my little dog. She hunted and leaped and sprinted for an hour, I walked and admired the leaves and sunshine.

So, nothing to excess, the basics taken care of, all a nice flow.

Living a balanced life has its satisfactions, of course. But I've just realized it's one of the things that has made this marathon training such a challenge (sorry for prattling on about this over coffee, Michael, it's all just becoming clearer). When I try to do one thing well, when I push one activity beyond moderation, I am stepping out of my all-important comfort zone. Aiming to run a marathon at a faster than comfortable pace is exactly that -- a scary tipping of the balance.

Us everything-in-moderation folks typically lack the competitive gene that distinguishes every good athlete I've ever known. You know the ones, people who will pass someone in front of them in a road race just because they're there. People who can't imagine not playing hard until the last second, leaving it all on the field. I've never really left it all on the field because I'm too aware of my comfort level. I'll run or ride a bike for hours, happily, but that's usually because I'm yacking with pals or admiring the scenery, not studying my watch or odometer and aiming for a personal best. Such moderation has probably helped keep me injury free over the last 25 years, but it also limits the trophies and medals on my shelf.

Now that I've labeled it, I understand much better my angst over the last few months. My mind has been wrestling with itself and with my body. I've set a goal that would be exciting to meet, I'd feel quite proud qualifying for Boston. But my worn-out hamstrings and my comfort-zone loving heart may not be up to it. 

Life, meanwhile, has definitely lost some of its balance: the house is dirtier, my contribution to meals much shakier, my time with Bob more taken up with details of aches, pain and fatigue. These imbalances are temporary, of course. Pushing myself physically, to above-average running, would be longer lasting. 

We'll see. A mere 10 days. And speaking of moderation, I think it's time for a heart-healthy glass of red wine, to toast the day.


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22:21
Surviving Salem Lake »Mastering the Miles
This morning's 18.6-mile trail race at Salem Lake was a great dry run for the Outer Banks marathon. Well, not very dry -- it's been drizzly and cool since last night. Which means mud and drizzle on the trail. But I'll take that over hot and humid any day.

After weeks, months really, of worrying about my pace, it was good to run a race and see how I was doing. Except being clueless about my pace kind of hurt me. I had to work my way through a slow, crowded first mile, so I thought I should push -- the specter of a Boston qualifying time is camped out on my shoulder, of course. Thankfully, Les and Jim from my Saturday morning Blueliners group ran by at the three-mile mark to let me know that I'd run a 7:50 pace, mile 2 to 3. Way too fast.

So I cranked back a bit and ran a fun next three miles with a gentleman who liked my pace. He inquired about the age of Sam, another Blueliner who passed by, so I asked him his. Ready? 69. Blew me away. Great guy. Started running at 41, and at 49 ran his marathon pr, 3:17. I was inspired.

The first half I averaged 8:30s, the second half in 9:10s. Lesson learned: aim for 8:45s and I'll probably feel better. And Outer Banks won't have all the twists and turns of this trail run.

I had a fun moment this afternoon in my post-race stupor, one of those times when you realize how foreign this running stuff is to most folks. I had to re-visit our cell phone situation, the continuing transition after Verizon bought Alltel. I had a not-great Verizon experience last week so I picked a new store, stumbled in with my phone and Bob's, and got Sierra, a nice salesman. We clicked. He's been beaten up for days by unhappy former Alltelers, including a family of three just before me. He helped me out,  finding a cheap way to get me back to my Blackberry, and he loved that I didn't bark at him. I was too tired, and I could tell he was being honest with me. 

Over the course of an hour-long visit, I couldn't control a few yawns. I was trying to decide mentally between a latte or nap when I was done with the phone stuff.

"So Lisa, tell me what you do. You just don't strike me as someone who sits around watching TV," Sierra says. 

I laughed. And felt good. He didn't see me as an exhausted old lady, he saw me as an athlete!

"Well, this morning I ran 18 and a half miles around a lake," I told him. He pushed back his chair and shook his head. "I knew it," he said, and called out to his colleague, "Hey! Do you know what this nice lady did this morning?"

I felt downright formidable.


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22:21
Thank you, fall »Mastering the Miles
I can breathe again! September swooped in with wonderfully cool air overnight, and I had a great run this morning, my downtown five-miler. 

For ridiculous reasons -- a cheap Target watch, my pit stop behind the bushes at UNCG, and the couple minutes it takes my achilles to stop arguing with me -- I don't know my time. But I felt good, the way running should feel. I think my kind friends have been right: it's been the humidity, stupid, that's made running feel so trudge-like this last month.

So welcome, autumn. Remind me never to train for a fall marathon again, when you have to start in the summer. Actually, remind me never to train for a marathon again.


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22:21
The brilliance of run-walk-run »Mastering the Miles
I hope I'm not counting my eggs before they hatch, but yesterday's run felt like a big breakthrough. Hello, Galloway method!

Maybe you've heard of it. Galloway is the run/walk concept where, from the very start of a long run or race, you take regular walking intervals. I remember being vaguely aware of this when Jeff Galloway introduced it. Mentally I turned my nose up at the idea -- must be for those beginning runners or the perpetually slow who can't REALLY run a marathon.

Years later I met Neal, who joined our Saturday morning group. He brought all the zeal of a newcomer to exercise and running. He had just dropped some 50 pounds or so and loved running, kept wanting to do more and longer. Aches and pains, though, made him turn to Gallowaying. He's run four marathons since, each progressively faster, now hovering around four hours. He finishes in fine shape, ready to go celebrate while most of us have to limp off and lick our wounds.

Looking for any answers I can find to snag a Boston qualifying time, I've been asking Neal if I could try it with him. I finally got to yesterday, his last long training run before the Chicago marathon.

I LOVED it. Seventeen miles felt more like 10. Neal sets his Garmin to warn him, with four beeps, every 8 minutes. He walks for a minute (speed walks, I couldn't keep up with him), then four beeps warn him as the minute wraps up. It feels strange at first, when you're fresh, to stop and walk. He had warned me about this, that mentally the hardest thing about Gallowaying in a race is walking in those first miles while people run by you. But by now he knows that he'll be the one passing people in the last six or seven miles.

And that's the idea. That break from the monotony of the running pace uses slightly different muscles, preventing some of the fatigue in your legs. Just as important is the mental break, I think. It was all clear to me at about 15 miles yesterday. Normally by then I'd be hurting a bit and starting to doubt my toughness, scared that I couldn't really finish. Yesterday I realized I was running without fear or mental stress, because I knew that in eight minutes or less I'd get a little break. Brilliant!

The last remaining issue will be speed. Neal and I averaged somewhere between 9:15 and 9:30 minute miles, he says. We had much to discuss -- it was catching up and a business meeting wrapped into a run -- so we didn't focus on the clock a bit. I feel fairly sure I could pick up the pace, now that I know you really do feel fresher even after a few hours. That was my concern: that I'd feel just as tired at 16 miles, plus that much slower because of walking breaks.

Then there's injury prevention. Advocates say the Galloway method significantly cuts down on wear and tear. I left my house yesterday morning worried about my right achilles, which keeps getting worse. This could be the long run, I thought, that finally puts me on the sidelines -- we lost Marshall last week to a foot stress fracture. But, aside from the usual starting out pain, not a problem!

I plan to test Galloway next weekend with an 18-miler on my own. I need to find one of those computers-on-your-wrist and get a digitally savvy person to program it to beep like Neal's does. It was nice to not have to fuss with or check a watch at all, just listen for the beeps.

Eight weeks to go until Outer Banks -- happy trails.


[Full article]
22:21
Think Brett Favre Has to Do This? »Mastering the Miles

I'm all alone tonight and savoring it. Another hot bath, hot as I could stand it. All that time in the bathroom, though, forced me to scrub a bit and vacuum up one layer of dog hair afterwards, perhaps ruining the mood. 

Then a ceremonial dinner: grilled cheese and Gatorade with Van Morrison, who is serenading me along with Bruce on Pandora. 

It's nice, all this relaxing and attention to myself, my hydration, etc., but I kind of feel like I'm going off to war or something. I suppose I am—off to do battle with myself for four hours on Sunday morning.

Dinner will be topped off with the scrumptious cake my daughter had delivered from her former workplace, through her brother, with "Good Luck Mom" in gorgeous script across the top. I'm so proud.


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22:21
This Is Why I Run, Installment 3 »Mastering the Miles
This is why I run: To feel good about getting myself out for a 10-mile run on a cold, drizzly weeknight after sitting in a conference all day. I could have drawn from so many excuses -- tired, haven't been home, better to go to the grocery store, what if it really starts raining, I only run in the mornings, on an on. Instead I got out the door, and I actually enjoyed the temperature, the twilight, the physical movement after a long day of sitting. Afterward, the groceries still weren't bought and the house still wasn't clean, but those things didn't seem like such big deals. I love that.

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22:21
This Is Why I Run: A little inspiration »Mastering the Miles
In the spirit of NPR's "This I Believe," I launch the series, "This Is Why I Run."

Installment 1: Watching the sun rise up over Hamilton Lake, halfway around my eight-mile loop this morning. Steam was rising off the water, and it was just me and the ducks taking it in.


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22:21
This Is Why I Run: Installment 2 »Mastering the Miles
It was fun this weekend when a friend who hasn't seen me in a year or so exclaimed, "Oh my gosh, you've shrunk!"

Mind you, I'm hardly wasting away. But I do feel better than at a low moment in July. It was the end of a great bike trip with Dee and Virginia across New York State. We were toweling off in a high school locker room and I caught sight of my bare naked body in a full-length mirror. Compared to my two lean friends, I looked like the "before" picture and they were the "after" examples of what exercise can do for you. 

Pudgy wasn't how I had "seen" myself all week -- I had felt strong, athletic, with 500 hilly miles under my legs over 7 days. But the reality of the mirror reflected differently. It showed the cumulative effects of middle-age metabolism, which loves to pile the fat on in the middle of our bodies, and months and months of sedentary work.

Nothing like increasingly longer runs in late-summer humidity in North Carolina, however, to burn off some of that mid-section. It took the bike trip, followed immediately by marathon training, to jump start my metabolism. I hope the engine keeps running.


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22:21
Twenty miles done, plenty of questions »Mastering the Miles
Faithful readers, nice friends, have been asking about the 20-miler yesterday. I'm still processing it. 

I loved the course: a few miles through my neighborhood, then Market Street to downtown. At five miles, Robin met me, and we did five out through the estates of Irving Park and north on Elm, then five back. The last five were the meandering bike path from Bessemer back to Elam, the way I commuted to work on my bike two summers ago.

After so many long runs on my own, I loved Robin's company, it was perfect timing. But by the time I met her, I was three minutes off the goal pace of nine-minute miles, so I bagged the whole pace/clock thing and just ran, or ran-walked -- we did a modified Galloway in which we'd stop to walk roughly every ten minutes, sometimes earlier or later because of an uphill or downhill.

So here's the hitch -- it was exactly 10-minute miles. Should I fret? At one point towards the end yesterday, I felt my chest tighten as I pondered it all. I really don't think I can do 9-minute miles, I thought, for 26 miles. I really think this is over my head. Should I even bother traveling to the Outer Banks? Then I tried to reason that people (Dee and her running club mate) are traveling just for the race, I have to at least go and finish.

My husband, he of the New Jersey sarcasm and coach pragmatism, told me yesterday afternoon with unusual confidence that he knows  I can do it. "You just have to suck it up for one day," he says. 

I guess that's how to approach it. Train my mental muscles, hope my physical muscles cooperate, and "leave it all on the road." THREE MORE WEEKS!


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22:21
What Would Joseph Say »Mastering the Miles

I've joked for a half year or so about how my Sunday morning yoga class is my church. But to some degree, it's true. Those 1.5 hours of yoga each week have certainly been my salvation as I build running mileage again. Yoga tends to undo a lot of that damage. Running tightens the hamstrings and hips, yoga pulls at them to stretch and open up again.

I've had quite a few good instructors over the years, and they each have their strengths. Joseph, my current teacher, focuses particularly on alignment. We move slowly through the class with his reminders to rotate our legs, arms, core. I find myself in poses,  my hamstrings stretched excruciatingly while I run through the check list -- pinkie toes pulling back, kneecaps facing up, thigh rotating in, arms rotating out... The multitasking becomes a discipline, sometimes taking the focus off the screaming hamstrings because there's so many other things to align.

Now Joseph's voice is lasting with me longer through the week. It starts as I hop on my bike for the half-mile ride home from the studio. As soon as I start to slide into my standard slump -- shoulders forward, core collapsed -- I think how my teacher would come behind me with reminders for all of us. "Remember to grow your spine tall, collarbone wide, let your shoulder blades travel down your back," he tells us. I've never thought much, truly, about having a collarbone, but letting it grow wide is exactly what I need to open up my chest, pull my rounding shoulders back,  my abs up.

On runs, it's become a good distraction to check in with the alignment of various body parts as a way to ignore the usual aches and pains. I grow my spine tall and think about my lungs filling newly opened space in my chest cavity. I drop my shoulder blades down my back and think about engaging my core. And then I try to just breathe. Joseph would be quite proud, I'm sure.


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22:21
"If there was one thing..." »Inside Triad Stage
So, I asked the cast of Picnic the following curious question:

If there was one thing from your experience thus far that has helped you get into character within this William Inge world of the 1950s in Kansas,

what would it be?
Here's how some responded:

Emily Mark playing Christine Schoenwalder said, "If I had to choose one thing that's helped me the most I'd say it was the opening scenes from The Wizard of Oz. The flat landscape, the farm images, the way that people (especially Margaret Hamilton!) spoke, all of that has been the strongest influence for me. "

Matthew Carlson playing Alan Seymour said, "For me, its been Alan's car keys. My entrances in both Act I and II are preceded by the sound of a car, so I asked for a set of keys to use. It's been a subtle reminder of class difference for me, creating a little social distance and a pride that sets Alan apart."

Amy da Luz playing Rosemary Syndey said, "Images are big for me, I always cut and past a lot of historical and geographic (to set time and place), but also conceptual. Which is often a lot less "literal" as you know. Anyways, this one clicked for me in a big way for Rosemary. Everything about it. What it once was. What it is now. The proud stalk still standing - but with the hopeless droop of its head. The washed out fence behind it. It worked for me on several levels...

Funny thing is, I had no idea the state flower for Kansas was the wild sunflower until after I had cut the image. Who knew?"

Jim Crawford playing Howard Bevans said, "There were a lot of helpful visual images, but the thing that helped me the most on Picnic came from Chris Morris, our dialect coach. She recommended that we listen to Kansas-based Farm Radio (KFRM link). I listened to it often in my apartment. There is a particularly midwestern way of talking about business--the rhythm is clipped and upbeat, and it's simultaneously friendly and keeps people at arm's length. It helped me to get a handle on my character, Howard the shop owner, more than anything."

Beth Ritson playing Flo Owens said, "For me its the image of the landscape: flat, barren, and endless, but with a beauty so extraordinaire that its pioneer ancestors said, 'Let's stop here.' "



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22:21
"Triad Stage’s Picnic Is a Superb Rendition of a Theater Classic" »Inside Triad Stage

The Classical Voice of North Carolina, based out of Raleigh, has given us another insightful review of one of our plays.

Read the review.
~
Also, at our last Sunday matinee on Sept. 13th we had the definitive William Inge biographer, Ralph Voss, come and speak with us at our InSight talkback.

“Even an isolated prairie village can produce a killer or an artist, a thief or a saint, a dreamer or a builder: whatever possibilities human beings have anywhere else, they have also in the Midwestern village. That such an environment is uniformly wholesome and unerringly beneficent was a myth that had been well exposed by such Inge predecessors as Sinclair Lewis, Sherwood Anderson, and Edgar Lee Masters, who was also a native of Kansas. William Inge, however, was the first American writer to expose that myth in the dramatic genre.”

-Ralph Voss

Mr. Voss visited us last time to speak about William Inge we did Bus Stop way back in the fall of 2004. If you are interested in getting season tickets to our InSight Sunday matinee click here.



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22:21
And we're now on YouTube... »Inside Triad Stage



(Blogger has a limited format, to see it bigger go click here.)


AND we got a nice (and rare) review from Shane Hudson, theatre maven of NC.

His "Theatre North Carolina" blog is linked on the right.



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22:21
Board of Trustees meets @ the Shop »Inside Triad Stage
The Board of Trustees of Triad Stage met at our shop located off Swing Rd. in west Greensboro. Typically, the board meets at the theater downtown, but we wanted them to see where production team works & creates. They were able to meet most of the staff (who weren't loading in the Oleanna set) and tour the facilities. Many are sitting on chairs from the furniture stock we have out there, as well. The room you see them in now is the paint room where very large pieces of scenery can be painted and stored.


Christy Wright (production manager), Steven Box (director of sales & marketing), and Kathy Manning (vice-chair board member) look on as matters are discussed.


We had an invited artists panel to come talk to the board about being an artist at Triad Stage. Donna Bradby gestures as Krista Hoeppner and Beth Ritson look on.



Board members Hayes Clement, Ron Johnson, & Willie Taylor listen to the artists panel as Rich looks on.


Sherry Barr (director of audience services), Beth Ritson (actor), Donna Bradby (director & choreographer) and David Smith (sound designer).


The shop's main floor where sets are built in large pieces and then taken apart for transport and then loaded into the theater and put together onstage.


Managing Director Rich Whittington shares a little about the history of the shop as Christy Wright gets the board ready for a tour.

Board members listen as Christy Wright (production manager) describes how the departments work and how she has overseen tons of materials recycled or thrown away to in order to reorganize the shop.


Kelsey Hunt (resident costume designer & costume shop supervisor) explains how the costume stock is organized (by gender and decade).


Preston Lane (artistic director) and Kathy Manning (board vice-chair) make plans for future meetings. (Set pieces from our production of Streetcar Named Desire are seen in the background.)

One finds all kinds of interesting curios out in the shop. (I could not find out why we had this hanging around.)


Here is a colorful snapshot out at the shop of bolts of fabric used by props and costumes from everything from chairs to dresses .





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22:21
Don't forget the "Closer Look" @ our website... »Inside Triad Stage
for Dramaturgical Links of the 1950s, Photos of the Set, Costume Renderings & more...
~


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22:21
Oleanna in Rehearsal and Tech »Inside Triad Stage
Oleanna by David Mamet has now entered tech/dress rehearsals at Triad Stage.
Lighting designer John Wolf intentionally evokes the look of a boxing ring because of the combative nature of the play.

Julie Allen runs the light board.

Kaylyn Lowe runs the sound board.



Ginny Lee talks to Preston Lane as Lee Spencer looks on.




Ginny Lee as Carol casts one of many dubious glances at her fellow actor playing John.


Lee Spencer as John wrangles with a telephone call. (The sound designer, David Smith, called the telephone a veritable 3rd character.)


A shot from the control booth.


"What do you want of me?"


There are many things in this play that raise tensions...



~

Lee Spencer plays John.


Ginny Lee plays Carol.


Preston Lane directs.

~

JOHN: ...that's my job don't you know...
CAROL: What is?
JOHN: To provoke you.




[Full article]
22:21
Oleanna Preview »Inside Triad Stage
Check out our preview for OLEANNA that contains footage from when we performed it at An Appalachian Summer Festival this past July.




To link to our Triad Stage YouTube channel click here.


OLEANNA runs October 18th through November 8th. For more info click here.



[Full article]
22:21
Oleanna Rehearsals Begin »Inside Triad Stage
We will be taking Oleanna up to Boone for the Appalachian Summer Festival later this month.
More info below...

Preston Lane, director.

Ginny Lee, playing Carol.


Lee Spencer, playing John.

Table work for Oleanna.

Ginny Lee (Carol) has also been seen at Triad Stage in Brother Wolf.

From the perspective of the dramaturg...

(i.e. me.)
We have been reading through the script, answering questions and trying to find the right rhythms.

Lee Spencer (John) has also been seen at Triad Stage in Little Foxes and the Upstage Cabaret production of Dracula. Sitting next to him is Scout, who is the assisant stage manager for this production.

Ginny Lee and Emily Mails, the stage manager.
~
This year the Applachian Summer Festival is celebrating its 25th season. We will be performing Oleanna on July 21st & 22nd. And, on the 24th of July we will doing a reading of Providence Gap, the new Preston Lane & Laurelyn Dossett collaboration that is not only our last show this coming season at Triad Stage, but will also be performed at the Appalachian Summer Festival next year.
For more information about the Applachian Summer Festival click here.



[Full article]
22:21
Picnic Build & Rehearsals »Inside Triad Stage
The load-in and build for Picnic has begun. Here you can see the groundplan and carpenters working.


Source 4's at the ready.


Master Electrician Nick Hussong handling pipe.


This is a pile of sod--which will be laid down between the two houses.



During the same day, someone kindly donated a couple dozen old shoes to our costume shop and our Production Manager, Christy Wright, inspects the goods.


(OMG, shoes...)


And then the costume ladies descend... Kelsey, Sasha, Kate, & Ms. Cassstevens.


Matthew Carlson & Joe Tippett go over their scene with Preston Lane.


Joe Tippett & Matthew Carlson.


On a break from rehearsal, Matthew, Preston and Joe discuss how the 1970s produced the greatest films of American cinema.


Meg Steedle resting on the fence post during a break from rehearsal.


Meg Steedle


Chris Morris, dialect coach, watches rehearsal.


Cheryl Koski resting on the fence post during rehearsal.


Chris Morris sits as Emily Mark and Joby Strachan anticipate their entrances as school teachers.


Meg Steedle, and Cheryl Koski (who play the sisters Madge & Millie) rehearse as Beth Ritson readies for her entrance as their mother, Flo, before most of them go to the picnic.




[Full article]
22:21
Picnic Cast & Crew Readies for Tech »Inside Triad Stage

The set for Picnic under construction.



The technical director, Christian Young, checks something off a list.


The crew have cut out two seats from the house right seating area in order to make a door for Mrs. Potts's house.




Nick & Scout explain to Julie how scrollers (a fixture attached to the front of lighting instruments that has color scroll through at the lighting designer's choice) get power from that little black box.


Nick attaches a scroller.

Nick prepares to attach another scroller with help from Julie.


Photo taken on Wednesday.


Scout coils cable.


Jenny the carpenter nails in shingles as Christian the technical director rigs some wires.



Rich Whittington, our Managing Director, conducts the company meeting we had earlier this week.


Julie, Jenny, and Kalyn listen at the company meeting.


Then they listen to people introduce themselves.


Beth Ritson as Flo Owens in Picnic.


Meg Steedle tries to dodge explaining what getting romantic means to her mom played by Beth Ritson.


Preston watches as Lorraine (Mrs. Potts) consoles herself with a pair of boots.


Meredith Riggans spreads "dirt" made from glue and sawdust on the stage floor.




Amy Da Luz plays Rosemary Sydney.


Chatting about Greensboro history before rehearsal begins.


Amy Da Luz, Matthew Carlson, and Cheryl Koski listen to Preston recount part of the violent history of Greensboro.


The marketing staff interviews Meg Steedle (and others) on video for our forthcoming website addition.




[Full article]
22:21
Picnic in Tech Rehearsals »Inside Triad Stage
The moon rises above the buildings downtown during tech rehearsals for Picnic.


Beth Ritson, Cheryl Koski, & Lorraine Shackelford relax as an entrance is restaged with light.


Preston Lane, Kate Muchmore, Sasha, and Kelsey Hunt watch from the seats.


Kate Muchmore (assistant director), Howard Jones (scene designer), & John Wolf (lighting designer).


Emily Mark as Christine Schoenwalder.


Meg Steedle as Madge asks for her cue.



Preston at tech notes at the end of the day following rehearsal. Tech notes happen after every technical rehearsal and performance preview. All the designers, the director, and the crew get together to go over what needs to be fixed, changed, adjusted, reblocked, refocused, hemmed, or painted.


Amy Peter (props master) talks with Tom McCoy (master carpenter).


Amy creates prop newspapers with actual articles from 1950s newspapers. You will be able to see Amy's handywork on display in our lobby.


Lighting design by John Wolf.


David Smith (sound designer) talks with Preston Lane (director) as Meg listens.


Joe Tippett as Hal relaxes as lights are adjusted.


Amy Peter & Howard Jones wait to redress the laundry lines with new linens.



Donna Bradby (choreographer) watches the dance scene.



Amy da Luz & Jim Crawfor relax as sound & lights are adjusted for their scene.



Beth, Lorraine, & Amy.



Beth & Preston ponder milk.



Christina & Kate search for a snap.



Preston sometimes sits that close in order to get an audience's perspective from the front row and also to check sight lines.



Preston & Beth.


Meg Steedle & Beth Ritson.








[Full article]
22:21
Picnic Rehearsals Begin »Inside Triad Stage
On the first day of rehearsal for William Inge's Picnic, Preston explains a couple important features of the set designed by Howard Jones.

This is the second time in Triad Stage's history that we have produced a William Inge play. (The first being Bus Stop back in the fall of 2004.)

Kelsey Hunt, the costume designer, explains the overall neutral color palatte and the reasoning behind her choice.

Here is a sample of one of her renderings AND to see more you should go to the
"Closer Look" page on our website.


Cheryl Koski (playing Millie) and Beth Ritson (playing her mother, Flo) react to questions about the script during tablework.


Amy Da Luz (playing Rosemary) and Jim Crawford (playing Howard) listen to Preston explain his thoughts on their tenuous relationship.


Phillip Eggers (playing Bomber) and Cheryl Koski (playing Millie) listen to others read during tablework.


Matthew Carlson (playing Alan) and Emily Mark (playing Christine Schoenwalder) listen to others read, as well.


Joe Tippett (playing Hal) and Megh Steedle (playing Madge).


Preston on Inge: "I found in his work an authentic regional voice, a writer who places his work firmly in a specific context but reaches far beyond his small corner of Kansas toward the universal and the true."



Various pieces of Picnic on the rehearsal table including the model, an old playbill from a Picnic revival, the definitive Inge biography by Ralph Voss.


Howard Jones's scene renderings.


Visit our website for more info:



[Full article]
22:21
PostScript for Picnic & Splendor in the Grass »Inside Triad Stage
We had our PostScript for Picnic last Thursday. This is where we invite the audience to ask questions of the actors' choices and experiences with the play. We always hear very funny and insightful comments from the cast. For example, the audience becomes enthralled so much with the exchange between Rosemary & Howard that people begin vocalizing suggestions to the actors such as, "Why don't you slap him?!"

We also regularly host the post-performance talkback in our Upstage Cabaret, where you can order soda, beer, or wine while you enjoy the talkback.

If you are interested in a season pass for the PostScript series click here.

(photos by Charles Howard)

~


We will also be showing Splendor in the Grass in our Upstage Cabaret on our 3rd floor. William Inge won an Oscar for this 1961 screenplay.


Price: $7.00
Date: Monday, September 21, 2009
Time: 7:30pm - 10:00pm
Location: Triad Stage's UpStage Cabaret
232 South Elm Street
Greensboro, NC



[Full article]
22:21
Providence Gap Reading, a picnic & more in Boone »Inside Triad Stage

Last week we had a reading for Providence Gap up in Boone for the Appalachian Festival, the new Preston Lane & Laurelyn Dossett collaboration that we will producing on our mainstage in June of 2010.

The playwright and the composer talk to the cast during rehearsal for the reading.

Cinny Stickland reading Levathy Lovell.

Laurelyn Dossett singing "Lady of the Mountain."

Yours truly reading the stage directions.

Laurelyn Dossett on banjo with Christine Morris and Noah Duvarney reading.


Jeff West, Katy Sink, & TJ Austin.


Josh Yoder, TJ Austin, & Lee Spencer reading Nurvel Greene, Chance Presnell, & Jackson Johnson.

Josh Yoder & Ginny Lee.

Patrons persusing the dramaturgical boards in the Valborg lobby before a performance of Oleanna.
App. Heights where we where we resided and where we had a tech picnic.

John Wolf giving some straight talk.

Boone boys who helped us with the production: Grayson, Marshall, & Jason.

Sean Dumm on the Barby!


Carrie Cook & Lee Spencer.

Emily Mails surprised, but still very cool.

Christy Wright & Ginny Lee.

Preston says, "I ain't a-goin' on no gosh darn picnic!
I'm a-goin' to do some office chair calisthenics instead."
~





[Full article]
22:21
Questions answered--from the actors. »Inside Triad Stage
Ginny Lee and Lee Spencer, the actors from Oleanna, answer questions asked by Drew Barker.



Ginny Lee


DB: Because it was first performed in 1992 and mislabeled an “issue play,” why do think Oleanna is still relevant for audiences today?

GL: Well, at the forefront recently we have the Sotormayor confirmation hearings, which are completely relevant. Not only that she is a woman, but a Latina who has openly expressed her opinion that with her experiences as a Latina woman she might be able to reach better conclusions than a white man.

I think this play will always be relevant, not only within the political realm or issues of sex, but because it speaks to the everyday trials we go through as human beings as far as power and miscommunication go (within the workplace, relationships, etc). It's inescapable.


DB: What do you remember from your first play ever?

GL: My first play - I was in Annie with the Ashe County Little Theatre when I was 4 yrs. old. My mom played Miss Hannigan and I was third nameless orphan from the left. I remember loving every thing about being there, and being a little jealous that I couldn't be in all the numbers. During rehearsal I would crawl onto a table during "It's a Hard Knock Life" and act like I was scrubbing the table, I think in hopes that someone would see how dedicated (and good) I was and put me in the number. Oh man, I had put that out of my memory, until just now. :)

DB: What was your favorite book in college?


I was reading tons of plays in college and I was blown away by Titus Andronicus. The audacity of the action, the images, and the language amazed me.

DB: Who was your favorite teacher and why?

The one that had the earliest impact on me was my third grade teacher, Mrs. Francis. I think why I loved her so, was because she engaged our imagination--there was a tree house in her room, I still remember the stories I wrote for her, she taught us about Egypt and the pyramids which was so magical to me, AND she came to class dressed as a witch on Halloween and even though we suspected it was her she wouldn't let on and played the role all day, even going as far to write in squiggly letters on the blackboard.


~


Lee Spencer


DB: Because it was first performed in 1992 and mislabeled an “issue play,” but why do think Oleanna is still relevant for audiences today?

LS: Good writing stands the test of time. The play is well crafted and the conflict is so emotionally charged on both sides that it continues to make for an intriguing, albiet uncomfortable for some, evening of theater. People fighting desperately for what they want, what they need, is at the heart of all great pieces and that is why all the great works continue to be performed. I would put David Mamet material in that category of great playwrights.

DB: What do you remember from your first play ever?

LS: My first play ever was Vonnegut's Welcome to the Monkey House in high school. To be honest my only vivid memory is of walking onstage, saying these lines I had memorized, and hearing the audience laugh in response. The feeling is hard to describe but for better or worse I got the acting bug and have been unable to shake it for 30 years.

DB: What was your favorite book in college?

LS: My favorite book in college that was required reading was Uta Hagen's Respect for Acting --a sort of the Bible for all acting students at that time. My favorite non-required work I read at that time was and continues to be Of Human Bondage by Sommerset Maugham.

DB: Who was your favorite teacher and why?

LS: My favorite high school teacher was Dan Seaman because of his encouragement and his infectious love of the theater. My favorite college teacher was Thelma Carter at the American Academy of Dramatic Arts, because of her tremedous support and encouragement in my abilities. My favorite acting coach from the L.A. years was Bob Morrissey, himself a full-time working character actor who instilled in me the thought that ultimately I have to be my own judge of my work, and to guide my own career because no one else will for me.

~

To find out more about this production of Oleanna click here.


[Full article]
22:21
Tartuffe is Open & Running Away with Laughs »Inside Triad Stage
Richard Whittington & Preston Lane, the co-founders of Triad Stage, give the Opening Night curtain speech.

Our Opening Night audience--a very full house.

Opening Night of Tartuffe, Thursday June 11th.

Eric Moss painted live in the lobby before & after the show.

Russ, Cana, Emily & Kelsey.

Overlooking opening night festivities are Franny, Emily, Scout, Nick & David Jr.

Josh Yoder as Cleante reads the prop paper in the stairwell.

TJ chillaxin' in the electrics room (aka the elevator room).

Chris Morris sittin' a spell between her bookended scenes.

Assistant Stage Managers Mary Beth, Sam, & Molly wave as Jason Scott Quinn waves his baguette.



[Full article]
22:21
Tartuffe Tech photos »Inside Triad Stage
Actors & director stand in silhouette during tech.



There are a lot of funny entrances & exits...

Heather Vandergriff, the draper, works on Mariane's skirt.

Emily Robertson, the assistant costume designer, stands with a wig in our greenroom.

Costume renderings with image research by Kelsey Hunt.

This photo was taken the first day of rehearsal (May 13th), and that is when the designers who can be present explain their designs to the company.

Here Kelsey Hunt explains the nuances of Orgon's trousers. In some of the other photos you can see how the costumes turned out, but if you want to see the rest of the costumes you're gonna have to come see the show...


Chris Morris as Madame Pernelle.


I am seen here cutting dramaturgical boards for the lobby that have embellished truths. (wink)

Josh Yoder (as Cleante) & TJ Austin (as Damis) converse in character.


Jason Scott Quinn (as Loyale) inspects a snack.
(He's a snacker.)

What are they all looking at??

Even Preston is trying to see...





[Full article]
22:21
Tech in Boone for Oleanna »Inside Triad Stage
We are teching are rehearsing Oleanna in Boone for the Appalachian Summer Festival.

Cumulus clouds pile up over the mountain tops boasting how beautiful Boone can be in the summer.

King Street in downtown Boone.
~
John Wolf, the lighting designer, directs focus. He has designed the lights in such a way that highlights the combative nature of the play. He alludes to a boxing ring, but utilizes very neutral color.
___________

John Wolf, the man of light & shadow.




Nick Hussong, the master electrician, helps John with focus.

On genies and on ladders, in the air and on the ground, Nick Hussong is everywhere.


David Smith, the sound designer, reveals to Carrie Cook the implementation of his theory of "mid-side playback." The side speakers are hung in the middle of the house in such a way (pointed away from the stage so as to bounce off the back walls) which creates more a sense of a real environment.

Scout, the assistant stage manager, listens as Amy Peter explains to Lee Spencer how his computer is more than a prop.

Ginny Lee, Preston Lane, & Lee Spencer pause during tech rehearsal.



Preston Lane ponders the magic of theatre.

John Wolf is seen here wiring rope lights for the seating we have placed upstage.

Jennie Lynn, carpenter and sometime painter, touches up the set's ceiling.

Carrie Cook (sound supervisor), Amy Peters (props master), & Randy McMullen (scene designer) look over the phone and the Tele-Q-- a device that makes the phone ring independently and whenever we want.



Emily Mails, our cheery stage manager.




JOHN: ...that's my job don't you know...
CAROL: What is?
JOHN: To provoke you.




[Full article]
22:21
Tech into Previews »Inside Triad Stage
We invite you to come see William Inge's Picnic because...


There will be dancing...



There will be drinking...




There will be heartache...



There will be accusations...



And there will be romance.



Amy da Luz plays Rosemary Sydney.

Beth Ritson as Flo Owens is asked by Joe Tippett playing Hal Carter if she would "mind a little fire?"

Matthew Carlson as Alan Seymour.


During a rehearsal, Preston Lane sits and chats with Meg Steedle and Joe Tippett.


Linda Carlisle, the Secretary of Cultural Resources for North Carolina, volunteered to help in the box office on our first preview night as a part of the national initiative United We Serve.

Here is Ms. Carlisle helping with will call tickets.


This is Sherry Barr, director of Audience Services.


Here is Amanda Waterhouse and Jennifer Blank who help bartend but also work respectively as a box office associate and adminstrative intern.






[Full article]
22:21
Technically Talking (about sod) and the Season Pass Drawing »Inside Triad Stage


  • The News & Record has run an article about the sod we have used on the set for Picnic. Follow the link for the article and photos here: http://www.news-record.com/content/2009/09/09/article/picnic_gets_a_perfect_setting_real_dead_grass




  • Also, if you want to be updated on Facebook about the goings-on at Triad Stage you should become a fan @ Triad Stage's Facebook page.




  • Once again our website also has plenty of info that can get you to the theatre or find out about our season pass drawing! When you buy a season pass between now and Sept. 27, you will be entered into a drawing (along with all current season pass holders) to win a free night's stay @ the O. Henry or Proximity hotels.



  • Our Tecnically Talking talkback occurred this past Tuesday, where the designers the directors get together and answer questions from the audience about the play. Pictured above are myself, Howard Jones (scene designer), David Smith (sound designer), Preston Lane (director), Kelsey Hunt (costume designer), and John Wolf (lighting designer). Photos by Charles Howard.


    Howard Jones talks about the sod and how he was inspired by the artist David Hockney when it came to designing the sky.



    Kelsey Hunt describes the reasoning behind the neutral choices for costume colors.



    David Smith describes how he sampled George Winston, but reconfigured the piano music to mold the moments of the play.



    A patron peruses the dramaturgy boards in the lobby that include the prop newspaper created by Amy Peter.



    The theater at rest.
    (But just imagine all the seats filled.)




    [Full article]
    22:21
    The Laramie Project: Ten Years Later, An Epilogue »Inside Triad Stage
    The Paper Lantern Theatre Company of Winston-Salem organized a reading (one of over 150 readings done by theater companies all over the country) of
    The Laramie Project: Ten Years Later.
    The reading was done at the Twin City Stage this past Monday, October 12, 2009.
    YES! Weekly also ran a review for the event which you can read here.

    The 1998 murder of Matthew Shepard in Laramie, Wyoming captured the nation's attention. A month after Matthew's death, the members of Tectonic Theater Project traveled to Laramie to record how this event affected the town. From their interviews, they wrote the play The Laramie Project, which has become one of the most performed plays in America in the last decade. The company later made the play into a film for HBO. The epilogue, Laramie Project: Ten Years Later, follows up on the tragic events of 1998 and includes the first interview with Matthew's mother, as well as the first interview with his killer. It also examines the lasting effects of such a crime on this small town in America. Tectonic Theatre has invited over 150 theaters, in all 50 states and across the globe, to participate in this one-night-only event simultaneously on October 12, the anniversary of Matthew's death.
    ~
    (All photos by Kevin Davie.)
    Amy da Luz, director that night and founding member of Paper Lantern Theatre Company, introduces the play.

    Drew Rush center, Business Manager of Triad Stage, and Jeff West right (a sometimes actor of ours) read from the Laramie script.

    (All photos by Kevin Davie.)


    Our own Preston Lane also read that night as well.

    At the end of the reading Molly McGinn played a wonderfully evocative song dedicated to Matthew Shepherd entitled "Scarecrow." Though the song was orginally written by Melissa Etheridge, Molly gave it her natural grit & passion and made it sound even better.

    The whole night was affirmation of how telling American stories about can affect communites and the nation. Myths were debunked and voices were heard both with heartening and disheartening clarity concerning how hate crimes tear people apart and bring them together.



    [Full article]
    22:21
    We have a new Facebook page! »Inside Triad Stage
    "OMG, have you heard?"

    We're blowing up all over Facebook, so don't get shown up by your friends or kids-- YOU be the one to say: "You're not a fan of Triad Stage on Facebook?!"


    (click on the above link)




    [Full article]
    22:21
    A VISIT TO THE PLEASURE DOME: KENNETH ANGER AT P.S.1 »Dead Pictures

    I recently vacationed in New York, and visited P.S.1 Contemporary Art Center's Kenneth Anger exhibition. The installation, located in the second floor Kunsthalle, focuses entirely on eight of the nine films in the maestro's Magick Lantern Cycle (1947-1980). A conscientious effort has been made to recreate the atmosphere of Anger's films, so that visitors will feel they have indeed entered the director's Pleasure Dome. Fireworks (1947), Inauguration of the Pleasure Dome (1954), Scorpio Rising (1963), Invocation of My Demon Brother (1969), and Lucifer Rising (1980) cast their spells on large video screens, while Puce Moment (1949), Eaux d'Artifice (1953), and Kustom Kar Kommandos (1965) are disappointingly relegated to much smaller monitors, impairing the overall impact. (Fireworks and Inauguration unreel in separate, curtained rooms.) The biggest letdown, however, is the glaring omission of Rabbit's Moon (1950), either in its original or condensed form. The films' scores occasionally overlap, but fortunately this is a minor distraction. P.S.1's exhibition employs red and silver vinyl partitions, as well as coverings for walls and floor, and appropriately ritualistic lighting. Well-worn copies of the Hollywood Babylon books, as well as Alice Hutchison's 2004 Anger monograph and Jack Hunter's 2002 essay collection on the filmmaker, Moonchild, are available for perusal. All prints are apparently drawn from Fantoma's recent two-disc restorations. The installation, which began February 22nd of this year and ends September 14th, 2009, is organized by Susanne Pfeffer.


    [Full article]
    22:21
    ALL MEN SUSPECT THEIR WIVES: THE KISS BEFORE THE MIRROR »Dead Pictures
    James Whale is best remembered for such classic fantasias as Frankenstein (1931), The Old Dark House (1932), The Invisible Man (1933), and Bride of Frankenstein (1935), though he himself preferred his 1936 version of the venerable musical Show Boat. One of Whale's more obscure efforts is 1933's The Kiss Before the Mirror, William Anthony McGuire's adaptation of a Ladislaus Fodor play, which the director remade a mere five years later as Wives Under Suspicion. Unlike the public domain retread, the original is currently unavailable on home video, but TCM premiered a lovely fullscreen print of this pre-Code melodrama on April 26, 2009.

    Universal wanted Charles Laughton and Claudette Colbert for the leads, but they were otherwise occupied, so Frank Morgan and Nancy Carroll were loaned from Paramount. Morgan stars as Viennese attorney Paul Held, who defends his friend Walter Bernsdorf (Paul Lukas) against the charge of murdering Bernsdorf's adulterous wife Lucie (Gloria Stuart, whose early exit from the film was considered startling for its time). Bernsdorf follows Lucie to the home of her nameless bachelor lover (Walter Pidgeon), then shoots her through a window as she disrobes in silhouette. (Pidgeon also exits the picture at this point, never to return, and--for all the chatter of betrayal--seems largely forgotten.) Morgan's politically-incorrect defense strategy is that Bernsdorf was driven to the point of madness by his wife's infidelity, and thus was not responsible for his actions. Bernsdorf's first inkling that his wife was seeing another man occurred less than an hour before the murder, when the devoted professor canceled his evening lecture to return home to his beloved, only to endure her look of disgust at him, in stark contrast to her earlier emotion, as he kissed her neck and shoulders at her makeup mirror. ("You've ruined my hairdress!" she rants.) Lukas is believably anguished as he recounts the frenzy that overtook him, a frenzy immediately infecting Held.

    Most appropriately for a film with "mirror" in its title, Held and Bernsdorf, as well as their wives, reflect one another. It transpires that the lawyer's spouse Maria (Carroll) is also unfaithful to her husband, though she feels considerably more guilt about her affair than the late Lucie. As Held observes her making herself up in the looking-glass, he suddenly realizes the truth about his wife, later trailing the anxious woman to a rendezvous with her lover (Donald Cook). Held's scheme, which he confesses to the horrified Bernsdorf, is to get the professor acquitted on grounds of temporary insanity, then immediately murder Maria. "All men suspect their wives," the enlightened Held assures the professor. Significantly, both men are considerably older than their spouses, while the women's lovers are closer to their own ages. Held already seems to be feeling the press of time, as he praises the opera Faust for its idea that "one could look forward to the years with such complacency if one knew that at the age of seventy, a kindly devil would touch him on the shoulder and make him young once more."

    Maria attempts to break off her affair with her (nameless) paramour, while being driven around the bend by her obsessed husband. Held requests that she be present in the courtroom when he delivers his closing address ("I want to see your face when I speak"), and a memorable summation it is. His antics are enough to get any attorney ejected from the courtroom--especially when Held flourishes a revolver to Maria's terrified shrieks--but the largely male jury rules in the professor's favor, and the lawyer finally regains his senses. (Bernsdorf spends much of Held's speech hiding his face in his hands, and makes an amusing contrast to the hysterical counselor.)

    The Kiss Before the Mirror functions as a footnote in Whale's horror and science fiction cycle. The countryside set through which Bernsdorf trails his wife is cannibalized from Frankenstein's exteriors, while the accused's cell suspiciously resembles the room in which Colin Clive kept Boris Karloff. Karl Freund's camera is appropriately Expressionistic, as befits the greatest of all German cinematographers; particularly memorable is the scene in which the eerily-lamplit Morgan explains his mad scheme to Lukas, as well as a 360-degree pan of the courtroom as Morgan delivers his closing argument. Stuart, who found renewed fame many decades later as the octogenarian Kate Winslet in James Cameron's Titanic (1997), returns from The Old Dark House, and would later play Claude Rains' fiancee in The Invisible Man.

    Whale's film fairly sizzles with sexuality, as Morgan harps on Lucie's disrobing in her lover's bedroom as often as the judge and the censors let him get away with it. When the distraught Maria asks Held if Lucie's murder is justifiable "because she loved someone," Held counters that it is "because she lied." "That's no reason why she should've been shot down like a mad dog," Maria protests, to which he smoothly replies, "That, my dear, is a matter of taste." The director works in a homosexual newspaper sketch artist for between-the-lines followers of his films, while Held's office manager Hilda (Jean Dixon) is a definite free spirit who makes veiled reference to her randy private life: questioned by Maria as to whether she's "a lawyer or a new kind of woman," Hilda responds that she's a lawyer by day, but "at night--well, you might be surprised." (Such forthrightness is not to be found in the Wives remake, which recasts the cuckolded lawyer as a District Attorney.) Whale packs all this outrageousness into an economical sixty-eight minutes. The Kiss Before the Mirror is eminently worthy of DVD release, and hopefully TCM's screening will facilitate this.



    [Full article]
    22:21
    PART OF THEIR WORLD: PHASE IV »Dead Pictures

    Ecological revenge constitutes one of the most lurid and magnificent of film subgenres, visiting vicarious vengeance on mankind for its desecration of Terra Mater. Whether the agent of retribution is a reawakened dinosaur or an army of tarantulas, humanity must pay in full for its transgressions against the planet. From land development to runaway pollution and nuclear testing, the eternal penalty is blood, straight from the tap.

    Consider the avenging ant. The power of this mighty soldier has been well-represented cinematically by the Marabunta invasion of Byron Haskin's The Naked Jungle (1953) and--more memorably--by the atomic mutations of Gordon Douglas' Them! (1954). Saul Bass examined the world of these (anti-) social insects in 1974 with Phase IV, which Paramount, in association with Legend Films, has recently released as a no-frills DVD. The picture, which took the Grand Prix at the following year's International Festival of Science Fiction Films in Trieste, was a commercial failure in its time, but a cult has steadily grown around it in the intervening years, and Phase IV is ripe for rediscovery.

    Bass, best known for his incredible title sequences for Otto Preminger's The Man With the Golden Arm (1955) and Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho (1960), later directed the Academy-Award-winning short Why Man Creates (1968), but Phase IV remains his only feature. It is an experimental work, absorbing the surreal vision of 1972's Oscar-netting pseudo-documentary, The Hellstrom Chronicle (along with its microcameraman, Ken Middleham), while adding a dash of (then-) New Wave style. An intentionally vague interstellar event has somehow advanced the intelligence of various ant species, who put aside their traditional antagonisms to evolve strategies against human beings in the American Southwest. Biologist Ernest Hubbs (Nigel Davenport) and information specialist James Lesko (Michael Murphy) investigate the disappearance of the insects' primary predators, as well as the mysterious erection of several eerie anthill towers (recalling the 2001 monolith), from their hive-like experimental station in the Arizona desert. Several families have already been forced out of the area by the insects, and the creatures stage an assault on the remaining Eldridge family's farm, ingeniously floating--like soldiers on a raft--on a piece of bark across the fuel ditch the family has dug as a defense, and devouring the very structure of the family's house until it collapses. The ants also attack the station, forming a chain of insects to short-circuit the truck powering the biosphere's generator.

    The Eldridges' car is totaled in the chaos after ants invade the vehicle, and the farmer, his wife, and their farmhand are poisoned by the defensive insecticide shower the scientists rain upon the creatures. Only their granddaughter Kendra (Lynne Frederick) survives, rescued by Hubbs and Lesko as they emerge in their protective suits and insect-eyed goggles to inspect the carnage. The girl goes ballistic when she spots Hubbs' test ants in their glass maze, shattering the glass and causing Hubbs to be badly bitten. As his arm swells and his health--physical and mental--deteriorates, the creatures prepare for the next move in their human-insect competition, a game the smug, technocratic Hubbs savors. "We challenge with yellow chemistry," he says admiringly of the insecticide-adapted army, "and they respond with yellow creatures."

    Davenport's performance of the lead scientist is pitch-perfect in its detached ruthlessness, recalling his military survivalist in Cornell Wilde's No Blade of Grass (1970). Murphy offers an effective emotional counterpoint, the warm American to Davenport's cold Anglo, and Frederick is appropriately understated as the withdrawn Kendra. Mayo Simon, who scripted everything from Judy Garland's final film, I Could Go On Singing (1963), to the underrated Futureworld (1976), here turns in his best work, exercising considerable restraint and sustaining an increasingly dark mood of meditative ambiguity. Too few science fiction films since the Seventies have explored ideas, but Phase IV is actually about something: it's ecology at its artistic deepest, outlining a grave new world in which mankind is but a minor inconvenience--mere human insects, as it were--in the Great Chain of Things. The film offers an ironic spin on the eternal battle of the sexes, as Hubbs realizes that, in order for the ants to be defeated, their queen must be destroyed. "It is she who speaks," the delirious man intones, but he is too far gone in his faith in scientific know-how to realize that she must be obeyed. An ant matriarchy is rising as the human patriarchy collapses like all great civilizations. "We knew then we were being changed and made part of their world," Lesko observes in voiceover as he and Kendra somberly await their new roles at film's end. "We didn't know for what purpose, but we knew we would be told."

    Dick Bush's photography coats the screen in eerily vivid Technicolor (especially striking are the saturated blues of the biosphere at night), while Middleham's microcameras capture the insects patrolling their earth tunnels like cave warriors in some sword-and-sandal epic. One astonishing sequence--a pan of rows of dead yellow ants that the surviving blacks have arranged--is unexpectedly moving in its formalization of ritual and respect. Perhaps the film's most celebrated image--and the one referenced in the picture's deceptively tawdry poster--is the shot of ants emerging from three holes in a corpse's hand, a powerful hommage to a similar moment in Luis Bunuel and Salvador Dali's Un Chien Andalou (1929). In hindsight, it's a shame there's no title sequence for Bass to work his wonders on, but the absence of one is certainly in keeping with Phase IV's understated atmosphere. According to Jay Cocks' Time review (October 14, 1974), Bass deleted the film's original ending--"a montage of hallucinatory images suggesting man's destiny after the ants have had their way"--because it was "too abstract." A fair amount of computerized psychedelia is present at the climax, however, and the picture's closing shot of the rising sun is effectively elegiac. Brian Gascoigne's score (realized in conjunction with David Vorhaus and supplemented by Stomu Yamashta's montage music) is anxiously ambient, occasionally employing fretless bass to acrobatic effect.

    The 84-minute film is presented in 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen, an approximation of its 1.85:1 theatrical ratio. Bass died in 1996, but the main actors are still with us, so it's regrettable that no audio commentary is provided. For that matter, there's no trailer, either, even though one is available on Volume Three of Synapse's 42nd Street Forever: Exploitation Explosion compilation; Paramount and Legend's omission is frankly inexplicable. The transfer reveals occasional grain (especially evident in the amazing montage of Lesko--resembling an extra from George Romero's The Crazies [1973]--scattering insecticide on his anguished trek to the queen ant's chamber), but is scarcely a distraction. Paramount's DVD, which contains a dozen chapter stops, is a definite improvement over the label's earlier videotape version, but the absence of supplemental material is a major disappointment. Perhaps, one day, a label like Criterion will treat Phase IV to the definitive edition that this film deserves.


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    22:21
    SCARRED FOR LIFE: HOUSE OF DARK SHADOWS »Dead Pictures

    The editor of Screem devoted the most recent issue to "Films That Scarred Us for Life." Contributors' examples included the usual suspects (The Exorcist [1973], Jaws [1975]), as well as several surprises (Chitty Chitty Bang Bang [1968], The Day of the Locust [1974]). The first movie I remember that frightened me half out of my wits was Dan Curtis' House of Dark Shadows, the producer/director's 1970 revision of his cult soap opera (1966-1971). I was so unhinged, to be perfectly frank, that my mother and grandmother had to remove my screeching five-year-old self from the theatre screening the picture. I still vividly recall trying to settle down in the lobby, and it was not until the summer of 1976 that I saw the full film--minus the usual television edits and interruptions--on the CBS Late Movie. The scene that most traumatized me was the moment in House when Barnabas Collins (Jonathan Frid) ages a century-and-a-half after being overdosed with the anti-vampirism vaccine the lovelorn Dr. Julia Hoffman (Grayson Hall) inflicts upon him in a jealous fit. (The undead one's fallen hard for Collinwood governess Maggie Evans [Kathryn Leigh Scott], whom he believes to be the reincarnation of his lost love Josette.) The image of this alarmingly ancient creature--like lots of children, I thought the elderly were ugly enough to raise haints in a graveyard--strangling the spiteful doctor, then biting his beloved Maggie, was too much for my nerves, which were becoming progressively raw as the film unfolded. I had never found the ABC series to be so intense, and, of course, it wasn't. MGM's feature release upped the violence ante considerably and emphasized Barnabas' romantically ruthless villainy, while writers Sam Hall and Gordon Russell drastically compressed several months' worth of their original storyline. Events, in truth, hurtle past at breakneck speed, occasionally to the point of incomprehension, but, quite happily, the picture never fails to thrill me, even if it no longer provokes a screaming spell.

    Cretinous handyman Willie Loomis (John Karlen), convinced that the legendary Collins jewels are hidden in the family mausoleum, unwittingly liberates the slumbering vampire from his hundred-and-fifty year confinement. Barnabas, posing as an obscure English cousin in those pre-googling Seventies, spends his time restoring the "Old House" on the Collins estate and courting Maggie, when he's not vampirizing the rest of the cast. Dr. Hoffman, who's researching the Collins family, realizes that Barnabas is undead when he casts no reflection in her compact mirror, and struggles to reverse his curse before giving him the business after learning the object of his affections. His handsome visage rejuvenated by a sanguinary feast, Barnabas plans to wed the entranced Maggie in the family's abandoned chapel, but her artist boyfriend Jeff Clark (Roger Davis) intervenes with a crossbow at the altar, accidentally shooting Loomis in the back. Loomis, who also adores Maggie, manages to stake Barnabas before he expires, and Clark finishes the job. You can't keep a good vampire down, however, and Barnabas turns into a bat after the credits.

    Test audiences complained of the film's pacing, so Curtis removed approximately twelve minutes of footage--material which, unfortunately, appears to be forever lost. (The 1971 sequel, Night of Dark Shadows, suffered a similar fate, losing an astonishing thirty-seven minutes.) The opening sequence, in which the titles distractingly appear over a fair amount of to-ing and fro-ing, excised a scene in which Maggie's charge, the bratty David Collins (David Henesey), pretends to have hanged himself in order to shock his governess. This action, coupled with the unwillingness of the boy's father Roger (Louis Edmonds) to locate the little monster, motivates Maggie to leave Collinwood for good. The studio feared that impressionable youngsters would either be distressed by, or attempt to duplicate, the child's prank, but the scene's removal obscures Maggie's reason for packing. (Barnabas, of course, convinces her to stay.) A conversation between Maggie and Jeff in the Collinwood greenhouse was also eliminated, causing further confusion. In the theatrical release, Barnabas tells Loomis that he's "done something for" Jeff, but the audience has no idea that Barnabas has recommended his rival to a local gallery so that the artist won't interfere with his plans for the governess. Finally, a sequence of Dr. Hoffman's associate, Professor Stokes (Thayer David), learning from Loomis that Barnabas is indeed undead was deleted, blunting the impact of the Van Helsing stand-in's later confrontation with the vampire at the Old House. (Stokes abruptly, almost randomly, sprouts fangs near the picture's climax, as does Roger Collins, while Roger's sister Elizabeth [Joan Bennett] retreats into a fugue state and disappears; ideally, House should have been two hours, not ninety-six minutes, long.)

    MGM released this film and its sequel on videocassette in 1990, following with a double feature laserdisc three years later (all are out-of-print), but the pictures have yet to debut on DVD. The original series is available on disc, as is its 1991 NBC resurrection. Fullscreen transfers of both 1.85:1 features, sporting the same ludicrously unconvincing day-for-night shots found in theatrical prints, appear from time to time on Turner Classic Movies. Warner Brothers has announced plans to revamp Dark Shadows for the big screen with director Tim Burton and actor Johnny Depp, so perhaps House and Night will eventually return, like Barnabas, from their home video limbo.

    I hereby apologize to all those patrons, including my family, whose enjoyment of House of Dark Shadows I spoiled nearly four decades ago.

    SOURCE

    Gross, Darren. "Closed Rooms in the House of Dark Shadows" and "Illuminating Night of Dark Shadows," Video Watchdog No. 40 (1997).



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    22:21
    SEANCE: SEDUCTIVE CINEMA »Dead Pictures

    The first time I heard Judith Evelyn speak in a motion picture--she was the drunken Eloise Crandall who goes over the railing in Joseph Pevney's delirious Female on the Beach (1955)--I was mildly disoriented. Ms. Evelyn seared her way into my adolescent consciousness as the deaf-mute ticket seller whose husband (Phillip Coolidge) frightens her to death in William Castle's audacious The Tingler (1959). The couple operate a revival house specializing in silent cinema, and, as Coolidge terrorizes her in a memorably surreal sequence, Ms. Evelyn emotes like a silent film actress who has escaped from the screen in the pair's downtown theatre (where, later, the titular creature, liberated by acid-dropping coroner Vincent Price, will make serious mischief). For this viewer, Ms. Evelyn embodies the essence of silent movie melodramatics, and listening to her voice in other pictures--she was often cast as an Agnes Moorehead surrogate--always rings a bit artificial. For her every moment in The Tingler, she is silent cinema, propelling Castle's film beyond its pre-Cronenbergian body politics and backwards into the great world, now lost to us, of soundless mysteries.

    James Card (1915-2000) was fortunate enough to experience these seminal shadow plays firsthand. As he remembers in the preface to his remarkable memoir, Seductive Cinema: The Art of Silent Film (Alfred A. Knopf, 1994 [319 pages]; reissued by University of Minnesota Press, 1999 [336 pages]), "When dialogue arrived and the silent film almost vanished, some of us were so infuriated that we actually refused, for many months, to even look at a talkie." The epic theatres of Card's Ohio youth, where moviegoers "dressed to watch Pola Negri, Gloria Swanson and Greta Garbo as they would to attend a concert of the Cleveland Orchestra," offer a striking contrast to today's shoebox cinemas and their backwards-baseball-capped spectators. Theatres were magical palaces, as opposed to places to gab, text, and tweet mindlessly while high school projectionists screen computer-generated images through projectors deliberately dimmed to lower electricity costs. Concession stands were unheard of in Card's youth, while showtimes were so obscure that audiences "did not know what had gone on before the moment of being seated" by white-gloved ushers. The atmosphere was one of ritual anticipation, and the author set out to possess the sacred images unfolding on the silver screen. In 1921, our cinephile, who admits his "own hell would be to have a projector and all the films [in the world] but no one around to see them with me," acquired a hand-cranked Keystone Moviegraph whose thirty-five-millimeter reels held a mere twenty-five feet. Several years later Card's erector-set ingenuity allowed him to progress to thousand-foot reels, and he was soon swapping items with his fellow fanatics. Providentially, a friend's city court judge father treated the Shaker Heights lads to material censored by the Buckeye State's morality guardians. (In an amusing sidenote, Card reveals that Jesus' intertitle in Cecil B. DeMille's 1927 King of Kings, "Let him who is without sin cast the first stone," was stricken from Illinois screenings because censors had forbidden the word "sin.") The excised material offered the author his first glimpse of "greasy man" Erich von Stroheim, the magnificent scoundrel and self-mythologizer whom Card considers a wildly overrated talent, and certainly a better actor than auteur. Soon Card was reading Kirk Bond's New York Times essay, "Lament for the Cinema Dead," which introduced him to Robert Weine's The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (1919). The author became obsessed with finding this film, a compulsion "that changed my life and shaped what would ultimately become a kind of career."

    Card began renting movies for his Theatre Guild, screening such masterpieces as Fritz Lang's 1924 Siegfried (the Knopf edition incorrectly dates this picture to 1922) in a high school auditorium. (Lang's film constitutes the first half of Die Nebulungen, but Card offers no word on whether he programmed its same-year companion piece, Kriemhild's Revenge.) The author finally tracked down a nitrate print of the elusive Caligari in 1933, screening it for "my family and a few of their dispproving friends"--as well as the projectionist, who hated the film. Card attended Western Reserve University, then ventured on a scholarship to the University of Heidelberg, where he gorged on Teutonic cinema. His procurement of a nine-point-five-millimeter Caligari exhausted his college funds. After a "somewhat misguided" attempt at filmmaking, Card journeyed to Danzig to document the beginnings of the Big One, running afoul of the Gestapo in the process. He made it back to America, directing a New Deal documentary, then wound up as "buck-ass [Army] private" at Astoria Studio, pulling KP with the likes of George Cukor.

    By war's end Card's collection had grown by leaps and bounds. After hiring on with Kodak, he boldly used his treasures as "bait" to finagle a position as assistant to the curator at Eastman House. Card scaled the ladder to become assistant director, and was soon a driving force in American film preservation, particularly when contrasted to Iris Barry, the Museum of Modern Art's first conservator, a crusty English critic primarily interested in British cinema. "Imagine," Card urges us, "a film archive headed by...John Simon, saving only those films considered worthy by its curator!" It would be a nightmare, unquestionably, and Barry's standards were especially severe, because the studios' bottom line was ownership, not preservation. Nitrate negatives would either disintegrate or cause spectacular blazes. While producers maintained positive prints for the purposes of remakes, the "tiniest whiff of decomposition" was enough to doom the negatives, thus ensuring the loss of thousands of films. A "no" from Barry was a death sentence for "unworthy" titles. Fortunately for posterity, Card--like his French counterpart, Henri Langlois--cast a wider net.

    Card was especially entranced by Herbert Brenon's 1924 version of Peter Pan, and one of the book's highlights is his decades-long quest for a copy. Card was introduced through an old soldier friend to Chum Morris, recording man for the Eastman Philharmonic. Morris had stumbled across a cache of lost treasures in the Eastman Theatre's student organists' screening room. Musicians had practiced with these prints, learning to play in time to the unspooling images. Peter Pan was only one among many movies stored in this forgotten section of the theatre; others included John S. Robertson's 1920 Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, which Morris showed to Card's "almost unendurable joy." The author convinced Morris that, if they didn't act to duplicate these rare pictures, they would be forever lost once safety experts learned of their existence and sent the reels to their oblivion in silver reclamation tanks. (Nitrate from X-ray film had been blamed for a 1929 Cleveland Clinic fire which killed over a hundred patients, though Card believes that poison war gas was being developed at the clinic and was the true culprit.) The men's scheme, which Card rationalizes as a combination of cultists' obsession and post-war liberation fervor ("For the allies," he writes, "the term 'liberation' came to be extended beyond a purely political sense") was derailed when Philharmonic conductor Guy Fraser Harrision remembered the Eastman cache, and one of its jewels, Henry Kolker's 1921 Disraeli, was resurrected for the theatre's silver anniversary.

    Card traces the origins of film preservation to Boleslav Matuzewski, royal court cinematographer to Tsar Nicholas II, an early subject of the Lumiere Brothers and "the world's most highly placed movie buff of the nineteenth century." Matuzewski documented everything from the Russian royal family to surgeries at the imperial hospitals, and in 1898 he published an exceedingly rare book, La Photographie Animee, describing his work and arguing for the historical and educational value of film. He and the Czar attempted to establish, in the City of Light, an international cinema archive chain, but endowments for this then-relatively-new art never materialized, and Matuzewski's archive fared poorly during the Bolshevik Revolution.

    The critic Burns Manthe also called, in 1921, for a cinema archive, but such as existed at the time contained specialized films held by the major military powers, in order to review battles and armaments. Finally, in the 1930's, Britain, France, and Germany combined their collections to form the FIAF (Federation Internationale des Archives de Film), and MoMA installed the merciless Ms. Barry. Card observes that, due to her cultural unfamiliarity with the country, Barry cared little for American pictures, and cites as an example her dismissal of Edward Venturini's The Headless Horseman (1922) as "difficult to view without boredom." The author admonishes her obliviousness to the film's employment of a Negro youth to rescue Ichabod Crane (Will Rogers) from a potentially lethal tarring-and-feathering (a scene, incidentally, nowhere to be found in Washington Irving), arguing that, for the time, "such noncaricatured use of a black character is without parallel in American movies." "For many years," Card notes disdainfully, "the British enjoyed castigating Americans for their cultural mistreatment of blacks--through the years before the wholesale immigration of Indians to the British Isles." He also takes to task American Marxists who considered any Soviet film, "however stupid, [to be] a splendid example of 'the people's art.'"

    Indeed, the author has plenty to say, little of it positive, about the business of film studies. Card challenges former music critic Siegfried Kracauer's thesis in From Caligari to Hitler (1947) that the bulk of German cinematic masterworks "harbor the sinister principle of National Socialism," and points out that Kracauer's most "ominous examples" were actually created by Jews. Herr Kracauer's low command of English, Card submits, "was just sufficiently obscure to make his points ambiguous enough to delight the pipe-smoking elbow-patch English professors of our universities. After all, ambiguity is their way of life." Semiology, Card insists, is even worse, leading him to wonder if its practitioners are "prisoners of inferiority...hid[ing] themselves in the jungles of jargon, where they are protected from the awful responsibility of lucidity."

    Card further notes that the crowds who attended silent films came not for the directors, but for the stars, and Seductive Cinema is rife with his reminiscences of such actresses as Joan Crawford and Ms. Swanson. He is, however, gentlemanly discreet regarding his relationship with Louise Brooks, the G.W. Pabst siren whose reputation Card resurrected in the Fifties. (He also restored and popularized their dismembered 1927 classic Pandora's Box.) Recalling his first encounter with Crawford, Card confesses that he didn't recognize "the short, freckle-faced girl who answered the door" of her home. Swanson he met at a department store luncheon for the actress, who was promoting her Forever Young dress line, and Card "had just sense enough not to tell her I'd been watching her in films ever since I was a little boy."

    The author examines the world of "Vanished Vamps," from Alice Hollister and Theda Bara to Negri and the bewitching Garbo. But women were not the only stars. Card evaluates the work of John Barrymore, wondering if the Great Profile's maddeningly erratic performances were the result of either "despair over [his] failing powers, or a deep doubt of the ultimate merit of what he had accomplished in his most serious efforts." (Barrymore's real passion was not acting, but illustration.) Card scrutinizes the oeuvre of DeMille and Josef von Sternberg, highlighting DeMille's obscure 1915 classic, The Cheat, and devotes several amusing pages to such irregular talents as Stroheim ("the realism touted in his films is nonexistent") and D.W. Griffith. He scolds scholars whose celebration of these artists is "so utterly irrational as to be comparable only to religious fanaticism."

    Of course, any discussion of Griffith will inevitably involve The Birth of a Nation (1915). "A dedicated woman seeking to improve the social climate in Rochester" requested from Eastman House a series on bigotry for a combined black and Jewish audience. Card gave it to her with both barrels, programming Griffith's adaptation of Thomas Dixon's notorious novel and play The Clansman (the film's original title), and incensing this mistress of uplift. "'When I came in here tonight,'" she told Card "in a voice trembling with emotion," "'I was an enemy of all censorship and felt that I would be ready to put my life on the line against any threat to freedom of speech or expression.' Her voice suddenly grew strong, and she almost shouted: 'But that film should never be shown anywhere to anyone!!'" Card recounts a visit he received by black community leaders, who informed him of the NAACP's staunch opposition to Birth's public exhibition, which he had scheduled for the Dryden Theatre Film Society. The delegation's leader told Card "that if I persisted in the plan to show the film, the chances were very good that I might not survive the protests of their more activist groups." Card defied their bullying, and the movie was screened without mischief. Griffith's epic was banned for a time in the author's home state, and MoMA was so intimidated by the picture's controversy that it withdrew Birth from circulation, but fortunately the film has not become extinct like too many other silents.

    Seductive Cinema is an exquisite appreciation of a glorious art that Card considers a "seance." The necromancy of pre-sound imagery endures, even if silent films will never attract more than a small audience. It is enough for those of us who remain core followers to communicate with the spirits of the Bijou. I've been privileged to attend several of these seances through the years, beginning with the late Lee Erwin's marvelous accompaniments, on a Robert Morgan pipe organ, to the exploits of Ms. Swanson and Rudolph Valentino at my city's downtown revival house. Every October this theatre screens Rupert Julian's 1925 version of The Phantom of the Opera, and every year I watch the images unreel to the virtuosity of a live keyboardist. I open myself to seduction, to "that delightful state that," in Card's words, "can come very close to one's private definition of love." His, surely, was one of the world's great romances, and Seductive Cinema is a compelling, and deeply moving, billet-doux.


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    22:21
    SONS OF NIGHT, AND MAIDS WHO LOVE THE MOON: MIDNIGHT MOVIES »Dead Pictures

    Alas, the lost pleasures of midnight, that witching hour when androgyne and undead walked the earth. The age seems as distant to us now as the silent cinema was then. There was a palpable sense of community, of shared secrets which only a subculture could comprehend and appreciate. Home video altered everything, and the delights we experienced in the darkness of the Bijou are these days relegated to the sanctity and solitude of our living rooms--ironically, the very place where many midnight cults began, absorbing--and, in extreme instances, emulating--the archetypal images beamed like spells through cathode rays. Those fantasias all had their mysteries to disclose, and, in the classic compendium Midnight Movies (Harper & Row, 1983 [338 pages]; revised edition Da Capo, 1991 [348 pages]), J. Hoberman and Jonathan Rosenbaum tell us how the message(s) ran.

    "If the origins of art are to be found in religion," the authors argue, "the movies are surely the universal secular faith of the twentieth century." Theatres are cathedrals, reinforcing the wisdom of sociologist Edgar Morin's dictum that "no one who frequents the dark auditoriums is really an atheist"--a word, incidentally, that Alain de Benoist identifies, in his magisterial On Being a Pagan, as being "practically meaningless" in the world of antiquity. Movie palaces were and remain polytheistic temples, for the gods and goddesses of the silver screen will never tolerate the totalitarianism of a lone desert deity. Divinity in the Bijou is diverse, and diversity is divine.

    Hoberman and Rosenbaum identify France's Cinema MacMahon, with its enormous lobby photos of the "Four Aces" (Fritz Lang, Joseph Losey, Otto Preminger, and Raoul Walsh), as the first theatre to harness the energy of cultism. Late shows were mounted at the Cinematheque Francaise and the Styx, which specialized in horror films, as well as at London's Electric Cinema and the Paris Pullman. In the United States, exhibitors programmed spook spectaculars and New Year's Eve revels. On the smaller screen, broadcasters needed to fill late-night air time, and motion pictures--particularly the killing kind--were an obvious solution. Human beings, hard-wired as we are for worship, require constant nourishment in our faith. How we hungered for the wee-hours appearances of Boris Karloff, Bela Lugosi, and all the other stars who seemed to come alive, like satellites and vampires, only at night. The counterculture vultures who subverted the Sixties were famished for visions that told them where they came from, what they were, and where they were going. Enter the underground. Andy Warhol was there in silver hair, as were George Romero's flesh eaters and John Waters' "filthiest people alive."

    The authors dissect these artists chapter by chapter, beginning with the seminal efforts of such dark angels as Drella and his collaborator Paul Morrissey, as well as Kenneth Anger, Ken Jacobs, and Jack Smith. New York's Bleecker Street premiered Smith's Flaming Creatures (1963) and other freak-outs, but filmmaker and critic Jonas Mekas claimed that the theatre's managers were worried that the "low quality of the underground" was tarnishing the Bleecker's reputation. His defiant response was a manifesto celebrating the "Baudelairean Cinemas" of the new auteurs ("a world of flowers of evil, of illuminations, of torn and tortured flesh") and their marginal appeal: "There is now a cinema for the few, too terrible and too 'decadent' for an 'average' man in any organized culture." Epater la bourgeoisie!

    Mexican mage Alexandro Jodorowsky "[asked] of film what most North Americans ask of psychedelic drugs." His self-styled "quest for sainthood" El Topo (1970) reversed the polarity of the New Western, cross-pollinating Sergio Leone and Sam Peckinpah with Panic Movement perpetrator Fernando Arrabal and rascal guru G.I. Gurdjieff. Jodorowsky, his ego inflating to heroically mammoth proportions, maintained that "'there was no difference between filming and reality," and expressed his "'hope [that] one day there will come Confucius, Mohammed, Buddha and Christ to see me. And we will sit at a table, taking tea and eating some brownies.'" John Lennon was so affected by the picture that he convinced his manager Allen Klein's Abkco Films to procure what would become the pivotal midnight headtrip. Ben Barenholtz was suitably impressed to book the movie for his Elgin Theatre, where El Topo played for six-and-a-half months, enrapturing pothead audiences but dividing critics. Vincent Canby belittled Jodorowsky as "an intellectual William Randolph Hearst," while Peter Schjeldahl proclaimed El Topo "a monumental work of filmic art."

    Unfortunately, Jodorowsky's subsequent release, 1973's The Holy Mountain (a work superior, I submit, to his preceding effort), was outshone at Cannes by Marco Ferreri's notorious La Grande Bouffe, and failed to duplicate El Topo's financial success. It had, however, an impressive sixteen-month run at Manhattan's Waverly. Jodorowsky, however, was never again able to pack so many seekers into theatres, and his following features--among them, the memorably gruesome Santa Sangre (1989)--faired poorly at the box office. Another film, 1980's Tusk, was barely even released, but the artist took everything in stride: "What I am doing is making my masterwork, which is my soul."

    Romero's Night of the Living Dead (1968) marked a well-acknowledged turning point in horror cinema. "Until the Supreme Court establishes clearcut guidelines for the pornography of violence," Variety complained in that year's October 16 number, "Night...will serve nicely as an outer-limit definition by example." The Sixties were coming apart at the seams, and Romero's Image Ten troupe were documenting the decade's self-destruction. Indeed, Hoberman and Rosenbaum opine that the picture's title "could have been a beatnik poet's metaphor for the 'CBS Evening News'" in what was supposedly "the most violent year in [U.S.] history since the end of the Civil War." Romero's zombies remain potent symbols of a disintegrating society, though the director's conception of his ghouls has evolved significantly over the years, culminating in the post-9/11 (re)visions of Land of the Dead (2005) and his "fictuality" reboot, Diary of the Dead (2007).

    Romero's first few follow-ups to Night--There's Always Vanilla (1971), Jack's Wife (1972), and The Crazies (1973)--made little critical or commercial impact, and masqueraded under various titles (e.g,. The Affair, Season of the Witch, and Code Name: Trixie). The Pride of Pittsburgh fared better with 1976's vampire character study Martin, which ran for forty-three weekends at the Waverly (where it faced stiff competition from David Lynch's Eraserhead). Romero hit paydirt again with Dawn of the Dead (1978), which shifted the Anubian siege from farmhouse to shopping mall. (Dawn, incidentally, was my first midnight movie experience, and it occurred--most appropriately--in a now-demolished mall.) Night has endured two remakes, while Dawn and Day of the Dead (1985) have weathered one each. The inevitable Crazies reworking is scheduled for winter release.

    Waters' "prison and...pleasure dome were American suburbia." The Pope of Trash's Pink Flamingos (1972), with its infamous coprophagic climax, threw down the transgressive gauntlet. The director's remark that "if someone vomits watching one of my films, it's like a standing ovation," may be wishful thinking, but there's no doubt that Waters touched a nerve in the damaged American psyche. The authors examine his stock players (Divine, Mink Stole, David Lochary, Edith Massey--several of whom spawned their own cults) and chronicle his celluloid misadventures from Hag in a Black Leather Jacket (1964) to Polyester (1980). Flamingos, of course, towers over Waters' oeuvre, flopping at midnight at New York's Orpheum, but playing for five nights a week for fifty-eight weeks at the Elgin, as well as forty-five weeks at the New Yorker. Inescapably, an element of danger crept into these screenings. "The audience was very bad," Barenholtz bemoaned. "[Flamingos] started getting Jersey and Brooklyn crowds, especially these gangs coming in and saying, 'Let's see the fag eat shit,' and throwing things at the screen.'" Waters went relatively mainstream with 1988's Hairspray, which became a Broadway musical and was itself filmed in 2007. The Court TV narrator is currently threatening a sequel.

    Barenholtz also booked Lynch's hallucinatory urban horror Eraserhead (1977) at the Cinema Village where, after a slow start, the picture scrambled brains for a year. The film additionally had significant runs at San Francisco's Waverly (ninety-nine weeks) and Los Angeles' NuArt (over three-and-a-half years). Rosenbaum points out that Night and Eraserhead are rooted in "the fortress mentality of the fifties, an attitude becoming more prevalent again today" in our balkanised culture. Hoberman identifies Lynch's film and Derek Jarman's Jubilee (1978) as "the only midnight movie[s] which [have] really addressed" the Seventies, and, in an intriguing footnote, the authors connect the industrial nightmare to New York's seminal punk bands--particularly Richard Hell and the Voidoids' anomic anthem, "(I Belong to the) Blank Generation," which they contend constitutes "a striking analogue to" the film. Eraserhead's mutant infant--whose special effects secrets Lynch, like a good magician, has never disclosed--reflects the double anxieties of delivery and abortion, and the film chillingly charts the dubious destiny of a decaying world.

    Lynch's Oscar-winning sophomore feature, The Elephant Man (1980), performed admirably at the ticket booth--scoring singularly well with inner-city audiences--even as efforts to resurrect Eraserhead at theatres screening the John Merrick biopic were unsuccessful. The director belly-flopped with Dune (1984), but returned to popular myth-making with Blue Velvet (1986), the Twin Peaks teleseries and film (1990-1992), and the magnificent Mulholland Dr. (2001). The authors ascertain "a modified pop Hinduism" in Lynch's work--he's also a prominent transcendental meditation advocate--and, of all the artists profiled in their volume, the Missoula, Montana Eagle Scout comes closest to approximating the spiritual surrealism of Senor Jodorowsky.

    Admittedly, no survey of midnight cinema is complete without an analysis of The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975). The gender-bending musical really took off at the Waverly, where disciple Louis Farese, Jr.'s so-called "counterpoint dialogue" (in the hallowed tradition of the Glass Teat's horror movie hosts) was picked up by his coreligionists, and soon spectators began arriving for the picture dressed as cast members. Toronto's Roxy preceded their late-night screenings with cartoons (Mighty Mouse, Heckle and Jeckle), while the Neptune accompanied Charle Chaplin shorts with the tight harmonies of the BeeGees. Frank-n-Furter personator Tim Curry's erotic energy galvanized viewers, and Hoberman and Rosenbaum proclaim him "the very embodiment of Andre Breton's polemical desire to 'change my sex as I change my shirt.'" Homosexual audiences flocked to the film, especially on Saturdays at San Diego's Strand. A newspaper article on the midnight spectacle attracted the attention of what cultist/ethnographer Margery Walker Pearce described as "hard-hat types" (not, apparently, of the Village People variety), who arrived at the theater shouting obscenities and "threatening to 'kill the faggots.'" Ultimately, the lads fell in line, and Richard O'Brien's and Jim Sharman's glam slam miraculously continues to unite very discrete groups.

    Other chapters survey Punk Cinema (Beth B. and Amos Poe), Camp (Mommie Dearest [1981]), Gore (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre [1974]), Drugs (Reefer Madness [1940]), and Agit-Prop (Tod Browning's infamous Freaks, of which Hoberman amusingly observes that "the most militant counterculture film was made in 1932"). An especial delight is the book's conclusion, in which the authors discuss the then-state of the late-night nation. Midnight movies aren't so much born as (to borrow an old tagline) kicked out of Hell, but different films reflect the concerns of different socio-economic orders. Dawn's audience, for example, is distinctly--though not exclusively--proletarian, whereas El Topo's eminence "was predicated on the existence of the kind of marginal leisure class that wouldn't think twice about going to see a midnight flick in the middle of the week."

    Hoberman and Rosenbaum offer their choices for great unsung midnight movies, and impressive ones they are: Alain Resnais' Last Year at Marienbad (1961), and Sergei Eisenstein's unfinished Ivan the Terrible trilogy (1944-58), "which intermittently comes across as the greatest Flash Gordon serial ever made." Other possibilities include such "epic, environmental" experiments as Warhol's twenty-five hour **** (1968--screened only once, at the New Cinema Playhouse) and Jacques Rivette's Out 1 (1971; a mere twelve hours and forty minutes). Rosenbaum nominates Frank Tashlin's "prophetic avant-garde masterpiece" Will Success Spoil Rock Hunter? (1957), and Hoberman suggests "a two-hour combination of Busby Berkeley's greatest hits."

    Rosenbaum deplores such canonical splatter platters as Blood Feast (1963) and Basket Case (1982) ("neither of which I would have seen if we hadn't been doing this book"), but Hoberman wonders if gore cultists "[identify] with a lumpen, vengeful, rebellious element in popular taste," and laments that films "have turned out to be...a 'passing amusement.'" This is especially evident in the new millennium, an age whose youth prefer the virtual violence of video and computer games to traditional artistic experiences. Perhaps, in the final analysis, films aren't interactive enough, despite the call and response of the midnight mentality. As the authors note in their 1991 afterword, the enchanted era was ending by the time of the book's first edition "and we were speaking about a historical phenomenon." The mainstream sucked in the surreal, leading to a double-edged victory: Rosenbaum remarks "that midnight movies succeeded rather than failed" as their creators went Hollywood, "but it's a kind of success that resembles failure on certain fronts; it's like saying that socialism in this country succeeded rather than failed when it became part of the New Deal." Today's audiences, at any rate, crave more immediate sensations, and pushing a button or manipulating a joystick are, for them, less passive than watching a film or reading a book. The sons of night, and maids who love the moon, have, I fear, for evermore exchanged the midnight flower for the eye of vulgar light.


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    Talk backs for Oleanna »Inside Triad Stage

    (Above is a photo from Technically Talking when we had the designers join us onstage along with the actors who are seated on the right.)


    We will be having talk backs with the actors after every show throughout the run of OLEANNA. (We do, however, reserve the right to cancel a talk back if we must, but we hope that doesn't happen.)



    The talk backs we have had thus far have been nothing but insightful and engaging.



    It is true that OLEANNA sparks more questions than answers. Please join us for questions after you see the play.


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    THE DARK GODS OF THE TENDERLOIN: SLEAZOID EXPRESS »Dead Pictures

    Some filmmakers have their fingers on the pulse of the movie-going public, others down its throat. The latter group constitutes the rogues' gallery of Bill Landis and Michelle Clifford's Sleazoid Express: A Mind-Twisting Tour Through the Grindhouse Cinema of Times Square! (Fireside/Simon & Schuster, 2002; 315 pages). Landis, who earlier published a splendid biography of Luciferian auteur Kenneth Anger, and wife Clifford vividly recreate the lost world of Manhattan's 42nd Street, the former cesspool which now serves the Big Apple's international tourist, as opposed to its rough, trade. Landis (1959-2008) pulled several years as a projectionist/manager at sundry fleapits, braving a workplace where "muggings and bloody needles were the order of the day." His legendary fanzine helped legitimize the grindhouse genre, earning him the enmity of underground heavyweights Jonas Mekas and Ken Jacobs, while endearing him to Mr. Anger. (Anger later feuded with Landis over his unauthorized bio, but that's showbiz.)

    The tour ranges from the stylized kink of the Olga trilogy (1964-66) and other early roughies to women-in-prison epics and mondo movies. Their creators are creatures of the night: shadowy, often pseudonymous people who move with hand-held Bolexes through the margins, where magic usually happens. Film distributor Stan Borden "was slobbering, but he was personable." Producer George Weiss "had a Jungian feel for the sordid American S&M unconscious." Andy Milligan made movies for as little as $750, and the costumes for his gory period pieces were loudly colored so as to survive the blowup to thirty-five-millimeter. Once, when his Sweeney Todd ripoff Bloodthirsty Butchers (1970) was resurrected at the Lyric, a censored throatslitting--performed to appease the MPAA--resulted in the hurling from the balcony of a small refrigerator. "The crowd became agitated," Landis notes dryly. These were dangerous places to displease an audience.

    The Cameo purveyed industrial-strength hardcore, while the Anco "sat on a nest of rotten eggs." Genderbenders from Ed Wood to Doris Wishman unreeled while "Latino junkies on the lam after a quick strongarm robbery slumped in the aisles." The Rialto programmed an unrelenting gore apocalypse; the Roxy's blaxploitationers "were as inflexible and distinct as the troublemakers sitting in the audience." These theatres form an infernal roll call as the authors invoke the Dark Gods of the Tenderloin.

    Of course, conjuration demands sacrifice, preferably bloody. Roughie pioneer Michael Findley was decapitated in a helicopter crash atop the Pan Am building. Laurence Merrick, director of 1972's Oscar-nominated Manson documentary, was murdered several years after the film's release, as was interviewee Ronni Howard. The toll was also psychic. William Sanderson, best known today as hillbilly Larry from Newhart, hanged a black pastor's wife in Fight for Your Life (1977), a picture "calculated to drive inner city audiences berserk with rage." He told Clifford he was afraid the film would come back to haunt him. (Landis, who was present at an Empire screening, reports that "white patrons tried to leave the theatre as unassumingly as possible"). Many filmmakers never made any money from their work. Distributors sold prints to subdistributors, who could reissue them with impunity while their creators received no residuals whatsoever. Roger Watkins was unaware for years that his pseudo-snuff Last House on Dead End Street (1977) was actually playing somewhere and even turning a profit, as well as stomachs. The Dark Gods have a voracious appetite.

    The title of Larry Buchanan's High Yellow (1965) "was so offensive you had to call the boxoffice." David Durston, director of Boy-napped (1975), spent a night in the pokey after star Jamie Gillis ran through Little Italy with a pistol, alarming the locals. Bob Roberts' 1976 porno take on the Patty Hearst saga, Patty, was closed by court order after only one week. Landis and Clifford enthusiastically convey the grit and the grime of psychosexual cinema in the funniest Deuce memoir since Josh Alan Friedman's Tales of Times Square.

    This is not to suggest the book is without faults. The authors perpetuate the myths that Milligan directed 1964's The Naked Witch (it was Buchanan), and that celebrity monologist Spalding Gray appeared as the depraved El Sharif in Ilsa, Harem Keeper of the Oil Sheiks (1976). They also claim that Ruggero Deodato's Cannibal Holocaust (1980) was the director's response to Umberto Lenzi's Cannibal Ferox/Make Them Die Slowly (1981), when it's the other way around (though Lenzi did inaugurate this notorious subgenre). Ivan Rassimov, and not Massimo Foschi, is listed as the star of Deodato's The Last Survivor/The Last Cannibal World (1977), and so forth. These are curious errors for film cultists to make, and Sleazoid Express would have benefited from tighter editing.

    To take this tour, however, is to experience by proxy the movies' anti-canon, a refreshing alternative to that puffed-up mainstream that imagines As Good As it Gets (1997) is as good as it gets. The socially disreputable sorcerers of cinema remain as vital as ever in this age of Hollywood product whose innovations are inversely proportional to their stratospheric budgets. Really, now: Wouldn't you rather watch I Drink Your Blood (1970) or White Slaves of Chinatown (1964) than the latest groaner from Jerry Bruckheimer? (Video companies are helpfully appendiced.) See them and die a thousand deaths.


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    THE FLOWER CALLED NOWHERE: EAUX D'ARTIFICE »Dead Pictures
    Anger made test shots for an adaptation of the Comte de Lautreamont's Les Chants des Maldoror, but--once again--no funds were forthcoming, and French surrealists, led by Ado Kyrou, allegedly promised bodily mischief if the director proceeded. Lautreamont's "Hymn to the Ocean" sequence was filmed, however, and the so-called war of pins and flies was photographed inside a glass container. Anger journeyed to Egypt in late 1951, where he began the outline for Hymn to the Sun, which reads much like a Paul Bowles scenario of magic and menace. This project, too, was never realized, and he soon settled in Rome. He still had film stock left over from the Pantheon project, and envisioned Eaux d'Artifice (1953; 13 minutes) as a four-part, increasingly-graphic account of the Sixteenth Century Cardinal Ippolito d'Este, whose family built the Tivoli Fountains.

    D'Este, the second son of Lucrezia Borgia, was a hedonist whom Anger revered as a sex magician into golden showers: "...the whole garden is actually a private dirty joke. It has ten thousand fountains and everything is pissing on everything else and it's like inexhaustible piss." D'Este is perhaps a kindred spirit of Hellfire Club founder Sir Francis Dashwood, who (legend has it) designed a formal garden on his estate to resemble a nude woman whose double flowerbeds and shrubbery triangle were equipped with hidden fountains--much as Anger's Water Witch (Carmilla Salvatorelli) echoes minor Hellfire member the Chevalier d'Eon: both have been identified as persons of ambiguous sex. The performer was in fact female; she was a circus dwarf recommended to Anger by Federico Fellini. Taking as his model Giovanni Piranesi's etchings, Anger used her small size to suggest a greater scale to the water garden than actually exists, and the effect is stunning. This mysterious masked figure patrols the fountains under heavy gowns and an enormous headdress (which resembles frozen waves), observed by the streaming faces of baroque statues and accompanied by the staccato strings of Antonio Vivaldi's "Winter" section of "The Four Seasons."

    Despite the fact that he was able to realize only a portion of the d'Este project, Eaux d'Artifice--whose imaginary French title puns on fireworks ("feux d'artifice")--remains Anger's most sensual picture. Visually, it expands upon such pioneering waterworks as Jorris Ivens' Regen ("Rain," 1929) and Ralph Steiner's H2O (1929); erotically and metaphysically, it expands the intersection of Nature and Supernature. One of Anger's greatest strengths is his manipulation of myth to create sacred space, a pagan zone just on the other side of things, accessible through the four elements. It's as if the camera has captured a time and place that never begins, yet never really ends. The backlit gardens employ natural sunlight to look like no night on earth, while the glowing serpentine water (its drops isolated at different camera speeds) recalls the gemlike hues in the "Toccata and Fugue in D Minor" sequence of Walt Disney's Fantasia (1940). By the time Salvatorelli, after playing hide and seek with the viewer, merges with the glittering spray, one is eager to join her in this incandescent darkness.

    Fantoma derives its internegative from the original reversal A/B rolls. The restored blue tints of this black-and-white film (photographed through a red filter) enhance its oneiric appeal; especially enchanting is the emerald coloring of Salvatorelli's hand-held "fan of Exorcism," which is alchemically aglow like some enormous winged insect.

    Anger says nothing about d'Este's exploits in his commentary, instead praising his actress and pointing out the use of magical coincidence in the film's most memorable sequence. A clog had caused the fountains to overflow on one level; this led to Salvatorelli's stately descent of the flooded steps, which shimmer in the shadows. Silent siren Louise Brooks considered Eaux d'Artifice Anger's "sexiest film," and certainly the spectral, spurting water is like an extended medley of the Dreamer's seminal submission in Fireworks. In 1993, the picture was selected for preservation by the Library of Congress.

    NEXT: INAUGURATION OF THE PLEASURE DOME


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    THE FLOWER CALLED NOWHERE: ENTR'ACTE »Dead Pictures

    Anger next journeyed to Crowley's Thelema Abbey, the Sicilian "monastery" where the magus conducted his sexual rituals. The place was scarcely more than an abandoned shanty (Crowley and his cronies had been deported in the early Twenties), but Anger helped to renovate the house, uncovering erotic frescoes and the temple room's magic circle. His half-hour documentary, Thelema Abbey, was sponsored by Picture Post and broadcast on British television in 1955, but disappeared when the magazine folded. Plans for a 1961 film of Pauline Reage's Story of O were scuttled when Anger discovered that the funds furnished by the lead actress's boyfriend derived from the ransom payment to automobile heir Eric Peugeot's kidnappers, and the actress's father--Charles de Gaulle's Minister of Finance--learned she wasn't off taking harpsichord lessons after all. Legend locates the twenty minutes Anger shot as being literally underground, though apparently this extends no further than the archives of the Cinematheque Francaise, and the book would have to wait fourteen years for Just Jaeckin's softcore adaptation. Anger's primary endeavor during this period was the work for which he is most infamous, Hollywood Babylon (1957; revised U.S. edition 1974).

    Anger was down and out in Paris, and approached Cahiers du Cinema with the idea of compiling Hollywood's secret history. The journal suggested that he channel his gossipy, and not always accurate, tales of celebrity misbehavior into a book, which Jean Jacques Pauvert (who had previously defied French censors by publishing the Marquis de Sade) would release. Opening with a Crowley quote, "Every Man and every Woman is a Star," from Magick in Theory and Practice, Anger traces the hellish movements of his heavenly bodies in lurid, Bestial prose. "I have developed a case of enormous, petrified, extremely sour grapes over the subject of Hollywood," Anger once declaimed, and this mocking, overwrought chronicle--Tacitus in Tinseltown--is the destitute director's attack on the land in which he never became a Star. The picture-filled book is essentially a surrogate film, a documentary done for coffee tables. Anger dishes dirt on everyone from "Fatty" Arbuckle to "Monster" Mae West, climaxing in the "Hollywoodammerung" of various performers (replete with disturbing corpse shots of Lewis Stone and cover girl Jayne Mansfield). It's deconstruction by death ray, and it spawned numerous imitations in the fields of music and television. Anger later claimed to have written Babylon "for one reader in a thousand"--in other words, the book was supposedly composed in a secret code that no one has ever been able to decipher, if it even exists (though Anger did offer a thousand dollars to anyone who cracked it). The book's publishing history is as lurid as its sensationalism. Marvin Miller, who had earlier made a mint ripping off Maurice Girodias' Olympia Press, brought out an unauthorized, rewritten edition in the mid-Sixties, and later a softcore film of it. Anger was never compensated, though book and movie were ordered withdrawn by a federal court; bootlegs of both have surfaced periodically. Miller, whose outrageous career encompassed everything from embezzlement to arson, was eventually sentenced to eight years in Wire City, and Hollywood Babylon ultimately received an official American release through Rolling Stone's Straight Arrow imprint.

    NEXT: SCORPIO RISING


    [Full article]
    22:21
    THE FLOWER CALLED NOWHERE: EPILOGUE »Dead Pictures

    Anger has been credited with several apocryphal projects over the decades. Only thirteen copies (a reference to the original American colonies) of "the Eisenstein of Satanism"'s chained tricolor bicentennial box, Senators in Bondage (1976), were allegedly produced, while a year later wealthy collectors were offered Anger's Fireworks cannibalization, Matelots en Menotte ("Sailors in Handcuffs") in twelve pricey prints. Denunciation of Stan Brakhage (1979), the supposed cinematic result of a long-simmering fallout with his fellow auteur--Brakhage won a Film Culture award that Anger coveted--was scheduled for another dozen copies. According to Robert Haller of Anthology Film Archives, these mysterious items exist only as press releases, though Alice Hutchison's recent Anger-approved monograph still lists them in the director's filmography.

    Anger's most visible endeavor in the Eighties was Hollywood Babylon II (1984), a book in which his bitterness got the better of him. Some of the material in this volume, as is the case with the original Babylon, should be approached with extreme skepticism. The "Hollywood Hospital" section, for example, reports with lip-smacking satisfaction that character actor George Zucco, best remembered for such Poverty Row gems as Dead Men Walk (1943) and The Flying Serpent (1946), died raving--"screaming he was being stalked by the Great God Cthulu!," no less--in a madhouse. It's a tantalizing Tale from the Darkside, but there's not a shred of truth in it. Anger's description of James Dean as a "human ashtray" craving cigarette burns at a leather bar is similarly lurid, and was decried by Dean's friend Dennis Hopper. One senses that Anger is lashing out at all and sundry, and the author paid a poetically exorbitant price for this: after sending a copy of the book to the Reagan White House with a note instructing the President's wife "to read page so and so," he promptly found himself being audited by the IRS. Anger admits that this bit of cheekiness "was one of the most stupid things I ever did." Desperate for cash, he sold the rights for Babylon to a television producer for a short-lived syndicated late-night show hosted by Tony Curtis.

    Anger's other recent projects include Don't Smoke That Cigarette (2000), a compilation of ancient coffin nails commercials intercut with cancer footage, scored to the accompaniment of Hank Williams' "Smoke, Smoke, Smoke That Cigarette." A commentator at the Internet Movie Database complains that "Anger has simply taken a videotape produced in the 1990s called SMOKE THAT CIGARETTE, added 'Don't' and his name to it, and portrayed it as his own." If true, perhaps this act of cultural appropriation is an hommage to Marcel Duchamp. Ich Will! ("I Want!," 2000), described as "an ironic re-editing of Nazi propaganda films dealing with...the Hitler Youth," was commissioned by, and premiered at, Austria's Donau Festival. Anger Sees RED (2004) is a brief high-definition video in which Anger follows the titular muscled youth through the streets of Hollywood and De Longpre Park. Elliot's Suicide (2004) is a tribute to Anger's late neighbor, former Heatmiser singer Elliot Smith, who terminated a promising solo career by stabbing himself in the heart. The long-delayed Mouse Heaven, also completed the same year with the help of a Rockefeller Foundation Media Arts grant, is a delightful collage of rare Mickey Mouse memorabilia from the legendary Birnkrant collection. Anger prefers the character's original incarnation as a demonic rat, and possibly this piece is his revenge on Walt Disney, of whom he once remarked, "When I meet [him] in hell I'll kick him in the balls" for emasculating poor Mickey. Mouse Heaven was shot on video, includes songs by Ian Whitcomb and the Proclaimers, and marks Anger's first use of CGI. Finally, I'll Be Watching You (2007) and Foreplay (2008) revisit the voyeurism of Anger Sees RED: in the first film, a lovemaking security guard and bodyguard are observed by another man on a surveillance monitor; in the second, the camera erotically scrutinizes a practicing soccer team.

    In 1995 Anger himself received the Babylon treatment with the publication of Bill Landis' unauthorized biography. Anger unleashed his lawyers on Landis, the publisher of underground cinema journal Sleazoid Express, comically and ludicrously demanding that the book contain no pictures of him. Landis carefully delineated the many discrepancies in Anger's legend, and for thirteen years seemed to have weathered the spell the director placed upon him--a defiance trumpeted on the Sleazoid website: "The book he couldn't curse away! Feel Ken Anger's agony of being pressed between two covers!" (Landis succumbed at age 48 to heart failure in December 2008.) Alice L. Hutchison's more recent tome (2004), a nominee for the New Zealand Prime Minister's Award for Literary Achievement, was produced with Anger's full cooperation, and unsurprisingly steers clear of the various inconsistencies of its subject's life and work. It does, however, offer stunning stills from his films, which Anger has exhibited in galleries around the world as part of his "Icons" series. Also invaluable is the reprinting of Anger's 1950 statement on Fireworks, "Application d'Artifice," originally published in Jean Boulet's St. Cinema des Pres, as well as 1951's Cahiers du Cinema essay, "Modesty and the Art of Film." Readers should be aware that Hutchison has been accused by Miriam Dagan of plagiarizing the latter's post-graduate thesis on Anger, as well as a Carel Rowe essay on the director, charges Hutchison vehemently denies.

    Anger has been credited with penning Atlantis: The Lost Continent, but this work was actually composed by Crowley for part of his Equinox series, while the director contributed an introduction decades later. He also translated Lo Duca's A History of Eroticism into English (1961), although he has falsely been attributed authorship. Deborah Allison, reviewing Hutchison's monograph in the online Film Journal, states that Anger provided forewords for Anton LaVey's last two volumes, The Devil's Notebook (1993) and the posthumous Satan Speaks! (1999), but those introductions are actually credited to Feral House publisher Adam Parfrey and musician Marilyn Manson, respectively. Anger definitely wrote the foreword for David K. Frasier's 2002 compilation, Suicide in the Entertainment Industry, and his essay, "A Vivianne Romance: Ode to a French Screen Legend," composed in suitably Babylon-ian style, appears in Jack Stevenson's 2002 sexploitation survey Fleshpot.

    Anger completed Hollywood Babylon III some years ago, but complains that E.P. Dutton rejected the manuscript for being "too rough." Observer journalist Sanjiv Bhattacharya, investigating this claim in 2004, notes that Dutton's editors "know nothing of such a manuscript." This third volume is said to contain various explicit sexual and violent images, including an alleged photo (which Anger has been promising to reveal for at least three decades) of Marlon Brando performing fellatio. There's also an expose of Tinseltown's Scientology connection, and Anger believes that fear of Church litigation has hindered publication. The director's autobiography, Look Back Ken Anger, has also been promised. Authors Darwin Porter and Danforth Prince have recently published their own Hollywood Babylon, and Anger's curses are once again flying through the ether.

    While the world awaits Anger's new literary efforts, a lovely tribute to the director is available on YouTube. Verdi Cries (for Kenneth Anger) sets Natalie Merchant's song to a montage of Cycle scenes, but is slightly compromised by printed scrawls praising the director, when surely his images should be sufficient. Anger is battling prostate cancer, and expected to die on Samhain 2008, but happily the Magus is still with us. Erstwhile Soft Cell crooner Marc Almond, who himself nearly perished in a motorcycle crash several years ago, has recently covered Scorpio"s "Devil in Disguise" for a planned tribute disc to the director.

    The most interesting recent Anger-related work is Zachary Lazar's 2008 novel Sway, which recreates and reimagines the Sixties through the cultural collision of Anger, the Stones, Beausoleil, and Manson. It's an absorbing, vaguely DeLillo-esque exploration of the underside of the hippie dream, from Brian Jones' swimming pool to Altamont and Spahn Ranch. Lazar captures the madness that constituted this decade as accurately as the filmmaker's magick lantern. Anger is the subject of Elio Gelmini's Anger Me (2006), and appears in Nik Sheehan's 2008 documentary about Brion Gysin and his Dreamachine, FLicKeR. He also performs on theremin with guitarist Brian Butler as the "magick ritual of light and sound" duo Technicolor Skull.

    If Kenneth Anger has chosen to reign in the underground rather than serve in Hollywood, the cinema has been immeasurably enriched by his rebellion. His career is an extended psychic enchantment, a radiation of astral realms though the display of trapped light. Despite his dark influence on film and music video, one cannot truly imagine this iconoclast being absorbed into the mainstream; rather, he has absorbed the mainstream into his work, deforming and transforming it. Manipulating his Ektachrome and digital demons by the might of his will, Anger reminds us that, as P.D. Ouspensky so memorably put it, "Man has within him everything from a mineral to God." He is the world's most significant pagan filmmaker, and Fantoma's splendid restoration of the Magick Lantern Cycle at long last gives this devil his due.

    SOURCES

    Allison, Deborah. "Kenneth Anger." The Film Journal, Issue 12. http://www.thefilmjournal.com/

    "Anger Author Accused of Plagiarism." The National Student, May 2006 (editorial). http://www.national-student.co.uk/

    Anger, Kenneth. Hollywood Babylon. California: Straight Arrow Books, 1975.

    Anger, Kenneth. Hollywood Babylon II. New York: E.P. Dutton, 1984.

    Baddeley, Gavin. Lucifer Rising: Sin, Devil Worship & Rock 'n' Roll. London: Plexus, 1999.

    Barton, Blanche. The Church of Satan. New York: Hell's Kitchen Productions, 1990.

    Barton, Blanche. The Secret Life of a Satanist: The Authorized Biography of Anton LaVey. California: Feral House, 1992.

    Bhattacharya, Sanjiv. "Look Back at Anger." The Observer, August 22, 2004.

    Bissette, Stephen R. "Harrington Ascending: The Underground Roots." Video Watchdog No. 14, November/December 1992.

    Carter, John. Sex and Rockets: The Occult World of Jack Parsons. California: Feral House, 1999.

    Crowley, Aleister. The Book of the Law. Maine: Weiser Books, 1976

    Crowley, Aleister. Magick in Theory and Practice. New Jersey: Castle Books, 1991.

    Hoberman, J. and Jonathan Rosenbaum. Midnight Movies (revised edition). New York: Da Capo, 1991.

    Hunter, Jack (editor). Moonchild: The Films of Kenneth Anger. London: Creation Books, 2002.

    Hutchison, Alice L. Kenneth Anger: A Demonic Visionary. London: Black Dog Publishing, 2004.

    Landis, Bill. Anger: The Unauthorized Biography of Kenneth Anger. New York: Harper Collins, 1995.

    LaVey, Anton Szandor. The Devil's Notebook. California: Feral House, 1993.

    LaVey, Anton Szandor. Satan Speaks! California: Feral House, 1999.

    Lazar, Zachary. Sway. New York: Little, Brown and Company, 2008.

    McKenna, Terence. The Archaic Revival: Speculations on Psychedelic Mushrooms, the Amazon, Virtual Reality, UFOs, Evolution, Shamanism, the Rebirth of the Goddess, and the End of History. California: HarperOne, 1992.

    Madenwald, Marc. "Who Slew Curtis Harrington?" Psychotronic Video No. 16, Summer 1994.

    Mannix, Daniel. The Hellfire Club. New York: ibooks, 2001.

    Onstead, Katrina. "A Life of Anger." Guardian Unlimited, October 27, 2006.

    Pendle, George. Strange Angel: The Otherworldly Life of Rocket Scientist John Whiteside Parsons. California: Harcourt, 2005.

    Russo, Vito. The Celluloid Closet: Homosexuality in the Movies (revised edition). New York: Harper & Row, 1987.

    Schreck, Nikolas. The Satanic Screen: An Illustrated History of the Devil in Cinema 1896-1999. London: Creation Books, 2001.

    Sutin, Lawrence. Do What Thou Wilt: A Life of Aleister Crowley. New York: St. Martin's Griffin, 2000.


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    THE FLOWER CALLED NOWHERE: FIREWORKS »Dead Pictures
    The Films of Kenneth Anger, Volume One covers the first half of the director's Cycle, from finished projects to fragments and fragments to finished projects. (Regrettably, such teenage efforts as Who Has Been Rocking My Dreamboat [1941], The Nest [1943], and Demigods [1944] are nowhere to be found and likely no longer exist.) The set opens with the Prix Henri Chometter-award-winning Fireworks (1947; B/W, 15 minutes), lensed at Anger's parents' house when the Anglemyers were out of town (though Anger's brother Bob has located the shoot elsewhere), and unreleased for two years. J. Hoberman and Jonathan Rosenbaum have credited its creator with "provok[ing] the first major scandal of American avant-garde" cinema, and it's easy to see why: when Anger's hallucinatory homoeroticism was unspooled at London's Royal Film Society in 1950, the Indian Ambassador's wife cried, "That film should be burned," and left in a righteous huff. Seven years later, exhibitor Raymond Rohauer was convicted of disseminating obscenity for reviving Fireworks at his legendary Coronet Theatre. His conviction was overturned in 1959 by the California State Supreme Court, which imperiously declared "that homosexuality is not to be approved of, but society should understand its causes and effects." Sexologist Alfred C. Kinsey was so impressed with the picture that he obtained a copy for his archives; this marked the beginning of Anger's decades-long relationship with the Institute, for which he did volunteer research.

    Anger has pronounced Fireworks "all I have to say about being seventeen, the United States Navy, American Christmas, and the Fourth of July." The Dreamer (Anger) wakes from his troubled sleep to cruise a darkened men's room, which opens into an alternative universe of freeways, a painted bar backdrop Anger liberated from an old western set, and swooning sexual violence. He encounters a body-building sailor (Bill Seltzer), who shows off by flexing his muscles and walking on his hands. Anger is swatted by Seltzer when he produces a cigarette and asks for a light (a common enough come-on, but one which, in Anger's psychoverse, contains magnetic resonance), has his arm twisted by another sailor, and is finally scourged by several chain-wielding tars, who rip open his chest to reveal a ticking electrometer. Anger's Eleusinian mini-epic offers male sadomasochism as mystery initiation, achieving apotheosis in the notorious money shot (seamen/semen) of a Roman candle phallus. Anger's subsequent transmogrification into a Christmas tree, which is consumed in the family fireplace, echoes his earlier Tinsel Tree (1942), while ritually lampooning the cult of the Dying Father. Sacrifice, a theme permeating Anger's work, would find further release in other projects, from the killing of an Aztec prince in 1950's Golden Bough-inspired The Love That Whirls--destroyed on grounds of obscenity, a then-frequent practice, by the Comstocks at Eastman-Kodak--to the more overtly Crowleyan ceremonies of Inauguration of the Pleasure Dome and Lucifer Rising.

    Anger prepared at least five different versions of Fireworks, two of which (an early draft and a 1966 hand-painted print) are lost. Anger's friend and fellow filmmaker, Ed Earle, notes that the sequence of the Dreamer lying naked in a public urinal was originally longer and contained additional violence. The director's narrated prologue has been restored by UCLA from the surviving prints; the original negative A/B rolls are themselves lost, leaving only positive copies. (Mystic Fire's and BFI's print, which contained red-lettered title and end cards, does not appear here but would have made a nice supplement; the title card is reproduced in the set's lavish booklet.) Emulsion scratches are present but scarcely distracting; if anything, they enhance the film's rich rawness. The source music, a melancholically martial excerpt from Ottorino Respighi's "The Pines of Rome," alternates with silence throughout. According to Anger, the original release also contained music by Ernest Schelling, but it is not retained in any video version.

    The director states in his commentary that Fireworks was inspired by a dream, which was itself generated by Los Angeles' infamous Zoot Suit Riots. He identifies the actors as soldiers studying combat photography at the University of Southern California, though Earles has described the men as "tricks who had no inhibitions." Whatever the truth is (and that's sometimes a quantum question where this artist is concerned), Anger recalls them with obvious affection and protests that, despite his protagonist, he himself is an adamant non-smoker.

    NEXT: PUCE MOMENT


    [Full article]
    22:21
    THE FLOWER CALLED NOWHERE: INAUGURATION OF THE PLEASURE DOME »Dead Pictures

    Inauguration of the Pleasure Dome (1954; color, 38 minutes) shifts Anger's energies into magical overdrive. Photographed in the spirit of Art Nouveau, the film had its genesis in a "Come As Your Madness" masquerade ball thrown by Renate Loome (Lilith) and Paul Mathison (who played Pan and designed the picture's striking titles.) In attendance were eroticist Anais Nin (Astarte), her head encased in a birdcage filled with "the ticker tape of the unconscious." Anger appeared as Hecate, while Curtis Harrington arrived as Cesare the Somnambulist from Robert Weine's The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (1919). (Harrington later surfaced from the underground to create such memorable features as 1961's mermaid mood song Night Tide). Samson De Brier (formerly Arthur Jasmine), who had appeared in Alla Nazimova's 1923 production of Oscar Wilde's Salome, came as an Eastern potentate, while Kathryn Kaddell attended as Cleopatra, evolving into Isis for Pleasure Dome. Looming over all of them was Marjorie Cameron, whom Anger had befriended. "She is surrounded by an evil aura," Nin wrote at the time, "which fascinates Paul, Curtis, and Kenneth." Cameron was the flame-haired widow of Jack Parsons, a Crowley disciple who worked as a rocket scientist at Pasadena's Jet Propulsion Laboratory. Parsons was much taken with Crowley's pivotal poem/scripture The Book of the Law, which prophesied the death of Christianity and the ascension of Horus, Crowley's "Crowned and Conquering Child." Eager to speed the New Aeon along, Parsons executed the Babalon Working with scribe and pulp novelist/Dianetics guru L. Ron Hubbard. Parsons' masturbatory magic, he believed, attracted the elemental Cameron to him (a good thing, too, as Hubbard had seduced Parsons' girlfriend in the interim) and they attempted to conceive a moonchild. Parsons later blew himself up in a chemical experiment, though more conspiracy-minded souls insist he was engaged in some diabolical act.

    The film was photographed at De Brier's house, which Anger had previously requisitioned for Puce Moment. Anger comments on the audio track that De Brier "had his own universe in his home, which was unique in Hollywood." This total environment with its incredible orange doors and gold-leaf ceilings was worthy of J.K. Huysman's Des Esseintes, and ideal for Anger's phantasmagoric vision. Betty Vaughn, De Brier's houseguest, was intended to take over the role of Hecate, but she dropped out of the picture after a row with the director, leaving Anger to return as the crossroads goddess. Personality flare-ups between Nin and Cameron resulted in the prominence of the latter. "This is a card game and the stake is ego," De Brier cannily noted in his diary.

    Harrington pointed out "that nobody in the cast knew how they were going to be used in the finished film," but the result is spectacular, funny, and disturbing. Pleasure Dome references Samuel Taylor Coleridge's "Kubla Kahn," and assembles characters from various mythologies for a Eucharistic orgy--Bacchus being torn by the Bacchantes. De Shier shines in multiple roles as Lord Shiva, the Great Beast 666, Osiris, Cagliostro, and Nero, while Cameron doubles as the Scarlet Woman and Lady Kali. Loome's son Peter, appearing as Ganymede, recalls Shakespeare's Changeling Prince. The mythopoeic mix starts slowly, building and building until--as Shiva spikes Pan's yage--it erupts in a chromophonic frenzy of crosscuts and superimpositions. It is here that Anger's careful study of Eisenstein's theory of montage metamorphosizes into a butterfly of dark and paranoid beauty. Especially effective is the sampling of Henry Otto's Dante's Inferno (1924) as the inflamed women swarm lustily over Pan, their personalities dissolving in ecstatic affirmation. Anger's sense of space is simultaneously vast and claustrophobic, reinforcing the director's notion that the Pleasure Dome being inaugurated is an escape-proof prison--the downside, it would seem, of any total environment.

    Anger tinkered considerably with this film through the years. Microtonal composer Harry Partch provided him with tapes of his work, but threatened to sue over its inclusion in the picture. In 1958, the director, emulating the climax of Abel Gance's Napoleon (1927), prepared a three-act-and-screen print for the Brussels World's Fair. Landis recounts the event with relish: the German projectionists were not scrupulous enough for Anger's satisfaction, "and [he] charged into their booth, screaming inflammatory epithets....[Anger] dragged his head against the stucco wall of the booth until his blood seeped down it." This impassioned protest, not surprisingly, marked the end of the Brussels version, but Anger exhumed Pleasure Dome eight years later as the psychedelic experience par excellence. Supplemented with Leon Janacek's intense "Galgolithic Mass," this version was screened, along with his earlier films, in New York for the Spring Equinox. Anger designed a playbill for this occasion, urging audiences to "follow me into the flower called nowhere." This slightly shorter edition has become Anger's standard cut, and incorporates several shots from Puce Moment.

    Anger's commentary, alas, address none of Pleasure Dome's backstage melodrama, sticking instead to analyses of his jewel-like colors and the film's vivid artificiality. He does reveal that De Brier "was rumored to be the bastard son of the King of Romania, and I think he liked people to believe that"--a thought expressed, incidentally, with no discernible irony. Anger resurrects his grandmother, who for this go-round was "an interior decorator in Hollywood." He also identifies the various cabalistic symbols that appear like flashes from the Overmind, before blandly concluding that the film's "ultimate feeling is one of spirituality."

    Fantoma has transferred the internegative of Pleasure Dome's 1993 restoration (which adds even more superimpositions), and the film is alive with color, though not without brief frame jitter. In the late Seventies, Anger replaced Janacek's dead-language track with Electric Light Orchestra songs, though this version has not been included, perhaps due to problems over the music rights. Anger never obtained permission to use the various tunes that invigorate his work, a negligence that--after Phil Spector's lawyers objected--sent Scorpio Rising into a legal limbo from which it has only recently returned.

    Fantoma's first Anger volume is slipcased with the aforementioned booklet, which contains an introduction by Martin Scorcese. Also included are still-packed notes for each film, behind-the-scenes shots from Rabbit's Moon and Pleasure Dome, extracts from Volume V of Nin's long-running diary, as well as De Brier's Film Culture article on Pleasure Dome's production, and several brooding shots of the youthful Anger. Restoration before-and-afters are provided for each film. A lovely surprise is forty-three of the director's color sketches for Puce Women. All films appear in their original 1.33:1 aspect ratio.

    NEXT: ENTR'ACTE


    [Full article]
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    THE FLOWER CALLED NOWHERE: INVOCATION OF MY DEMON BROTHER »Dead Pictures
    Anger began making private reels during this period, one of which--perhaps his greatest film maudit--briefly landed him in hot water as a federal fugitive. Freelancing for the Kinsey Institute, he recorded a sadist doctor putting his masochistic patients through stiff workouts in the man's soundproof torture chamber. The acts were consensual, but when Anger foolishly had the footage developed at a drugstore, the San Jose County police thought they had a bona fide snuff film on their hands. The doctor was arrested and Anger was interrogated, an experience the director appears to have relished. The Institute came to his aid, but Anger, who was to be the state's witness, defied an order to remain in California and ventured to Colorado for a film festival. He was taken into custody at director Stan Brakhage's house by the town sheriff (a friend of Brakhage's) and a San Jose County Assistant District Attorney. Brakhage's friendship with the sheriff, who now opened a file on him, ended then and there. One hopes that Anger's footage did not suffer the same ignominious fate as The Love That Whirls.

    Anger made more private reels and returned to San Francisco to document the hippie scene. By now he had joined his friend Anton LaVey's Church of Satan, and his new project was a "fallen angel manifesto" called Lucifer Rising. Inspired by Crowley's "Hymn to Lucifer," Anger searched for the devil he considered "the patron saint of the visual arts." Lucifer is the Roman name for the planet Venus, and was worshipped both as Aurora (morning star) and as Vesper (evening star). The Gnostics revered Lucifer as the Herald of the Dawn, and Robert Graves speculated that the rebellious King of Babylon in the Book of Isaiah was derived from the observation that Venus is the last proud star to defy the sunrise, and that it must have been punished for its disobedience. Lucifer is also a surrogate for Horus, the "Crowned and Conquering Child" whose id dominates his superego, and he manifested himself in the form of Bobby Beausoleil. Beausoleil ("beautiful sun") was a guitarist and artist who'd been an early member of the Los Angeles rock band Love; he was also a member of Charles Manson's entourage.

    Beausoleil became Anger's chauffeur and moved into his house, a former Russian embassy. The pair presented the Equinox of the Gods ritual for Mabon at the Straight Theatre, where Beausoleil's band, the Magick Powerhouse of Oz, performed. Inevitably the two fell out, with Anger accusing Beausoleil of stealing his Lucifer footage from his car trunk after the guitarist decamped. This was the impetus for the full-page October 26, 1967 obituary for himself that Anger ran in The Village Voice to mark not the end of his life, but his cinematic career: "In Memoriam Kenneth Anger Film Maker (1947-1967)." The advertisement recalled Crowley's 1930 mischief when the Beast staged a suicide in an unsuccessful attempt to interest a publisher in a novel about just such a stunt. Anger recycled what was left of Lucifer as his "attack on the sensorium," Invocation of My Demon Brother (1969), which won Film Culture's Tenth Independent Film Award that same year.

    The director traveled to London, drifting into the orbit of the Rolling Stones, to whom he functioned as a kind of Cagliostro figure. Beausoleil had by this time been arrested and sentenced to death for the murder of Gary Hinman in a drug deal gone sour, though his sentence was commuted to life after California's abolition of capital punishment. The Stones' biographer Tony Sanchez contends that the group believed that Anger actually inspired Beausoleil to homicide, which made him a "perversely fascinating" figure for the rockers. Mick Jagger, whom Anger involved in his Lucifer project, is credited with "sound" on Invocation--an abrasive drone created on a Moog Modular synthesizer. (This same keyboard, which appears as a prop in Jagger's feature debut, Nicholas Roeg's and Donald Cammell's Performance [1970], was sold by the dissatisfied singer to Berlin's Hansa by the Wall recording studio, and ultimately wound up in the capable hands of Tangerine Dream leader Edgar Froese).

    If ever a movie looked like a spell, Invocation of My Demon Brother (color, 11 minutes) is that picture in spades. The film is bookended by three yellow circles forming "as above, so below" triangles, effectively uniting starry world with atom. Horus appears in a painting under the titles. Anger combines frantic fragments of the Mabon ritual with shots of a dope-smoking funeral for his feline Midnight (LaVey cameos here in full devil gear, a shrunken cat head in each hand), as well as the Stones' disastrous, butterfly-obliterating Hyde Park concert in memory of their late guitarist Brian Jones, and looped footage of American soldiers disembarking from a helicopter in Vietnam. (This footage, printed on a C roll and playing to the A and B rolls, appears throughout Invocation and is allegedly visible through infrared glasses.) The albino Wand Bearer (Speed Hacker) presides over images of nude boys lounging and a hanged man's contorting legs, his photophobic eyes contracting in seemingly speed-induced muscular spasms. Back at the Straight Theatre, Beausoleil's band grooves while the Magus (Anger) holds aloft Mercury's symbol, burns Crowley's "Testament of Oz," and widdershins around a magic circle to summon Lucifer--Beausoleil's body with a solar swastika projected onto it. Images come at the viewer like missiles, kaleidoscopically and subliminally: the Eye of Ra, the Eye in the Triangle, Beausoleil's glowing orbs--more than any other Anger film, Invocation watches us while we watch it. The death-obsessed bikers of Scorpio have become the expendable legions of our National Security State, impulsively going to their doom in the eternal return of American empire-building, playing the war games of the War God. Anger's flame imagery is as powerful here as it is in Pleasure Dome; light scorches the retinas in pagan pyrotechnics. The film's most astonishing sequence is a smoky accelerated shot of Anger descending the staircase of his Embassy like a marble statue come alive, to (de)generate into a voodoo doll bearing the sign, "ZAP! YOU'RE PREGNANT! THAT'S WITCHCRAFT!"

    Fantoma's internegative is taken from the original reversal A/B rolls and looks fine. The disc features, as a delightful bonus, part of the Magick Powerhouse of Oz's original recording sessions for Lucifer Rising--indeed, this is the band's only recording, period. This quasi-Indian forerunner of Beausoleil's later, definitive score was located by television producer Brian Butler, and was originally released as the second disc in White Dog's 2004 Lucifer Rising CD package. Fantoma urges the viewer to understand that this jam session is "not intended as an alternative soundtrack," though it makes a fascinating footnote to this film's strange history, and--given Anger's extensive modification of his work over the years--it deserves acceptance, and utilization, on its own considerable merits.

    NEXT: RABBIT'S MOON REDUX


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    THE FLOWER CALLED NOWHERE: KUSTOM KAR KOMMANDOS »Dead Pictures
    After Scorpio's breakthrough, Anger reverted to fragmentation with Kustom Kar Kommandos (1965), which shifts the juvenile romance of the machine from motorcycle to muscle car. Again this was to have been a much longer work--the Ford Foundation had awarded Anger ten thousand dollars for the purpose--but only three minutes were completed when his living expenses and film upgrading efforts consumed the rest of the grant. KKK combines astrological blues and pinks in a Pop Art evocation of Knight and Chariot (or, as Anger prefers, "Pygmalion and his machine mistress"), all set to the Paris Sisters' hypnotic version of "Dream Lover." The Maker's (Sandy Trent) All-Chrome Ruby Plush Dune Buggy is polished by the driver until it gleams lustily, offering the camera a dynamic range of slithering reflections. The powder puff with which Trent polishes his vehicle resembles a fat white cat, while the customized seats envelop his body in their warm womb. Like the mythical sculptor, the Maker has fallen for his creation and the feeling is one of erotic worship.

    Anger doesn't have much to say about Kustom Kar Kommandos, but the enclosed booklet offers the film's poetic prospectus and is titled simply "Kustom." Anger's original structure was similar to Scorpio Rising's, and was to contain another pointed pop soundtrack of eight, rather than thirteen, songs. ("Dream Lover," incidentally, is not one of them, though it's hard to imagine a more perfect accompaniment.) Anger has claimed that Trent was killed in a car crash, but this has never been verified and the director's commentary is mum. Fantomas' high-definition digital transfer minimizes the original reversal A/B rolls' occasional flutter.

    NEXT: INAUGURATION OF MY DEMON BROTHER


    [Full article]
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    THE FLOWER CALLED NOWHERE: LUCIFER RISING »Dead Pictures

    Late the following year, Anger finally unveiled Lucifer Rising (color, 28 minutes)--his biggest-budgeted production--at New York's Whitney Museum. The bulk of Michael Cooper's photography had been completed in 1973, but Anger spent the next several years editing the picture. ("Devil Film to Get State Aid," the Sunday Telegraph had memorably complained in 1971.) Originally he had engaged his fellow Crowleyite, Led Zeppelin guitarist Jimmy Page, to score the picture. Page had an extensive collection of Crowley's books and artwork--the world's second largest, in fact--and lived in the Beast's Loch Ness castle, Boleskine. According to the audio commentary, Page delivered only twenty minutes' worth of music, and Anger required more. He doesn't discuss his fallout with Page, who cameos in Lucifer, or the sensational press conference he held to humiliate the guitarist. (Anger was particularly peeved that Page hadn't selected him to direct the band's 1976 concert opus, The Song Remains the Same, a tumultuous task that fell to Joe Massot and Peter Clifton.) Anger now renewed his friendship with the imprisoned Beausoleil, who agreed to score the picture with his all-inmate band, and who delivered one of the truly classic film soundtracks.

    Filmed at various occult "power points" across the globe, Lucifer Rising juxtaposes long shots of the four elements with Anger's invocation of the Light-Bearer. Along the banks of the Nile, Isis (Miriam Gibril), the Life Force, signals to her lover Osiris (Donald Cammell), Lord of Death. The Adept (Haydn Couts) rises De Brier-like from his bed to continue their godly work, stares out his window at a golden dawn (symbolizing the Victorian occultists whose members included Crowley, MacGregor Mathers, and William Butler Yeats), and sacrifices a fair maiden. Lilith (Marianne Faithfull), Lucifer's rejected bride, awakens in a sarcophagus to the full moon, extends her arms under the Sphinx, and mounts the sacred solar temple at Externsteine where the Nazis initiated their Hitler-Jugend. The Magus (Anger) consecrates a magic circle, banishes the Lord of Chaos (Sir Francis Rose, one of Crowley's friends) in the center, and summons Lucifer (Leslie Huggins, whose jacket recalls the studded back in Scorpio Rising). The film climaxes with the reunion of Isis and Osiris as Wally Beavers' flying saucers soar above temple columns and the Sphinx, a charming bit of science fiction anticipated by the Mark VI birthday cake earlier presented to the Light Bearer.

    Anger's Lucifer commentary is the most gossipy and entertaining of the bunch. He says of Gibril that she "had beautiful breasts and she wasn't at all shy about showing them." Cammell, who shot himself in the mid-Nineties, "was fascinated with death, and what're you gonna do?" (Curiously, Anger doesn't address Cammell's claim that he was one of Crowley's illegitimate children.) The most amusing recollections involve the drug-addled Faithfull: "Whenever she attempted to commit suicide, it was always with someone within range that could save her." Lucifer Rising, in truth, is littered with suicides; Cooper, who also photographed album covers for the Beatles, later took his life. (In typical fashion, Anger claimed responsibility for Cooper's final exit "because I bawled him out too often.") Anger deplores Faithfull's chain-smoking, "but Capricorns are very stubborn and you can't do anything about it. At least I don't care to." He also takes her to task for putting his crew at risk by smuggling a box of heroin into Egypt, a firing squad offense. The dope, which she concealed in a cosmetics case, "looked like gray powder, and since her makeup was gray anyway, I think sometimes she forgot herself and powdered herself with heroin."

    Anger asserts that his crew observed an actual saucer at dawn, but the object moved too quickly for the camera and had to be recreated. It's worth noting that the contemporary vogue for UFOs dates back to 1947, the year of Parsons' Babalon Working, as the sorcerer scientist believed that alien spacecraft was an enigmatic engine in The Book of the Law. "The UFO is an idea intended to confound science," ethnobotanist Terrence McKenna wrote, "because science has begun to threaten the existence of the human species as well as the ecosystem of the planet." Our collective unconscious is thus alerting us to the ethical danger "whenever history builds to a certain kind of boil." The world inside our skull is transmitting hallucinogenic signals, but Anger states that, even though he "considered it like a sign from the gods that something was happening," he's "glad I don't know what it means, because it's a mystery....I certainly don't want the answer to everything." Anger's attitude extends to the rest of his commentaries, as he rarely discusses the esoteric meanings of his films.

    Fantoma offers another sparkling transfer from a new internegative, and the score has been digitally remastered at Absinthe Studios from original sources. Beaulsoleil's soundtrack disc, though currently out of print, is available in digital download format, and is well worth seeking.

    NEXT: THE MAN WE WANT TO HANG


    [Full article]
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    THE FLOWER CALLED NOWHERE: PROLOGUE »Dead Pictures

    "What's terrible about the cinema," Roland Barthes remarked at the dawn of the Nouvelle Vague, "is that it makes the monstrous viable." Kenneth Anger concurs: "I've always considered movies evil; the day cinema was invented was a black day for mankind." The Luciferian auteur's oeuvre is a form of magical combat, a synaesthetic spell against the structure of consensus reality. In 1986 Mystic Fire Video released Anger's Magick Lantern Cycle on four long-out-of-print cassettes, while BFI later issued the films as three volumes of its History of the Avant-Garde (a label, along with "underground," Anger abjures). Fantoma's long-anticipated two-volume restoration allows viewers to (re)visit his equinoctial gems with the renewed wonder they deserve. Anger unleashes more dynamism in these nine shorts than most directors manage in a lifetime of feature filmmaking.

    The artist, born Kenneth Wilbur Anglemyer in 1927, evolved under the double spell of the cinematograph and the mountebank mage, Aleister Crowley (1875-1947). Anger's career is tangled in contradictions, if not downright dishonesty; he's as steadfast a self-mythologizer as the Great Beast himself. He claims to have appeared in several of the 1930's Baby Burlesks parodies, as well as--more pertinently--to have portrayed the Changeling Prince in Max Reinhardt and William Dierterle's extravagant A Midsummer Night's Dream (1935). Though casting logs and call sheets identify the performer in question as a girl named Sheila Brown, Anger's unofficial biographer, the late Bill Landis, insisted that Anger is indeed the Prince--an assertion challenged anew in historian Scott McQueen's audio commentary for Warner Brothers' recent Midsummer disc.

    The fledgling artist staged puppet shows for friends and began making movies with his parents' wind-up sixteen-millimeter camera. He graduated from an interest in the French occultist Eliphas Levi (1810-1875) to the Thelemic work of Crowley, the Englishman who translated Levi's The Key of the Mysteries and proclaimed himself, among other outrageous identities, the magician's reincarnation. It is Crowley's antic post-Christian spirit that animates Anger's filmography, as well as his occasional literary endeavors. Mikita Brotman has argued that Anger was the first artist for whom "film, properly used and respected, is a spiritual form, a magical ceremony involving the display of trapped light." The Magick Lantern facilitates Crowley's "raising of the whole man in perfect balance to the power of Infinity," uniting microcosm with macrocosm through the incantatory medium of celluloid.

    NEXT: FIREWORKS


    [Full article]
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    THE FLOWER CALLED NOWHERE: PUCE MOMENT »Dead Pictures

    Puce Women was originally intended as a feature about Hollywood actresses in the Nineteen Twenties. Unable to procure funding, Anger abandoned the project, eventually releasing the six minutes he had in the can as Puce Moment (1949; color). This fragment casts Yvonne Marquis (identified elsewhere as Anger's cousin, though he makes no mention of it in his commentary) as a star(let) selecting a sequin dress of the title shade from her vast wardrobe, reclining dreamily on a chaise longue, and walking four magnificent borzoi--an archetypal image oddly prefiguring Barbara Steele's memorable entrance as Katia in Mario Bava's La Maschera del Demonio (1960; U.S. Black Sunday). Puce Moment exudes the austere ambience of a silent film, achieved through eight-frames-per-second camera speed and Marquis' languid movements. Anger has said of his original conception that "I was, in effect, filming ghosts," and certainly his actress seems to exist in another, transdimensional time. There is much to savor here, from the screen-filling image of flapper gowns dancing on their racks as Marquis chooses one--they shimmer and shake like phantasms--to the Florine Stettheimer-inspired sequence of the siren on her floating couch.

    MTI's digital transfer of the archival internegative looks grand. The perennially obscure Jonathan Halper's songs, the dissonant "Leaving My Old Life Behind" and the more introspective "I'm a Hermit," were added in 1971 (possibly supplanting a Verdi overture in Anger's original withdrawn version), and augment the film's temporal dislocation. The first tune's furious feedback sounded muddy in previous prints and especially benefits from Fantoma's upgrade. Anger observes in his commentary that Marquis later became mistress to former Mexican President Lazaro Cardenas, and states that the film's dresses were worn by the likes of Clara Bow and Barbara Lamarr. He also recycles the story that his grandmother was a costume mistress in the days before sound, but Anger's siblings have vigorously disputed this. The booklet credits the director as photographer, though most sources cite his fellow cineaste Curtis Harrington, who modestly demurred that he "was sort of there, you know, pushing the button."

    NEXT: RABBIT'S MOON


    [Full article]
    22:21
    THE FLOWER CALLED NOWHERE: RABBIT'S MOON »Dead Pictures
    Anger moved to Paris after the destruction of The Love That Whirls. A collaboration with his admirer Jean Cocteau, Le Jeune Homme et la Mort, based on the latter's ballet, collapsed due to further money woes. (Cocteau's novel Les Enfants Terribles, filmed in conjunction with Jean-Pierre Melville, had earlier inspired The Nest, while Fireworks had taken the Poetic Prize at Cocteau's Film Maudit festival.) Anger labored in Henri Langlois' Cinematheque Francaise, most notably restoring a montage reel from Sergei Eisenstein's abandoned 1931 folk opus, Que Viva Mexico!, which the impressionable youngster had first seen at age five when it masqueraded under producer Sol Lesser's Thunder Over Mexico cut. The director then received some stock from a Russian team shooting in France, and was allowed to work in the Films de Pantheon studio during the four summer weeks it traditionally closed. The result was his only thirty-five-millimeter venture, Rabbit's Moon (B/W, 17 minutes). This fragment of a proposed longer project languished in the Pantheon's vaults until 1971, when Anger reduced it to sixteen-millimeter and scored it with classic doo-wop mixed with a Balinese monkey chant. Rabbit's Moon combines Japanese myth and imagery with the Commedia dell'Arte, the mysteries of sol with those of luna.

    As the director notes in his commentary, what looks to the West like the man in the moon resembles a rabbit to the East, and Japanese children still put out rice cakes for this creature at the full moon. Against the stunning forest Anger constructed in perspective--itself not terribly dissimilar to Midsummer's (Holly)woodland dark and deep--the primal figures of Pierrot (Andre Soubeyran), Harlequin (Claude Revenant), and Columbine (Nadine Valence) enact their timeless triangle. Harlequin, the film's Lucifer surrogate, bedevils Pierrot by juggling invisible balls, planting invisible flowers, and conjuring an eighteenth-century magic lantern that projects an image of Columbine that Pierrot covets. Columbine, however, rejects the clown's loving offer of a full moon; she's a lunar illusion, a hope on the edge of eclipse. Pierrot's soul, symbolized by the hare, leads him into another, more lethal realm; his plummet from the satellite (a jarring dummy toss exorcising the director's contemporaneous suicide attempt) leaves the solar Harlequin triumphant as ever. Anger chose his cast from Marcel Marceau's mime school, and their poses, which he intended to suggest carved ivory figures, are picture-perfect. Revenant's movements, an entrancing trickster prance, are brilliantly contrasted to Soubeyran's hangdog haplessness, while Valence sparkles as a Bijou eidolon.

    UCLA's reconstruction marks, astonishingly, the first time that Rabbit's Moon has appeared in its original left-right image orientation. The film underwent a reversal in reduction, producing a mirror image of Anger's photography. (The reversed-negative is being preserved in sixteen-millimeter and thus does not appear as a supplement.) The original blue tints, interspersed with magical red symbols, are even more otherworldly in this restoration, though a few vertical lines persist. Fantoma's disc provides a handful of silent outtakes.

    NEXT: EAUX D'ARTIFICE


    [Full article]
    22:21
    THE FLOWER CALLED NOWHERE: RABBIT'S MOON REDUX »Dead Pictures

    In 1979, Anger resurrected and condensed Rabbit's Moon as a surprise birthday present for Stan Brakhage's seven-year-old son Roark. This was achieved by skip-printing every other frame and substituting A Raincoat's demented pop ditty, "It Came in the Night," for the earlier doo-wop. (Actually, Anger uses it twice, which somewhat negates the effect; an extended remix would not be out of place here.) This "kiddie version" runs seven minutes and obviously omits much of the original--including, most distressingly, Pierrot's fate--well and truly transforming the film into a slapstick, quasi-music video. There are additional moody shots of clouds obscuring the moon that are not present in the original and are perhaps outtakes.

    For years the only domestic video version of Rabbit's Moon has been the Raincoat cut, though BFI offered the original edition in Volume 2 of its Anger trilogy. Fantoma's sparkling upgrade of the '79 condensation stands, and capers, on its own.

    NEXT: LUCIFER RISING


    [Full article]
    22:21
    THE FLOWER CALLED NOWHERE: SCORPIO RISING »Dead Pictures
    The Films of Kenneth Anger, Volume Two opens with the pivotal picture of the artist's career. After returning stateside and encountering a gang of bikers at Coney Island, he created the most successful underground film of its time. "From the moment that Kenneth Anger's arachnid talents flashed on the silver screen," critic and director Gregory Markopoulos wrote of Scorpio Rising (1963; color, 28 minutes), "everyone knew, indeed felt, that an extraordinary motion picture was being unfurled." Scorpio Rising positively detonated in cinemas, sending shockwaves in every direction. Los Angeles theatre manager Mike Getz, who regularly programmed experimental movies, was found guilty of having exhibited "an obscene film" after an American Nazi Party nimrod was offended by Anger's eroticisation of Third Reich iconography. Prosecutor Warren I. Wolfe, as Hobermann and Rosenbaum recount the trial, "had taken pains to exclude all those who 'customarily enjoyed books and movies'" from his all-female jury, which never viewed the entire film, but was shown instead blown-up stills of Scorpio's male nudity. Susan Sontag, Martin Ritt, and Allen Ginsberg testified for the defense, but to no avail. Fortunately, as it had done for Fireworks, the California State Supreme Court overturned the verdict.

    Partially dedicated to Jack Parsons, the Hell's Angels, and assorted celebrity suicides, Scorpio Rising reflects Anger's own astrological sign, functioning both as Triumph of the Will-styled propaganda and trickster machismo parody. The film follows a gang of motorcyclists from their obsessive work on their bikes to an orgiastic Halloween party and a deadly race. Scorpio (Bruce Byron), the central figure, is an impoverished man's Marlon Brando/James Dean, an absurd fellow with delusions of fascist grandeur. Scorpio devours comic strips, snorts crystal meth, pretends to shoot a menorah and a cross on his tiny television screen, and desecrates an abandoned church in Brooklyn Heights. He's the most fleshed-out of all the director's characters: adrift in dreamland, but with the power to cross over into the waking sleep of this world. Anger pulls no punches as the film accelerates towards annihilation, unleashing the full force of Ra Hoor Khuit, the vengeful wargod who concludes The Book of the Law. His masterstroke is the cultural appropriation of the low-budget Lutheran-produced biblical drama, The Last Road to Jerusalem, a copy of which was, he claims, accidentally delivered to his front porch by a confused postman. (Landis believed it was actually purchased in a camera store.) "With my Hawk's head I peck at the eyes of Jesus as he hangs upon the cross," Crowley wrote in Verse 51; thus does Anger juxtapose Jesus with the heretical Scorpio, the messiah in the temple with Dionysian revelers. It's a return to the Pleasure Dome, but Anger's scope is paradoxically wider here; the involution from gods to men like gods illuminates the madness lurking in the shadows of popular myth. Scorpio is youthcult in full, thorny flower, bringing down the temple of Jehovah and other "crapulous creeds." Ranting and raving to Nazi images, commanding his imaginary armies, he's the inevitable consequence of blind devotion--the dystopian death dance of all mass movements. (A split-second shot of Byron's masked eye powerfully echoes Anger's convulsive cyclopean appearance as Hecate.) The real-life fatal crash that climaxes the film (photographed by Anger on the bikers' last run from Brooklyn to Walden Pond), as startling as it at first seems, is in fact mere punctuation, a point brusquely emphasized by the silver-studded word "END" on a belt that is casually tossed to the floor. We're not, in the final analysis, the demigods we like to think we are.

    Scorpio Rising marks the director's first ironic use of pop songs, a strategy that has provoked many commentators to proclaim this film the forerunner of the music video. Thirteen tunes simultaneously underscore and undermine the visuals, opening with Ricky Nelson's "Fools Rush In (Where Angels Fear to Tread)" as Anger unveils one of the most startling title sequences in motion picture history: Scorpio Rising studded on the back of a biker's leather jacket, with the director's name on his belt. The Randells' "Wind-Up Doll" accompanies shots of toy police cyclists traveling in aimless circles. When the Grim Reaper appears in a greaser's garage to the strains of "My Boyfriend's Back," the viewer understands who the real fatal lover is. The cyclists' party primping to "Blue Velvet" is as narcissistic as Puce's siren's (Anger's camera caresses and teases them), while Scorpio's amphetamine-fueled meltdown to "Point of No Return" and "I Will Follow Him" parodies Pan's Pleasure trip.

    Fantoma offers a new internegative derived from the original reversal rolls, though the usual traces of grain remain. As with the earlier films, the sound is splendid. Scorpio Rising won numerous awards around the world, including First Prize for Documentary at the Poretta Terme Festival of Free Cinema in Italy; it also netted a Golden Mermaid at Rapello and First Prize at Foothill College's Third Annual Independent Filmmakers' Festival.

    Byron wanted money and fame, but Scorpio took him nowhere fast. Powerless to turn the performance to his advantage--Landis depicts him as a clueless creature who "spent his life living up to Kenneth Anger's satirization of him"--vengefully obsessed with the director and his own lost shot at the Big Time, Byron haunted screenings of the film through the years, haranguing audiences. Anger doesn't address Byron's pseudo-stalking in his commentary, but he does complain about the intense smell of the ex-Marine's cat-filled bedroom ("I'm a dog person myself"), expresses amazement that the volatile soldier was ever honorably discharged, doubts the pistol Byron brandishes onscreen was legal, and wonders if the actor stole one of his Nazi flags that appear in the church sequence. (They went missing during production.) He also points out, as many others have, that David Lynch duplicated his use of the Bobby Vinton ballad, and reveals that the Lutheran Church sued him over his sampling of their Grade-Z epic, but the court ruled that he had "fair use" of it. "They should be ashamed to show such a corny film to their children," Anger sniffs. Apparently they are, as the picture has been permanently pre-empted by Scorpio Rising, and exists publicly only as framents in Anger's film. Discussing the climactic death sequence, Anger is unexpectedly defensive: "I'm sorry the fellow was killed," he says, "but it wasn't like I tripped him." He points out that the dead biker's arm tattoo, which has always been difficult to make out, most appropriately reads, "Blessed, Blessed Oblivion."

    NEXT: KUSTOM KAR KOMMANDOS


    [Full article]
    22:21
    THE FLOWER CALLED NOWHERE: THE MAN WE WANT TO HANG »Dead Pictures

    Anger's filmic output slowed to a crawl after Lucifer Rising. He has, however, been busy in recent years, and a splendid supplement to the second set is 2002's The Man We Want to Hang. (The punning title is courtesy of Lord Beaverbrook's Sunday Express attack on Crowley.) This wordless twelve-minute documentary examines thirty artworks either by or about the Great Beast, and was photographed at the October Gallery's 1998 Crowley retrospective. Anger's commentary is especially helpful as he identifies the various works while Adam Rogers' camera pans and zooms (lapsing for a split-second out of focus on one red-and-black-chalk mermaid piece). The film opens with Augustus John's sketch of Crowley, while along the way we see the mage's eerie self-portraits as ancient Chinese mystics with constellated orbs, his interpretations of the various Scarlet Women in his life (a portrait of Leah Sublime [Hirsig] sports a sinister grin like Conrad Veidt in Paul Leni's The Man Who Laughs [1928]), and watercolor landscapes of Stromboli (Anger helpfully points out the tiny tumescent figure in the lower left-hand corner) and Tibet. There are drawings of Adam, Eve, Cain, Abel, and the Serpent, as well as Crowley's vampiric rendition of his follower Gerald Yorke. Of particular interest is a landscape of the Boca de Infierno ("Mouth of Hell"), the Portugese cliff face where Crowley staged his suicide. There's also the guru's sketch of Norman Mudd, whom Anger derides as "one of Crowley's disciples that couldn't hack it," and actually did kill himself. The end credits are followed, most appropriately, by a noose. Anger received, this same year, the Los Angeles Film Critics' Lifetime Achievement Award.

    The Man We Want to Hang looks fine in its digital rendition, and Anatol Liadov's music is perfect accompaniment. Fantoma's second Anger volume is slipcased with another booklet containing more behind-the-scenes photos, as well as appreciations by Guy Maddin and Gus Van Sant, plus additional hosannas from Scorcese. Bobby Beausoleil's essay, "Fallen Angel Blues," poignantly recounts his Freedom Orchestra's attempt to "[reach] out of the darkness to touch the inner light of their better natures." Restoration before-and-afters are included for all pictures except The Man We Want to Hang. The sets make a handsome pair, and sport Lucifer Rising's sphinx/saucer logo on both covers. All films appear in their original fullscreen ratios.

    NEXT: EPILOGUE


    [Full article]
    22:21
    TWERTLE SOUP AND A BOX OF TOOTHPICKS: PINOCCHIO IN OUTER SPACE »Dead Pictures

    One of my earliest childhood memories is of watching, in a state of some mesmerisation, the mysterious creation that is Fred Ladd's and Ray Goossens' Pinocchio in Outer Space (1964) on the late show. I was spending the night at my maternal grandmother's house, which meant I was allowed to stay up at all hours, or at least until local television stations signed off the air in those Dark Days Before Cable. The animated fantasia's surreal images of flying whales, giant crabs, and other creatures have rattled around in my skull to this day, which brings me to Image Entertainment's 2003 DVD. This U.S.-Belgian revision has been dismissed by several Internet commentators, but--however far the story strays from Carlos Collodi's original satirical conception--Pinocchio in Outer Space deserves revisitation, if not precisely reverence.

    The boy's continued mischief has motivated the Blue Fairy to turn the child back into a puppet, who lives with his father Geppetto and dog Fedora in the old man's toy shop. Pinocchio wants to be a boy again, but he's not making much headway in his studies: "The planet Venus is twenty-six million miles from Earth. Mars is thirty-five million miles away. I wish school were a million billion miles away!" Meanwhile, the just-launched Cosmos II satellite has been destroyed--the third in a week's time--by the picture's Terrible Dogfish/Monstro surrogate, an interstellar rogue whale named Astro. When Pinocchio sets off for school the next morning, he's waylaid by the Fox and the Cat (called in this version Sharp and Groovy), and winds up parting with his lunch money for a hypnosis primer. He later encounters interplanetary operative Nurtle the Twertle from Twertle-D, who's overshot his orbit and imagines he's on Mars, where he's been sent to investigate atomic energy on the presumedly dead world. Pinocchio, hoping to haul in Astro with hypnosis and (not incidentally) get out of going to school, climbs aboard Nurtle's spacecraft, and the two journey to the Red Planet.

    At this point, Pinocchio in Outer Space becomes quite interesting. Our adventurers, after encountering a magnetic storm, touch down on Mars and spot a mysterious city, which resembles a futuristic Disneyworld, in the distance. After narrowly escaping being devoured by colossal, drooling sand crabs, Pinocchio and Nurtle explore the city, which upon closer inspection is deserted and disintegrating. The puppet suggests that Astro must be responsible for the destruction--indentations in the ruins reveal ominous whale shapes--and Nurtle agrees that "there's something fishy here, all right." The pair examine the city's underground chambers as organic-looking machines hum eerily. They discover a flowing canal, as well as pits of regular-sized crabs and scorpions, and deduce that the contraptions dispensing radioactive food to the creatures are mutating them into giants. Other monstrosities, including enormous spiders and turtles, make their presence known, and the astronauts flee down a long tunnel. (How this subterranean sequence fired my prepubescent imagination!) The pair also encounter a pod of whales, from which Astro has undoubtedly escaped. A colossal sandstorm begins to blow, and Pinocchio and Nurtle take off in their spacecraft before sand reaches the atomic reactors and the city explodes.

    Astro, of course, awaits with snapping jaws to consume the ship. As the duo drift among swallowed satellites, seemingly doomed to be digested, the Blue Fairy appears to the puppet, inspiring him with the idea of exiting through the creature's spout. (In a nice touch of swish humor, Pinocchio cries, "That's the Blue Fairy!" and Nurtle--to whom she's invisible--skeptically replies, "Sure it is, and I'm the Queen of the Moon.") The ship's stabilizer, alas, is damaged in its trip through the darkened spout, causing the craft to spin. "By the time we get back to Earth," Nurtle informs Pinocchio, "I'll be twertle soup and you a box of toothpicks." Astro is awakened by the commotion and gives chase, only to be hypnotized by the brightly-twirling ship and captured. But re-entry into Earth's atmosphere is deadly, and Pinocchio sacrifices himself to save both the spacecraft and the planet by reversing Astro's spout. Fortunately, the Blue Fairy returns to resurrect him in flesh and blood.

    It's fluff, admittedly, but compelling fluff nonetheless. Some reviewers have found the picture's trio of songs intolerable, but I must confess a grudging admiration for the Fox's ditty, "Doin' the Impossible." Pinocchio is voiced by Peter Lazer, while Nurtle is rendered by Arnold Stang of Top Cat fame. (Most, if not all, of the cast were drawn from radio.) Image offers a colorful transfer of this sixty-five minute feature, with odd bits of grain here and there. Supplements include a still gallery containing poster, lobby card, and production boards. Universal's original six-minute U.S. prologue, which tours the Milky Way, is also included, and the opening "Little Toy Shop" sequence is available for inspection sans titles. Martin Caidin, whose novel Cyborg inspired television's Six Million Dollar Man, is credited as the film's technical advisor.

    Ladd's audio commentary redundantly describes the onscreen action, in addition to praising Animation Director Goossens' work and pointing out the various performers. (For some reason, he identifies Lazer twice.) The film's narrator, Bret Morrison, who was radio's Shadow, is best remembered among cultists for his trailers voicework for Radley Metzger's Audubon Films erotica; he, rather than Fox personator Conrad Jameson, also renders "Doin' the Impossible," as the studio preferred Morrison's silken stylings. Ladd observes that the obliterated city's mushroom cloud took four months to complete, while the feature required four years. He further notes that the cosmic clouds in the background of the penultimate space sequence were often invisible in dense theatrical prints, but Image's transfer renders them distinctly. A separate commentary is included for the prologue, which combines government and privately-made footage with impressive animation effects. Pinocchio in Outer Space appears in its original 1.78:1 ratio (enhanced for widescreen sets), and contains fifteen chapter stops. Image's Dolby Digital Mono disc is as easy on the ears as Mr. Morrison himself.


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    22:21
    1 Tree 1 Lot »The Glenwood Observer
    I had to pick my jaw up off the floor after listening to Mayor Pro-Tem Sandra Anderson Groat say during last week's City Council meeting that preserving or planting ONE TREE would hinder the development of affordable housing. Landscape Architect Randal Romie mentioned several of the benefits of having trees - some environmental, some beautification, but her response is that having a tree would be a maintenance burden on these homeowners. Really? Raking leaves and watering a tree periodically is a burden? Have you seen how much grass is planted at "affordable housing" locations? Grass requires weekly maintenance during the summer, requires much more water and does not provide nearly the same benefits as a grove - or even one single tree - of trees would provide.

    This also got me to thinking that neighborhoods like Glenwood, Arlington Park and Ole Asheboro have tons of old, majestic shade-providing, air cleansing trees and if these areas don't qualify as affordable housing, then I don't know what does. Does she think these neighborhoods would be better off without trees? My very own house is completely shaded by trees on its east side and substantially shaded by a large pecan tree on its south side. I can get by most days without running the AC because of these trees. This would not be a remote possibility if I didn't have those trees. I would be baking in this house.

    I've never heard of a more reasonable idea than keeping or planting one measly tree in a yard. This is absolutely a social justice issue...that somehow poor people don't deserve trees is absurd. The reality is, because they are low-income, they are less likely to plant a tree after moving in, but if it is already there (adding $3 to the cost of the house per City research on the issue), they will reap the benefits of that tree for years.

    Seriously, Mayor Pro Tem Groat, please think a little bit more deeper on this subject.

    [Full article]
    22:21
    An Open Letter to our New City Manager »The Glenwood Observer
    Dear Mr. Young -

    Welcome to Greensboro. As a relative newcomer to this city myself, I can tell you that it is a wonderful city in which to live. Not everyone living here is convinced of this, but I think you'll find there is a tremendous number of people actively engaged on a daily basis working to make Greensboro an even better city. Now, this isn't to say it isn't a challenge at times to see progress towards improving the quality of life and it can be difficult to measure and sometimes the barriers to progress can be frustrating.

    My guess is that right now you are busy looking for a new neighborhood to call home. You'll get plenty of advice on where to live based on good schools, safety, proximity to this park or that shopping center, quiet, easy of walking, shortest commute, history, etc. Ultimately, you'll pick a neighborhood based on what is best for you and your family and people will analyze your decision much they way our current President is analyzed for which school his daughters go to, to the church they attend. Expect this to happen here too because expectations for your tenure hear are very high as we (hopefully) emerge from a very rocky relationship with our most recent City Manager. And, frankly, this is the first time, we've gone outside of Greensboro to find someone to lead our City. (BTW, there are tons of Ohioans here in Greensboro, including my wife, so you should feel mostly at home.)

    I remember shopping for a home here with a well-respected real estate agent who virtually insisted we look at neighborhoods "north of the tracks" because that is where young families live. We are also told that only "those people, you know the ones I mean" take public transportation. Yet, our criteria was to live as close as possible to downtown, to be able to walk places, have access to green space, mature trees, older homes and a tight-knight proactive community. We found this in spades in Glenwood - one of Greensboro's oldest, but less distinguished planned developments. Most of the homes date from the early part of the 20th Century, but haven't had the care of homes in Fisher Park, Aycock, Irving Park,College Hill or the restoration efforts of ones in Southside. From my front door on Haywood I'm a 20 minute walk to our neighborhood library, a 30 minute walk to City Hall, our revitalized downtown, and a 10 minute walk to UNCG. We are now also a 3 minute bike ride to the first part of the new Downtown Greenway and a half block away from Steelman Park - complete with its basketball courts, community garden, creek, and playground equipment. Unfortunately, recent efforts to revitalize this park were turned away at the last minute by the Interim Manager Bob Morgan in a budgetary move this past summer relegating hours of volunteer community work to the dustbin.

    Amidst the many benefits of living in Glenwood are some stark realities -more tenants than homeowners, lack of sidewalks, vacant homes harboring drug users and prostitutes, a lack of healthful, community-minded places to eat and shop. We have two neighborhood convenience stores whose primary target market are alcoholics. Glenwood is typical of probably many of the close-in neighborhoods of Dayton that suffered when development began being concentrated farther away from the center of the City. Neighborhoods south of downtown, in the historically black and low-income portions of the City have been particularly hit hard by the flight of infrastructure spending to newer areas. It's hard for many of us in Glenwood to hear about the need to spread infrastructure spending around the City to be fair to all neighborhoods when the neighborhoods south of Lee St, south of the tracks suffered a disproportionate amount of investment for many, many years. Parity as a spending policy isn't fair.

    In short, Glenwood is a perfect microcosm about what is great about this City and also what challenges it. We look forward to you visiting our neighborhood. We'd be glad to give you a tour and show you around. Or, if you'd just like to attend a neighborhood meeting, you can join us on the first Thursday of the month at 7pm at the Glenwood Recreation Center on Coliseum Drive.

    Again, welcome to Greensboro, Mr. Young. We look forward to working with you to improve our neighborhood.


    [Full article]
    22:21
    Continuing Problems with Implementation of RUCO »The Glenwood Observer
    If you open up a business in Greensboro without a business privilege license, you will get a letter from the City informing you of your requirement to get one.

    If you have an overgrown lawn or an abandoned vehicle, you will get a letter from the City informing you of your need to correct the problem.

    BUT, if you are renting a property that doesn't have a RUCO certificate, you will NOT get a letter from the City, according to Local Ordinance Enforcement. LOE states that it can not enforce RUCO until someone moves in. Why they don't understand that a letter to the property owner informing them of the need to come into compliance with the certificate requirement would help with compliance, I can't understand.

    Imagine renting the property at 912 Haywood which doesn't have a RUCO Certificate, moving in and gettled settled into your new home as a tenant, only to have the City then come in and say the house does not meet minimum housing conditions. Whose life is disrupted? The landlords? No, it is the tenants, who, depending on the amount of repairs needed could be inconvenienced enough that they will need to move out and find a new place. This change in policy would be simple and cost the City practically nothing...in fact, it could save the city some money in enforcement if they can voluntarily get property owners to comply.


    [Full article]
    22:21
    Does RUCO work? »The Glenwood Observer
    With much fanfare the City unveiled the Rental Unit Certificate of Occupancy ordinance requiring that property owners renting out their homes or apartments get a certificate from the City indicating that the unit meets basic health and safety standards before it is occupied. Being that Glenwood has a large number of rental homes, I took it upon myself to spend two weeks back in April using the City's RUCO database to see whether homes which had For Rent signs in their yards or were listed on craigslist.org had a RUCO certificate. Of the 17 properties I looked up in the database, only 3 had existing certificates. Initially I was told by Local Ordinance Enforcement staff that if we submitted addresses to them they would send a letter out to the property owners informing them of the new ordinance. Two weeks later I found out in a follow-up phone call that not all staff were on the same page, and that, in fact, they do not send out letters to property owners when notified of a violation.

    Here is the problem, per city staff, enforcement will only be taken if someone has moved into the unit and only then if there is evidence of a lease. I know that in one case, students living in a home two doors from me, had only a verbal lease but were living in a home without a certificate. They moved out at the end of May and now new tenants have moved in to the same house. Once again I looked the address up in the City's database and there is still no certificate for the property and so today I called them again. My sense with this issue, and with the front yard parking ordinance, the City is happy with the image that they are doing something about an issue by creating an ordinance, but an ordinance is only so good as the willingness to enforce it. The City really needs to step up to the plate in the early days of these ordinances to show that they mean business.

    At some point, I will plan to request from the City a listing of all of the violations of RUCO since the law went into effect and what actions the City has taken. Same for the Front Yard Parking Ordinance. Maybe there are some other folks out there interested in accountability who would be willing to help me with this task. In the meantime, I will continue to report violations of the RUCO ordinance to the City's LOE.

    [Full article]
    22:21
    Front Yard Parking Ordinance Enforcement »The Glenwood Observer
    Yesterday I submitted a list of 298 indiviudal properties to the City's Planning Department in the Glenwood neighborhood that are not currently in compliance with the new Front Yard Parking Ordinance that went into effect on July 15. This was based on a windshield survey done in mid-June and does not include the portions of Glenwood west of Aycock or south of Florida. I am not clear as of right now how enforcement will be handled or what the process is for compliance or what the penalties are for not complying. I imagine that, like the RUCO ordinance before it, it will take some time to work through the initial deluge the city will get on out of compliance properties. As far as I know, the City has only 2 inspectors assigned to handle this work at this time. I think it would be in the best interest of the City and its citizens if it could figure out a way to provide some additional staff, even on a temporary basis, to work through this backlog in the first year; otherwise, it will be frustrating for everyone involved to have an ordinance that can't really be enforced due to lack of staff.

    [Full article]
    22:21
    Front Yard Parking Update »The Glenwood Observer
    Today's News & Record ran a story talking about the difficulties the City is having in implementing the new Front Yard Parking Ordinance, chiefly the volume of calls it has generated. I think Lorraine Ahearn gave a very fair reporting of the issue. (Lorraine contated me last Friday and we talked about half an hour on the topic.) It did make me cringe to hear the city refer to some of the complainants as vigilantes. I don't think that is the right word to use for people who are trying to help the city become aware of properties that violate the ordinance.

    [Full article]
    22:21
    Grove St. Revitalization - What's next? »The Glenwood Observer
    Over at Ed Cone's place, there is a bit of discussion on our own Grove St.

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    22:21
    High Pt. Rd, but not Lee St. »The Glenwood Observer
    Despite the following release from the City about an upcoming workshop to talk about the streetscaping for High Point Road/Lee Street Corridor, the reality is that only the section from Veasley Road near Four Seasons and the Coliseum is funded.

    Below is the release from the City about the workshop on Sept. 22. The City is only pursuing High Point Road right now and the the remainder is unfunded despite the passage of the $148 million dollar transportation bonds last November. For reasons unknown the me - but perhaps to spread the funds around the City - only half of the estimated $15 million dollar cost of the project was funded. To complete the rest of the project would require releasing more bonds in 5-7 years according to Adam Fishcher, the Acting Director of Transportation. Which, with crude calculations will tell you that it will be 2020 before Lee St. is upgraded. Once again the Glenwood neighborhood gets the short end of the stick.

    What do you want to see in Greensboro’s Central Gateway Corridor? Members of the Central Gateway Corridor Partnership want to hear your ideas about how to best implement the recommendations of the High Point Road/West Lee Street Corridor Plan.
    To kick off this process, a public workshop will be held on Tuesday September 22, 2009 from 6:00 pm to 8:00 pm at the Doubletree Hotel located at 3030 High Point Road. Everyone with an interest in the corridor is encouraged to participate. See the attached flier.
    Workshop participants will identify preferred design standards and regulatory approaches for the High Point Road/ West Lee Street corridor between South Eugene Street and Veasley Street.
    This is the first in a series of public meetings over the next several months related to the development of design standards for the corridor. The results of these workshops will be used by the Central Gateway Corridor Partnership to begin developing specific design guidelines and regulatory tools to be used as new development and redevelopment proposals are made in the corridor. These design standards will complement the streetscape planning and design process currently underway.
    Phase I of the High Point Road/West Lee Street Corridor Plan was adopted by the City Council in December 2008. The Central Gateway Corridor Partnership was formed to guide the implementation of the plan’s vision and recommendations. The plan can be downloaded from the City of Greensboro website: www.greensboro-nc.gov.


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    22:21
    Housing Stabilization Grant Funds to Come to Glenwood »The Glenwood Observer
    Folks involved in the neighborhood association have probably heard this news before and I'm sure most of us fall in to the category of "we'll believe it when we see it." But, let's hope that this time it is for real. The number of abandoned, vacant, and condemned houses in Glenwood seems to get greater every day. I look forward to hearing more details from the City on what their process will be for identifying and purchasing properties. We definitely need more homeowners in our neighborhood.

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    22:21
    My House is a Nuisance, Part 2 »The Glenwood Observer
    Back on June 19th, I posted about my experince being hit with a nuisance violation for what I felt were rather petty items. Today, I got a notice to call the Inspector which I did knowing that it was probably not good news. I have been advised to remove the logs that create a border between my property and the adjoining property; remove a small pile of bricks which is located by my back deck which nobody can see unless you are physically standing in my back yard, and to clean up a pile of brush standing next to my new compost pile. I was upset because the original complaint cited "logs in the driveway" and "brush piles". Both of these issues I addressed. The brick pile (from a torn down chimney when we put on a new roof) was a new one.

    I have been told that if I remove the mortar from the bricks (the pile is about 4 square feet) and stack them that it would not be an issue and I'm told that I have to move the logs placed end to end because if I don't they will rot and they are not an approved border material - never mind that there is no such thing as a list of approved border materials, but that the Inspector is classifying logs neatly placed end to end as "yard debris". When asked what problem these logs pose, I was told that they will rot and "create a mess." I let him know that the rotting is a good thing as I have very little soil on my property and that this will be a good thing for my property.

    The reality is that given the vagueness of the nuisance ordinance, the inspectors have no choice but to enforce it equally. My small pile of bricks isn't differentiated from the huge pile in someone else's yard. It is believed that the ordinace addressing nuisances (Chapter 17 of the municipal code) dates to the 70's and has not been updated. It NEEDS to be updated. The problem with the way it is written currently is that it creates inefficiency among the inspection staff as it gives them no leeway to decide which properties need more attention than others; and so, in many cases, they are forced to spend time on minor violations like mine.

    I really don't need another wagon to haul around right now, but I can't see any other option than to push for the updating of the nuisance ordinances so that our limited city staff resources are used appropriately and are not wasting their time on minor items like my property. (It's of special note that my house never would have brought any attention if it wasn't for local slumlord Bulent Bediz's dislike for me. No other rational person or neighbor can care less about the fact that I have a few bricks lying on the ground or a few twigs lying in a pile in the back yard.) That being said, the City isn't really left with many options since the code does not allow them any leeway.

    Part 3 to come....I'm sure of it.

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    22:21
    N&R Article on Change Coming to Glenwood »The Glenwood Observer
    Joe Killian, in today's N&R, writes about some of the changes occurring and looming for Glenwood continuing a discussion started here on this blog a few days ago. I'm sure he's right that some people fear the changes; but I'm sure there are several that welcome the changes and others, like me, who are waiting to see how we as a neighborhood can help shape the change that's coming. Rather than change happening to us, I'm hopeful that change will include the existing homeowners in the neighborhood.

    Even with our neighborhood plan, there are companies out there including Skeen Group and Ray Realty who believe that rezoning properties for a use other than planned for in the neighborhood plan is just a minor incovenience. Ray Realty is currently advertising their property fronting Freeman Mill as potential for commercial development when our plan clearly states that it is single-family residential, and, of course, Skeen proposed eliminating the zoning associated with 46 homes so that it could propose a massive student housing development which would have required a change in zoning.

    And now we also know that many homes that Bulent Bediz owned, including those that he had in his son's name of David Bediz, are going to auction at the courthouse next Wednesday, Oct. 7th. A large number of homes becoming available is usually very attractive to investors especially since many of the Bediz homes are clustered close to each other.

    I appreciated that Killian highlighted the fact that, in spite of what Mark Lindsay at the Skeen Group indicated to me, that the words they were using in their letters to residents were attempts instilling fear in the residents. No one likes to be faced with a choice of: If you don't do this now, X will happen. It's a common tactic used among scam artists and Glenwood would do well to keep our eyes and ears open to these sorts of developments.


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    22:21
    National Night Out on August 4th »The Glenwood Observer
    Come join your neighbors in a Community Potluck Picnic! Glenwood is holding this year's National Night Out at Steelman Park on Tuesday, August 4th, from 6pm-8pm.

    GGNA will be serving up hot dogs, hamburgers and drinks for the event. Bring a dish to share and come hang out with fellow Glenwood residents!

    * * *National Night Out is designed to:
    Heighten crime & drug prevention awareness.
    Generate support for, and participation in, local anti-crime programs.
    Strengthen neighborhood spirit and police-community partnerships.

    Send a message to criminals that neighborhoods are organized and fighting back!

    * * *Steelman Park is located on the 900 block of Highland Avenue & Gregory Street.

    We hope to see you there!

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    22:21
    Predatory House Buyers in Glenwood, or How Not to do Development in Greensboro »The Glenwood Observer
    Changes are coming to Glenwood, that's for sure.

    1.This story ran last night on Fox 8 talking about Commercial Broker Skeen Group trying to buy houses from unsuspecting property owners in Glenwood. From a letter dated September 17, Mark Lindsay of the Skeen Group writes (in italics):

    As I have discussed in previous mailings, I represent a very reputable and capable out of state developer who continues to evaluate the area for potential student housing sites. At this point they have narrowed the search to two sites as shown on the next page.

    [The map shows two areas. Site 1 is bounded by Midway, Holbrook, Fuller and Warren. Site 2 is bounded by Haywood, Richardson (roughly), Neal St. and S. Aycock. Site 2 is comprised of 47 individual lots with existing houses on them. In general, Site 1 is a combination of vacant lots and built lots with homes that are generally in poor shape.]

    Last Wednesday and Thursday the UNCG Board of Trustees met to finalize a decision on whether or not to renovate the "Quad" or to rebuild and, as you may have read, the decision was made to renovate. The next decision was to decide what to do with the displaced students during this renovation, which is driving most developer's decisions in the area.

    As I have discussed with many of the property owners who have contacted me, there are several factors that must be considered:
    1. Time frame (developer needs about 18-24 months to complete the entire process and open)
    a. Must be ready to open at begining of Fall Semester (Fall 2011)
    b. Thus window of opportunity is rapidly closing.
    2. Zoning (RM-26 or 26 units per acre. [Site 1 contains 34 lots, 8 of which are zoned mixed use commercial, 2 single family duplex and the rest single family. Site 2 is 100% zoned single family according to the Future Land Use Map adopted by the neighborhood association and the City Council.]
    3. Parking
    4. Neighborhood and Community Support [No one has contacted the neighborhood association yet. ]
    5. Governmental support for permits, etc.
    6. Pricing based on expected rents.

    The developer also has criteria which both of the potential sites appear to meet:
    1. 7-10 acres
    2. Walking distance to campus
    3. Visibility
    4. Security
    5. Potential for rezoning. (I suppose anything is possible, but it is not genuine to suggest these areas can be rezoned without first generating support from the neighborhood association.]
    6. Property owners willing to sell.

    At this point we would need each owner to suggest a price for his or her property. With all things
    considered, the developer would then evaluate which site is the most feasible based on price and be r
    ready to take the next step in making an offer during the next few weeks.

    Again, the initial permitting and rezoning process will take anywhere from 4-8 months, so it would not
    be an immediate impact. REALTORS will be available to help with any relocation needs as well.

    Sincerely,

    Mark J. Lindsay
    Broker, NC REALTOR

    2. UNCG has just announced that it is planning to increase the student housing on campus to 50% of all
    students from its current goal of 25%. This results in the need for almost 4,000 new beds - 1000 of them
    by 2011 and the rest by 2020. There is not enough capacity on the existing campus to accomodate
    this growth which has the university looking at the northern part of the Glenwood neighborhood (Aycock to
    Dillard and W. Lee St. to Haywood) to meet this demand. They are also looking at the Rolane mill
    property but it doesn't meet many of their criteria.

    3. Recently, local slumlord Bulent Bediz, owner of 60+ properties in Glenwood, went through bankruptcy
    and lost several homes to foreclosure. One packet of these homes totaling 12 was initially targeted
    by Gate City Corporation (a subsidiary of CFGG) for purchase but at the last minute they were outbid
    by Atlantic Coast Commercial; however ACC's financing fell through and now those 12 homes are in limbo
    once again, assumedly still owned by the bank.

    It is likely Glenwood will look very different in 10 years. There is the potential for positive results, but
    without the support and involvement of local Glenwood residents, there is also the potential to lose
    much of what makes Glenwood a great neighborhood.


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    22:21
    The Music Is Back »The Glenwood Observer
    Sometime this past spring the music stopped. I don't know if it was the heat of the summer or just a temporary hiatus, but I had gotten used to hearing the glorifying and the shaken tambourine every Sunday morning...and then silence. (Sorry birds and bugs...I'm not discounting your music.) Today it is great to hear the joyful singing again. People gathered in the front yard, shaking tambourines, singing hallelulah and otherwise creating some welcome music for a Sunday morning. I can't say I know what these gatherings are or for whom or for why...only that I'm glad it's back...and that I hope it will return next Sunday too.

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    22:21
    The Skeen Group's Puzzling Development Approach »The Glenwood Observer
    Joe Killian, in today's News & Record, tackles the unfolding story of the Skeen Group's role in a proposed development of student housing in the Glenwood neighborhood. Mark Lindsay, with the Skeen Group, says that one way or another, the deal will be done by the end of October because the developer has a timeline of opening the housing in 2011.

    They will be presenting their proposals to the GGNA Board of Directors on Thursday, October 15th. In addition, an unidentified group of people has been distributing fliers around the Glenwood neighborhood for a meeting to be held on October 20th at The HIVE to protest the Skeen Group's/Dinerstein's efforts.

    The whole process is likely a waste of time. Either Dinerstein, based out of TX, doesn't have a firm grasp of how the local development process works or they are getting bad advice from the Skeen Group. With a Neighborhood Plan in place, attempts to rezone property from its designated future land use, becomes more difficult.

    What is especially puzzling is the strategy Skeen Group is employing here. Mark Lindsay indicated he has followed the implementation of the Glenwood Neighborhood Plan - even attending the City Council meeting where it was adopted. Yet, he decided to float the idea among 49 different property owners before floating it in front of the the one group it would need to get buy in from - the Greater Glenwood Neighborhood Association. It seems that a smarter decision would have been to come before the GGNA prior to wasting their own time trying to broker deals among 49 different property owners, but that was their choice.




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    22:21
    Truth in Advertising? »The Glenwood Observer
    From a house on Gregory St....taken today.




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    22:21
    UNCG Proposing Pedestrian Underpass »The Glenwood Observer
    UNCG is inviting surrounding neighborhoods to participate in a discussion to construct a Pedestrian Underpass at Forest St. underneath the railroad. From Mike Byers at UNCG,

    UNCG will host a Public Involvement Meeting to discuss plans for a Railroad Pedestrian Underpass project. The meeting is scheduled for 6:30 PM on Wednesday, August 12, 2009 to be held in the Alexander Room of the Elliot University Center located at 507 Stirling Street. Parking is available directly across the street in the Walker Avenue Parking Deck.

    Stephanie Hachem with Kimley-Horn and Associates will conduct the presentation and description of the project as well as invite public input and comment regarding the project.

    Please attend this meeting and pass this invitation along to others who might be interested.

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    22:21
    Update on Front Yark Parking Ordinance »The Glenwood Observer
    I recently attended a Greensboro Neighborhood Congress Issues Committee Meeting where I had the chance to relay my concerns about the Front Yard Parking Ordinance to Fred Boateng with the City's Zoning Department. During this meeting, he informed that the City will not begin enforcement activities until October 15th at which points fines for non-compliance can be issued to the tune of $50/day. Enforcement will be conducted by the City's Zoning Department and NOT the Police Department. The City has hired a temporary staff person and shifted 2 people to assist with the initial workload. They are seeking to bring on an additional full-time person which may or may not be possible given the current hiring freeze. To date, the City has over 700 complaints. I was not able to verify whether the list I sent to the City of 298 addresses is part of this number.

    To clarify the story that was written in the News & Record on this topic, the following is important to know.

    1. Rawls Howard, with the City's Zoning Department issued a request of all neighborhoods (through the Neighborhood Congress) in April of this year to help the City identify any homes that would not be in compliance when the ordinance went into effect on July 15th so that the City could do some pre-education.
    2. On May 18th, I posted on this blog, my preliminary findings.
    3. On July 21, I sent the spreadsheet upon which my blog was based to Rawls Howard with the following email:

    Rawls -

    Attached is a spreadsheet with 298 addresses in the Glenwood neighborhood that, based on my interpretation of the new Front Yard Parking Ordinance, are out of compliance. (Some clarifying notes are provided where I thought it would be helpful.) These addresses were compiled doing a windshield survey during mid and late June, 2009. I'm submitting this to you as a resident of Glenwood (1007 Haywood St.). From my stand point, the ones most critical to addressing are the addresses where the 40% front yard threshold is exceeded. A majority of the other addresses fall into what I call the "grass and gravel" category. Typically, there was gravel placed for a driveway at some point in the past, but now grass grows around, within and over top of the pad, and has worn away to reveal dirt patches and/or the gravel pad does not have a defined edge.

    In submitting this I have a few questions that I am unable to derive from the ordinance.

    1. How will compliance be handled? A letter (to property owner or tenant)? A notice posted to the door?
    2. How long does the property owner have to come into compliance once they have been notified?
    3. What are the penalties for not bringing a property into compliance?

    Thanks for your time. I have high hopes that this ordinace will be a key piece in making the Glenwood neighborhood more attractive.


    3. Rawls responded on the same day asking for the neighborhood association (note the above email was NOT sent on behalf of GGNA) to prioritize the list of violations to which I provided the following response:

    Rawls -

    I had been giving this some thought. I did not submit the list on behalf of the Glenwood Neighborhood Association - in fact I don't think they are all in favor of strict enforcement, which I am. As such, my opinion is that all of these properties be treated equally under the ordinance and it is not my job to prioritize or select which ones the City chooses to enforce. I would prefer to see action on all of them - at least in the form of some communication from the City. If you don't have enough staff (which I understand), I'd rather take my case to City Council to request they find you additional temporary staff to deal with the increased workload created by passing the ordinance.

    I've cc:ed my district representative, Dianne Bellamy-Small on this correspondence so she is aware of the challenges you are facing in implementing the ordinance.

    Thanks for you understanding and I look forward to continue to work with the City in improving the quality of life in Glenwood.

    Once enforcement begins, fines can be levied until it reaches $500. I was concerned that homeowners (not landlords) who did not have the ability to pay to bring their property up to code nor do they have the ability to comply with the ordinance by parking on the street that the City provide some mechanism of relief to assist this homeowner with coming into compliance. The City is going to look into a program by which, in using a currently defined definition of poverty, or low-income, they would be enabled to assist a homeowner with compliance. Two important notes, a person is out of compliance when the City is contacted about a potential non-compliance by a concerned citizen, OR a city employee that has information about a non-conforming property is required to notify the resident that they are in non-compliance.

    The reality is that in Glenwood, many people will be able to comply with this ordinance by simply beginning to park on the street. In other words, there is a distinction between not wanting to comply and not having the ability to comply. I have no doubt that this raises concerns about vandalism and property theft and "property rights", but this is going to be an available solution for many people. Not complying will not be an option. Ironically, or not, having more cars parked on the street would have a net effect of causing traffic through the neighborhood to slow down.

    In such cases, where there are site limitations to comply with the ordinance, a homeowner can make an application to the City's Technical Review Committee to review their specific circumstances.

    And, like nuisance ordinances, noise ordinances and other neighborhood issues, the effectiveness of this ordinance in contributing to a cleaner, more aesthetic neighborhood relies, in part, on citizens taking a role in identyifying properties that are not in compliance. To do so, call the Planning Department at 373-2144.

    If you have further questions, or want to see a copy of the Frequently Asked Questions, you can contact Fred Boateng at 433.7258 or fred.boateng@greensboro-nc.gov.




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    22:21
    Why I Can't Vote for Ben Holder »The Glenwood Observer
    Man rides into Glenwood and comes to the neighborhood meeting and invites everyone to a fish fry without telling them he is running for City Council. That man is Ben Holder and that is a strange way to introduce yourself to your new neighbors.

    Man listens to one resident in Warnersville about alleged problems associated with the brand new public art installed on the Greenway that was over a year in the making with the help of the entire Warnersville community. Gathers 17 signatures to present to City Council as proof the neighborhood wants the benches removed. Then states on his own blog:

    I also said moving the benches would NOT solve the problem. Guess what? Keeping them there won't solve it either.

    Huh? So he was for the benches after he was against them. The bench was public art belonging to the entire community and city, not just 17 residents. He could've have used his energy and effort to protect the benches and keep a conversation going about the bigger public problem. Instead, legitimate users of the Greenway and the people in the Warnersville community who worked alongside the City and Action Greensboro to find an honorable way to portray the history of the community are left with nothing more than a concrete pad. Worse, in my opinion, he rode into Warnersville and ended up pitting neighbor against neighbor - you're either for the benches or you are against them.

    It took work to bring a piece of beautiful piece of public art to a part of town that could desperately use some, and Ben played the starring role in having them removed. Ben may be great at digging up dirt, but I'm more interested in having a representative on council that I can trust. There is more than one way to improve the community and work for its residents and I hope Ben will do that - I just don't think City Council is the right arena for him this time.

    Lastly, I want a politician to be "for" something, and not just running because he doesn't like our current representative on council. I get the feeling that he is more interested in defeating Dianne Bellamy-Small than he is in listening to all residents.

    As far as being a neighbor, I hope that once the election season is over that Ben will take some time to get to know Glenwood and understand its issues and its character...we can always use volunteers to help improve our neighborhood.


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    22:21
    20 Sustainability Trends for 2009-2010 »Sustainable Greensboro
    I found this article today on the Environmental Leader website. I think it is fascinating to think that companies will begin competing on issues of sustainability rather than on low price or convenience. The changes are happening rapidly.




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    22:21
    Bring Your Sustainability Ideas on Tuesday »Sustainable Greensboro

    The City of Greensboro and the Community Sustainability Council would like your input on strategies for the City’s Energy Efficiency and Conservation Block Grant application.

    This will build on priorities identified in public meetings held this summer. Feel free to print or forward this email or the attached flyer to anyone you think may be interested.

    Date: Tuesday, October 13th

    Two opportunities to attend: 12 to 1:30 or 6:30 to 8

    Where: The Nussbaum Room of the Central Library, 219 N. Church Street

    Free parking will be available in the Church Street Deck

    For more information, contact Sue Schwartz at sue.schwartz@greensboro-nc.gov or 373-2349, or visit the CSC website at www.greensboro-nc.gov/citygovernment/sustainability



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    22:21
    Bringing Nature Home »Sustainable Greensboro
    For those of you just planning for the weekend, you may want to include a trip over to the NC Botanical Garden in Chapel Hill on Sunday, October 11th for the 10th Annual Jenny Elder Fitch Memorial Lecture with author Dough Tallamy entitled "Bringing Nature Home: How Native Plants Sustain Wildlife in Our Gardens". The lecture will take place at 2pm in their brand new Education Center. It is free but they ask you to call to reserve a seat: 919-962-0522.

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    22:21
    Build a Rain Garden »Sustainable Greensboro
    This is a great class being offered by the County Extension Office...not to mention a great bargain at only $5. More rain gardens in Greensboro can go a long way to improving the quality of water in our creeks and streams.

    Growing the Greenway
    Environmental Educational Series

    Aesthetically-pleasing Rain Gardens

    October 18th
    4:00 pm
    Greensboro Arboretum
    401 Ashland Drive

    October 20th
    6:30 pm
    Guilford County Agricultural Center
    3309 Burlington Road

    October 22nd
    6:30 pm
    Bur-Mil Wildlife Education Center
    5834 Bur-Mil Club Road

    While rain gardens effectively help manage water (those wet spots in your yard) in the landscape, they are not always aesthetically pleasing. This lecture will show you how to construct a rain garden and how beautiful they can be.

    TO REGISTER: Mail your payment to: Rain Garden Class, 3309 Burlington Road, Greensboro, NC 27405. Make sure to indicate which class date you are registering for.

    Class Fee is $5.00

    Make check or money order (no cash) payable to:

    Guilford Extension Advisory Council


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    22:21
    Debating LEED »Sustainable Greensboro
    In the October 2009 issue of GOOD magazine, Jacob Gordon criticizes the shortcomings of LEED as a measure of a building's sustainability. In a follow-up commnent, Joel McKeller, blogger at Reallife LEED defends the LEED rating system. I think it is good practice to look at both sides of the argument for and against LEED. Like any rating system, LEED is not perfect, and my biggest criticism of it has been that it doesn't measure long-term performance, and that the points system is weighted too heavily on the building itself and not site selection and site development. But, by any measure, it appears LEED is committed to evolving its rating system as their understanding (and the science of) sustainability evolves. It is also good to see that there are competing rating systems out there in the "ideaplace" that will either push LEED along or, even replace it.

    Either way, it looks like third-party certification and accountability to it may be one of the most significant eco-trends.


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    22:21
    Economy: What's it's Future »Sustainable Greensboro
    In a post today from the Corporate Social Responsibility Newswire, Francesca Rheannon highlights the status of some current alternative thinking about our economic future. Included is the highlight of a short conversation she has with John DeGraaf who is executive director of Take Back Your Time in which she asks him what an economy is for. His response: He says an economy is for "the greatest good for the greatest number over the long haul."

    Which sounds like another way to say an economy should aim for sustainability. The closure of the Dell plant in eastern Forsyth County being reported on today would be a good case study to see how that economic approach fares in comparison to, not only John DeGraaf's, but the other folks Rheannon mentions in her article. What part of the sustainability paradigm does the economic development associated with the development of the Dell plant fail?

    A couple of thoughts on the closure of Dell:
    1) Is spending 32 million dollars to benefit a single company whose headquarters are located out of state beneficial to the corporation or to the local economy?
    2) The dollars given to Dell did not direct Dell to become a steward of the local economy or the local quality of life.
    3) Could that economic development funds be used to create and nurture companies locally. Is that a fair and equitable approach to economic development.
    4) The incentives tied to the development of the Dell plant shows the triumph of short term thinking over long-term planning. In a world where technology changes rapidly, did we really think they would always be producing desktop computers or were they building a plant that could accomodate the change in technology.

    Perhaps the loss of Dell, like the decline of textiles and tobacco will once again provide us the impetus to the one economy that continues to thrive - the local economy. Once again, an over reliance on one solution to our economic future has proven disastrous. One must wonder if we are going down the same path with the development of the aerotropolis. We should focus on buildiing a resilient, local economy and not one that is focused on a cycle of capturing short-term trends.


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    22:21
    Engaging People in Sustainability Discussions - 2 Upcoming Events »Sustainable Greensboro
    Face to Face Greensboro, an organization started by young(ish) Greensboro residents dedicated to discussing current issues "face to face" will be holding a couple of upcoming community conversations they are calling Soapbox Salons.

    On November 23 at 6:30 pm, they will be meeting at the East White Oak Community Center for a discussion with Rev. Nelson Johnson of the Beloved Community Center on "Green Jobs and Low-Income Families."

    On December 10 at 6:30 pm, they will be meeting at the New Garden Friends Meeting House to discuss "Simple Living in a Complex Age" with Dr. Charlie Headington.

    These are very timely topics and Face to Face does a great job of engaging everyone in participating in the discussion.

    You can get details by emailing info@facetofacegso.org or visit them on Facebook.


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    22:21
    Green Places in Urban Spaces - Upcoming Conference »Sustainable Greensboro
    This upcoming conference in Raleigh seems tailor made for the many issues and opportunities Sustainable Greensboro will be involved in. Hope some of you can make it!



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    22:21
    Growing a Local Foods Movement »Sustainable Greensboro
    Without a doubt Greensboro is seeing a tremendous growth in interest in supporting the growing and use of local foods. This past year saw the first Community Gardens Tour, breaking ground of the Edible Garden at the Children's Museum, the start of the Locavore Makeover Project, the creation of the Community Garden at Dunleith by the folks of Urban Harvest and an increasing commitment by local restaurateurs to use locally-grown foods. This emphasis has even lead to growing pains at the Farmer's Curb Market on Yanceyville. There was even a conference at UNCG on growing gardens, and, if I remember correctly, UNCG is even proposing to build a food garden on campus.

    This growth in interest is welcome and encouraging....and there is room for more growth of this local movement. So, how will this happen and who is going to lead it? There was an earlier effort this year by the City Parks & Rec department to get all the stakeholders at the table to see about finding local City-owned properties that could be used to grow food. I haven't received any emails from the group lately, so I'm not sure what happened with this group.

    I certainly think there is an opportunity for the City, in its request for the energy efficiency grants that will come to the city as part of the stimulus funds, to seek funding to hire a local foods coordinator. This person does not have to be a City employee, but they could be the fiscal agent...or pass through for this funding which could then be used to fund a position either within the Extension Service or through a local non-profit.

    There is plenty of room in the City to grow more food - not just for restaurants - but for homes and schools and institutions, but it won't happen with the current patchwork infrastructure in place of volunteers. What could be accomplished with the hiring of a Local Foods Coordinator?
    • Assist neighborhoods with the logistics and planning for community gardens
    • Assist agencies, institutions, and individuals with the logistics and planning for growing of local food.
    • Act as a liaison between those who are growing and those that are looking for a supply of local foods
    • Develop a comprehensive local foods policy, provide recommendations for the necessary ordinances required to protect growth of this portion of the economy.
    • Staff a Local Foods Coalition that could bring together the Ag Extension Service, the universities, and local foods professionals to exchange information and knowledge.
    • Assist with the identification and establishment of additional farmer's markets in the City. (The growing pains at the current Farmer's Market, I believe, are a key sign that we need additional alternatives to purchasing local food other than on Wednesdays and Saturdays on Yanceyville.)
    There may be others, but for the amount of funds it would require to have such a position, the benefits to our health, improved quality of life, and local economy would be invaluable. If you think this is a worthwhile idea, I would encourage people to go to the City's next forum to collect ideas for this grant money on Tuesday, October 13th at the Nussbaum Room of the Library. The times are 12-1:30pm and 6:30-8:00pm.


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    22:21
    Local Economy Conference coming to the Southeast »Sustainable Greensboro
    The Business Alliance for Local, Living Economies (BALLE) will be holding their annual conference in Charleston, SC May 21-23, 2010. BALLE has been at the forefront of advocating for the return of an emphasis on supporting local economies. This will be the first conference they have heald in the southeast. Previous conferences have been in Denver, Portland, Berkeley, Boston, Burlington, VT, Vancouver, BC and Philadelphia.

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    22:21
    Solar Open House Today at Leon's Beauty School »Sustainable Greensboro

    Today (Tuesday, Nov. 4) from noon to 4pm, Leon's Beauty School at 1305 Coliseum (across from the Coliseum parking lot), is having an open house celebration for "Going Green" and the start-up of the 35 kW PV array (solar electric) installed by Extend Energy, LLC. Leon's also installed a solar thermal system. You will be able to see and learn about both systems. And there will be cake, balloons, and green shirts for sale.



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    22:21
    Sustainable Foods Discussion at UNCG »Sustainable Greensboro
    The UNCG School of Human Environmental Services Sustainability Initiative presents

    A Discussion on Sustainable Foods

    Slow Foods: Dr. Anne Marie Scott, Nutrition
    Community Supported Agriculture (CSA): Dr. Susan Andreatta, Anthropology

    Friday, November 13
    11:30 am to 1:00 pm
    401 Gatewood Building, UNCG Campus
    Space will be limited! RSVP by November 10 to 334-5980 or HES@uncg.edu

    Sample local and organic foods from Zaytoon's Restaurant
    Take home recipes for a Slow Foods Thanksgiving
    Purchase organic cotton HES Sustainability T-Shirts (cash or check only)
    Browse at the Sustainable Foods Book Fair


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    22:21
    When is an Urban Loop Freeway Sustainable? »Sustainable Greensboro
    Answer: Never. The Greensboro City Manager's Office recently compiled and distributed some information related to completing the northern portion of the Urban Loop. From their traffic analysis:

    Analyses of the area’s traffic demand model indicate that total vehicle miles traveled in the urban area will remain about the same with or without the Urban Loop, however; vehicle hours traveled are reduced significantly with the Urban Loop in place. The reduction in vehicle hours traveled will result in reduced fuel consumption, reduced air pollution, and reduced user costs. Reduced traffic congestion and improved roadway connections will also enhance economic develop opportunities in the Greensboro area.

    My college professor would have called this a tautological argument - meaning you use your predetermined
    conclusion to justify your conclusion. It's a circle and doesn't equate with true analysis. If our goal
    is reduced fuel consumption, reduced air pollution and reduced user costs, then you don't start
    by building a freeway, you start by looking at alternative means and modes of getting from point A
    to B. Their estimated cost is almost $500 million dollars to complete the three remaining segments.
    Granted the Urban Loop is largely a state-led project, but Greensboro has been pining for its completion.
    Never mind, that the State DOT has recently decided it will reconsider how and when it will complete
    Urban Loop projects across the state.

    What an Urban Loop does is facilitate development farther away from where it already is, leading to a
    pattern of economic development that leapfrogs areas that already have received the benefit
    of infrastructure investment. By focusing on just the single criteria of vehicle hours to justify pushing
    for completion of the Urban Loop, the City is ignoring any 1 of dozens of other criteria that should be
    used to determine whether it should push for completion of the Loop. Remember, one of the core principles
    of sustainability is that you make decisions based on taking an holistic view of the problem.

    The problem: How do we move goods and people around and through the City of Greensboro. (Notice
    the question is NOT: how do we reduce vehicle hours?) If the goal is simply to reduce vehicle hours, spending
    $500 million dollars on getting people out of their cars and into alternative transportion, or focusing economic
    development initiatives close to where people already live and work (i.e., shorter commutes), or redesigning
    our existing roads to be more efficient, would be more effective.

    I do feel that we have convinced ourselves for so long that we need an Urban Loop or that we deserve an
    Urban Loop that we are failing to be objective about its true worth and value. I'm not sure how
    valuing a single approach to reducing vehicle hours is more important than the disruption this project
    would have on homes, neighborhoods, destroying creeks, forests, drinking water, and wildlife corridors.




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    "What if..." »SkillTV
















    You will want to see this intriguing discussion with A3 Technologies, Alan Morris as he brainstorms on possible real world applications for 3d technologies in inventory and warehouse management. After viewing you will be asking "What if..."
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    Animated Alignment discussion on SkillTV »SkillTV



















    Above is a collage of the vibrant discussion Joel Leonard had with Paul Berberian of Alignment Supplies. Paul stated that close to 50% of all rotating equipment failures can be traced back to misaalignment. Check back to SkillTV in the coming weeks to see this and other interesting discussions filmed at the new SkillTV partner Fayetteville Technical Community College campus.
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    Compressor Technologies Reduce Costs »SkillTV

















    Patricia Del Buono of Atlas Copco Compressors explained to Joel Leonard that there are lots of opportunities to leverage technology of compressors to reduce energy and costs. Check SkillTV in the coming weeks to see this interesting discussion.
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    Dr. Keen shares his vision »SkillTV



















    Dr. Larry Keen, president of Fayetteville Technical Community College shares his educational vision of utilizing i3D technologies to accelerate learning and workforce development. He met with the group of industry experts that SkillTV recently invited to FTCC to explore some of this new technologies.
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    Extending Fix It Forward Photo Contest Submission to August 25th »SkillTV

    Three year-old Baker Leonard is wondering why everyone is not busting down the barn doors to submit their pictures for the Fix It Forward Contest.
    We have gotten a few but to have a true contest, we need lots more photos for viewers to evaluate.
    So we have extended submission date till August 25th and will post entries on the 26th for judging. Send entries to Joel@SkillTV.net
    Winners will be announced on Labor Day.
    So as Baker says "quit sitting around and let's get busy building future skilled workers."


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    Fighting the Maintenance Crisis at Vegas Facilities Decisions »SkillTV
















    Over 200 engineers and facilities leaders attended Joel Leonard's session at Facilities Decisions Conference on how to Fight the Maintenance Crisis in Las Vegas in September of 2009. Numerous resources cheered Joel on and accepted the invitation to join the fight.
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    Fix It Forward Photo Contest News »SkillTV

























    We just learned that Grainger.com is not only providing a first place prize, a Gatorade Cooler, but also second and third place prizes: Tool Kits.

    We also want to clarify: send your entries (only up to 3 per person) to Joel@SkillTV.net by August 20th. Feel free to add caption to your pictures as that may add to the message.

    Need ideas? SkillTV would love to see kids with tools, equipment, working, etc. Also we would love to see examples of generational exchange with kids and their mentors. Let us know if you have any questions.
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    FLIR- shares Hot Technology »SkillTV



















    During the Fayetteville Tech Technology exploratory, we had the pleasure of introducing educational and business leaders to the power of Infrared. During this taping FLIR's Jeff Dale hooked up a FLIR camera and we alternated throughout the discussion to the video and infrared camera. Check out Joel Leonard's hand print left after he touched his chest and how dark the cold water was depicted in infrared. Also see how the white heat of his eyes after removing his glasses. Although fun to play with, this technology helps companies uncover serious energy loss and can make a signficant impact to the bottom line.
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    Fostering Greatness- Support Welding School Scholarships »SkillTV
    We just discovered that a family is dealing with a loss of a child in a very profound way. Chris Ilcin and wife will be hosting a series of fund raisers to raise scholarship funding to allow foster kids to attend Lincoln Welding to honor their son who passed last year.

    Here at SkillTV we want to honor their efforts to FixIT Forward by sharing details below: http://www.tcspromise.org/tcspromise/Default.aspx

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    Going Airborne "Ultrasonically speaking" »SkillTV

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    Adrian Messer of UE Systems shared with Joel Leonard the latest Airborne Ultrasound technologies during the special SkillTV Technology Taping at FTCC. Adrian pointed out that companies typically get payback from the purchases of ultrasound leak detectors within the first month if not the first day.

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    Halleluah, a congregation »SkillTV
















    Maintenance Evangelist, Joel Leonard was delighted to learn that his session at Facilities Decision was the largest session of Vegas event. Joel will be attending AFE Facilities America Conference October 29th, AEE World Engineering Energy Congress in DC November 4th in the coming weeks.

    If you want to join Joel for a taping of SkillTV contact him at Joel@SkillTV.net.
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    More Prizes for the Fix It Forward Photo Contest »SkillTV

    This contest is more than just taking pictures of kids working on equipment but hopefully it will inspire more to help us Fix It Forward by building future pipeline of skilled workers.


    Below is an email I got from Ralph "Pete" Peters, founder of the Maintenance Excellence Institute. He believes so much in our efforts that he is donating prizes to the cause.

    See his email below-- pardon the all caps but he wrote this while on a blackberry. Thanks Pete! Hopefully more will respond to this opportunity to help Fix It Forward!

    JOEL::::>YES >>>>>A) AN MBBP HARD COPY BOOK ($50 ON PRIDE) + B) AN MBBP ELECTRONIC VERSION ($30 VALUE ON PRIDE) + C) A SCOREBOARD FOR MAINTENANCE EXCELLENCE IN ELECTRONIC ($195 VALUE ON PRIDE).

    Ralph W. "Pete" PetersFounder & President: The Maintenance Excellence Institute-6809 Foxfire Place, Suite 100, Raleigh, North Carolina 27615 -2625 East Beach Drive, Oak Island, North Carolina 28465Office: 919-270-1173 Direct Cell: 919-280-1253Web: http://www.pride-in-maintenance.com/ Skype: PRIDEnWorkE-Mail: Pete@PRIDE-in-Maintenance.com & RalphPetePeters@aol.com


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    Popping the stereotypes »SkillTV























    After delivering the presentation on Fighting the Maintenance Crisis at the Washington State Society for Healtcare Engineers, Joel Leonard was presented this gift that although would have been fun to play with, he realized that TSA would probably confiscate at the Airport. This event was great at shooting down stereotypes and misperceptions of the maintenance and facilities engineering function that inhibit performance.
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    Send your pics in NOW for Fix It Forward Photo Contest »SkillTV

    Send pics of future Skilled Workers to Joel@SkillTV.net by August 20th, 2009.
    We will then post them and allow viewers to vote for their favorite.
    The Top 3 will win special prizes provided by Grainger.com.


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    What does the future hold for the Maintenance and Reliability Profession? »SkillTV

    What will the future bring to the maintenance industry? As of now it is cloudy, but can you help us clarify the future?
    What do you think will be some of the advances, technologies and approaches that tomorrow's pros will be using to avoid and repair failures?


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    Family Troubles and eBay Auction »Not Bloody Likely
    Last Winter, my father had an amputation after his left foot became gangrenous. He'd undergone a graft back in the 90s to shore up his femoral artery and the doctors at the V.A. hospital told him that the graft would only last for 10-15 years, that it couldn't be repeated, and that, when it failed, he'd lose circulation in the leg and probably, the leg itself. Sure enough, 12 years later, that's what happened. Fortunately, there have been no major complications from the amputation, and Physical Therapists at the V.A. in Johnson City, TN, have been working with him to get him ready for a prosthetic, although that progress has been slowed by a more recent operation to remove his left kidney.

    Unfortunately, once he became a uniped, his landlord became a douchebag, refusing to make a wheelchair ramp for the unit, or more outrageously, to put up a handicapped parking sign in front of it. His reasoning? "I don't want to encourage other handicapped retirees to move in to this complex." Or at least that's what he allegedly said to my stepmother.

    The bastard claims to be within his rights, saying that the 1989 Amendment that extended the Fair Housing Act to cover handicapped accessibility only applies to multi-family dwellings that had their first use after 1991, and dad's apartment complex has been operated continually since the 50s. I wanted to at least publicize his landlord's behavior, with the hopes of shaming him into relenting, but Dad and my stepmother want to move out. They've lived there for 18 years, but don't want to stay on with such a bastard as their landlord. Can't say I blame them.

    But moving out takes money, and they're on fixed incomes and I can only send them so much at a time. To raise them some additional funds, I'm holding an eBay auction of what may be the rarest and most collectible item I own.

    Back in the 80s, I wrote CRAZY CREATIVE WRITING: STORY STARTERS AND WORD BANKS for Carson-Dellosa, a local publisher of educational workbook. "Story starters" are the beginnings of simple short stories, accompanied by a "Word Bank" of possible words to use in completing the story on the blank lines under the beginning paragraph. My book contained 30 of these, and was aimed at teachers of grades 1-4.

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    In the 90s, when I was going to a lot of science fiction and fantasy conventions and working on my first novel, I asked various professional writers I'd met to complete stories in the book, just like they were kids in an elementary school classroom. Neil Gaiman (SANDMAN, AMERICAN GODS, CORALINE), Poppy Z. Brite, Kelly Link, Caitlin R. Kiernan, Mehitobel Wilson and others complied.

    Here's Neil's contribution (with some of it blocked off for the eBay auction, so that I'm not giving away the entire story).

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    At the time, a couple of contributors teased me about how I was pestering them into creating a unique and potentially very valuable collectible. I knew that was true, but I was mainly doing it for a lark, and over the years since then, I've felt guilty about trying to sell it, not so much because it has huge sentimental value but because it seemed like a mercenary response to their friendly generosity.

    However, in lieu of my parents' circumstances, I've changed my mind. When I asked Neil if he thought this was mercenary of me, he replied no, not at all, "it's not like you're going to use the money to buy edible kittens or something." I've been giggling at that phrase ever since.

    So I just listed it on eBay. Neil, Poppy and Caitlin have agreed to publicize it on their blogs. The item # is 280364723261

    Here's the auction.

    And yes, I know I misspelled my own damn name, leaving out an "l" in McDowell! Poppy kindly pointed this out to me, no doubt snickering to herself as she did so. It will have to stand, as I don't seem to be able to edit an item's description while the auction is active.

    Wish me luck. I'm not posting it here because I think this blog is widely read that it will get me any more bids, but so I'll have a link that I can point other people in the fantasy and horror communities at, so they'll learn the story behind the auction and perhaps pass on information about it.

    UPDATE: Up to $500 in 24 hours That's a good start, methinks.

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    Locally made kung fu action in DOGS OF CHINATOWN »Not Bloody Likely
    This micro-budget martial arts film, written and directed by my friend Micah Moore (and produced by my friend Blake Faucette, who used to own College Hill Video) had what I guess was its theatrical premiere last night. It will be playing at 7:30 every night at the Carousel Luxury Cinema here in Greensboro for the next week. I know Blake and Micah have sold Thai and Latin American distribution rights to it, and believe they're close to a domestic deal of sort (presumably straight to video).

    I can't give an unbiased review of something shot by and starring people I know and like, but I was more impressed than I expected to be. The digital video photography looked surprisingly good projected on the big screen. Local reviewers have compared the film's look to Sin City, but as my friend Tim remarked, in some ways it more resembles that of Pi. Micah and Blake originally wanted to release the film in black and white, but then realized no distributor would touch it if they did, and the burnished, sepia-with-bursts-of-color look they settled on is quite striking.

    Eric Jacobus, of the San Francisco based Stunt People, stars (and did the choreography). He's not a polished actor and doesn't yet have oodles of charisma (he looks kind of a like a short David Boreanaz), but his cinematic fighting skills are pretty damn impressive and he knows how to stage a good brawl. Huyen Thi, who plays the heroine, isn't great but doesn't embarrass herself, and she's pretty damn hot, even if she doesn't look even slightly Chinese. But then, none of the Chinese characters other than Wei, the hero's kung fu teacher (played by writer/director Moore's real-life sifu Brian Lee) do, since they're cast with Vietnamese and Thai locals (Greensboro doesn't have a Chinatown, but does have the makings of its own Little Saigon or Thai Town).

    Like Jet Li's American starring debut Romeo Must Die, this is a Romeo and Juliet story involving rival mobs (Chinese and Italian here, as in the original script for Romeo before it was rewritten to feature African-American gangsters). But despite some clunkers in the dialogue, I think it actually has a more interesting script (admittedly, that's not all that hard), one with a few surprises and some nuance, as well as characters who don't always do what you might expect. And while Jacobus doesn't have the screen presence of Jet Li, he gives himself better fight scenes than Jet got in that or any of his Western films other than Unleashed or Kiss of the Dragon. And these fights are better edited than those in the latter.

    While those fight scenes suffer from director Moore's use of Gladiator-style step-printing (something I told Micah after the show tonight), they're still really impressive, with long takes, no cheating edits, and lots of real contact. As an imported-from-LA enforcer called The General, co-action-coordinator Ray Carbonel (also of The Stunt Boys and micro-budget film Contour) isn't a much better actor than Jacobus, but he's equally impressive in the brutal fights, taking on our hero, and before that, our hero's best friend (and sifu) Wei.

    Wei, who's essentially the film's Mercutio, is actually the most interesting character, a drunken horndog and easy-going party boy who is both a kung fu master and a handsome young Chinese-American. Brian Lee, who teaches at the Triangle Arnis Kung Fu Academy here in NC, is a better martial artist than an actor and some of his comedy is too broad, but he has looks and charisma and would have made for an interesting lead himself (he had what was essentially the Romeo role in his student and friend Moore's viral internet video Ninjas Vs. Pirates a couple of years ago). When he and Carbonel square off, he gets to use Shaolin Long Fist and other traditional techniques against The General's mixture of MMA and Muay Thai, which adds some nice variety to the deadly brawl.

    The best actor in the cast, and the one with the most professional credentials, is Bill Oberst Jr. as Mob lieutenant Vitorio. Oberst, who played William Tecumseh Sherman on the History Channel a couple of years ago, isn't given enough to do, but he has a hell of a lot of screen presence and looks like a combination of a younger, skinnier, redheaded Harvey Keitel and a sandblasted Daniel Craig.

    The biggest casting mistake was writer/director Moore giving himself the role a scar-faced Russian hitman called in by the Italians. Micah is a pretty impressive martial artist on the screen and in the real world (a couple of years ago, I saw him kick the ass of a much bigger drunken frat boy who crashed one of his parties and who got confrontational after not winning the Limbo contest!) and he might be an effective actor if he played up the incongruity of his real-life image as a goofy, gangly hipster who happens to have some serious kung fu skills. But he doesn't look very intimidating (which has worked to his advantage in some real life fights), at least not unless you're standing beside him and notice the muscles in his forearms and the size of his fists (which I hope he doesn't use on me after reading this), and this role is simply out of his range, with him deploying an accent that made him sound like he was out to get Moose and Squirrel.

    But he shows real promise as a director, and I'm not just saying that because he's a friend. As I've said, I wasn't fond of the step-printing, but he knows how to frame action and when NOT to cut, and many of his compositions are unexpectedly lovely. And despite some clunker lines, he also shows promise as a writer, with a couple of character moments that would have really stood out in a production with more polished actors with better timing.

    As Joe Scott said in his blog review about this film, it's a much better way to spend your time and money than Transformers 2. And not just because you get to see some locals kicking ass and taking names. Ian-Bob says check it out. It's only playing for six more days at the Carousel (and for only one screening each night), so see it while you can. Plus, during each showing, they'll be selling $1 beers, and yes, you can take them into the screening room with you.

    Official Trailer here

    (Apologies to the other locals, including friends like the lovely Heather Meek, whom I've not mentioned in this review, but whom I really enjoyed seeing on the big screen).

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    My friend Luva's store is in the Sunday New York Times »Not Bloody Likely
    I believe some form of this article will be in the Travel section of the Sunday New York Times. Luva owns Southern Swank, one of the stores in the Father and Sons Antiques collective on N. Hargett Street in Raleigh. That's Luu in the fourth photo of the New York Times listing (the last link).

    I don't know what photographic genius at the Times decided on a side view that obscures one of North Carolina's most striking faces. Customers of Tate Street Coffee on (duh) Tate Street may recognize Luva as The Blood-Splattered Barista, one of my mock exploitation movie coffee posters on permanent display there (admittedly, my poster doesn't do justice to her 1960s European film goddess features, either -- I make her look like a combination of Liz Hurley and Penelope Cruz, but she's actually more beautiful than that).

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    Here's the "36 Hours in the Research Triangle" slide show that accompanies the main piece at the Times online.

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    Nine Myths of the Ninja »Not Bloody Likely
    In honor of this month's MIDNIGHT MADNESS II: NINJAFEST at Greensboro's Carousel Luxury Cinema, which kicked off tonight with the insane NINJA: THE FINAL DUEL, and continues next Friday with Chuck Norris in THE OCTAGON (with Sho Kosugi's REVENGE OF THE NINJA and the terrible but hilarious SAMURAI COP on subsequent Fridays), here are nine myths about Ninjas.

    1) They were called ninjas.

    The word "ninja" is derived from the Japanese Shinobi-no-mono, which is written with two kanji characters that can also be pronounced as nin-sha, but only if the Chinese pronunciation is used. In modern Japanese, they are usually referred to as Shinobi.

    2) They wore those nifty black pyjamas.

    Those costumes are actually relics of the 19th century Japanese stage, which helped form the modern image of the ninja, one that has little to do with the historical reality. In mythology, ninjas were supposed to be able to turn invisible, so actors portraying them adopted the same outfits as the stage hands and puppeteers who were supposed to be "unseen" by the audience. In reality, ninjas, if they ever really existed, dressed like peasants, or women, or soldiers in the enemy army.

    3) They used a straight sword called a ninjato.

    Another relic of the 19th century stage, where it was a useful way of distinguishing the good guys from the bad guys (ninjas were usually villains in the theater). There is evidence that some "ninjas" may have used a modified short (but curved) sword with the hilt and scabbard of a long sword, as this allowed them to draw it at very close range (and to hold it out with one hand as if it was being offered in surrender, then whip out the short blade with the other hand when the unwary opponent came within range), much like some Italian assassins may have used a dagger with a rapier's hilt that fit inside a scabbard. But even this claim is controversial.

    4) That sword's scabbard could also be used as a breathing tube and blowgun.

    Fun movie bullshit, but bullshit just the same. This is totally the invention of 20th Century practitioners of "ninjitsu," the LARPers of the martial arts world.

    5) A shuriken could kill at great distances.

    Generally speaking, a shuriken couldn't kill at all, unless one got very lucky or the victim later died from infection (always a possibility in those days). It's not meant to kill, it's meant as a distraction, to be used at fairly close range. For instance, when an armed opponent was closing in on a ninja, the ninja could throw a shuriken at his face. While the opponent was cursing and pulling the pointy metal star out of his face, the ninja could either attack with his own primary weapon or (more likely) attempt to escape.

    6) Ninjas used smoked bombs and "black eggs" filled with esoteric powders.

    Again, pure bullshido from the LARPers of the modern martial arts world. This myth also has its origin in the 19th century stage, where actors playing ninjas affected "disappearences" via the same kind of theatrical pyrotechnics used by European magicians (and actors playing Devils and magicians in stage melodramas).

    7) Ninjas had special shoes that let them walk on water.

    In reality, some ninjas MAY have used snowshoe-like footwear that allowed to walk on the surface of rice paddies and over mud without sinking in, but these contraptions don't work on actual water, as MYTHBUSTERS has shown. And while these are displayed in a couple of "ninja museums" in Japan, there are skeptics who feel they were actually used only by rice farmers, not by stealthy spies and assassins.

    In Japanese, these shoes were called "water spiders." Apparently the Taiwanese makers of NINJA: THE FINAL DUEL took the metaphor literally!

    8) Ninjas were master assassins.

    Despite their prevalence in the mythology of many cultures, there have almost certainly never been any real world secret societies of master assassins. Throughout history, most assassinations have been performed by amateurs who happened to have special access to the person being assassinated. When feudal Japanese lords wanted to kill their rivals, they bribed the ministers, courtesans or personal bodyguards of those rivals to do the dirty deed, rather than dispatching teams of skulking black clad swordsmen.

    Ninjas, as much as they ever existed, were primarily used for scouting and reconnaissance and in siege warfare. Any martial arts they practiced were to defend themselves if discovered, or when sneaking into castles and fortifications, to kill guards and soldiers in order to create a distraction from the main siege party outside.

    9) There are modern schools of "Ninjitsu" that can actually trace their techniques back to those used by historical "ninjas."

    In the 1970s, Masaaki Hatsumi founded the Bujinkan Association in Japan. Sensei Hatsumi claimed to have studied shinobi martial arts techniques under Toshitsugu Takamatsu, who in turn claimed actual ninja lineage.

    These claims are dubious at best (rule of thumb: most martial arts schools are full of BS about their lineage). Masaaki Hatsumi is a formidable martial artist and his various schools teach some very effective techniques, but he is also a canny showman who is not above making bogus claims in order to sell books and entice students. How much he actually learned from Takamatsu, and how Takamatsu's own martial arts styles may have differed from mainstream jiu-jitsu and karate (i.e., possessed any uniquely "ninja" component) are highly disputed matters that are almost impossible to prove.

    As for anyone else claiming to teach "ninjitsu" (or "ninjutsu" or "ninpo"), it's almost certainly pure bullshido. Some of these instructors may teach practical and effective self-defense techniques, but their actual historical "ninja content" is nil.

    Note: some the above information comes from Peter Nepstad's excellent article at:

    http://www.illuminatedlantern.com/cinema/archives/ninja.php

    I already knew some of this stuff, such as the theatrical origin of the black outfits and the smoke bombs (Peter doesn't really get into the latter) and the less than deadly nature of the shuriken (something which should be obvious to anyone who's ever thrown one at a target), but it was from his old article that I learned the origin of the word "ninja" itself, and his comments about the historical record and its indication of ninja success (or lack thereof) are not to be missed.

    My opinion of Masaaki Hatsumi is entirely my own (although one shared by many contributors to the forums at www.bullshido.net).

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    No title »Not Bloody Likely
    The Catastrophic Abcedarium (Homage to Edward Gorey)
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    No title »Not Bloody Likely
    Frozen Ape-Men & Giant Boobies at the NC State Fair

    The North Carolina State Fair sure has changed since I was a kid. These days it's all livestock and the standard rides and various fried foods. Mind you, I'm not adverse to any of that; I like petting cattle as much as the next animal-loving city boy, I eat far more fried foods than I should, and the more frightening the ride, the better. But those homespun pleasures are a far cry from the marvelously seedy and more than slightly disreputable old-school fairgrounds of my youth. Where are the beast-men, the peepshows, the giant man-eating animals? Where have all the big-boob strippers gone, long time passing?

    I've never been to Coney Island, sadly, or any boardwalk other than Myrtle Beach's, but back in the early 70s the North Carolina State Fair had that kind of vintage ambiance, like something out of CARNIVAL or a Tom Waits song. There were freaks and fortune tellers and singing mermaids and venerable ballyhoo attractions like "See the beautiful girl turn into a gorilla before you very eyes!" (one of the few classic illusions that actually WAS done with mirrors).

    There was the World's Largest Rat, which was claimed to have killed three men when it was captured in the depths of the Amazon basis. In the painting on the outside of the railer, it stood on two feet and was nibbling a headless human corpse (the anonymous artist had actually cribbed a bit from Goya's famous painting of Saturn devouring his son, which I was familiar with even at that age). Inside, of course, was just a sleepy capybara, an inoffensive 100-pound South American rodent whose deerlike legs and lack of a tail kept it from looking disturbing ratlike (even as a kid, I was used to seeing hapless capybaras devoured by anacondas on National Geographic TV specials).


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    There was the "giant" octopus, displayed live in a tank built to look like like a diving bell, the glass portals of which had magnifying effect on the pulsating cephalapod inside, enlarging its probably soccer-ball-sized head to beachball proportions. There was the World's Largest Crocodile and the World's Largest Snake, which had allegedly crushed over a dozen native porters when it was captured in Darkest Africa (never mind that it was a perfectly ordinary Burmese or Indian python, probably less than 18 feet long). There was the boxing chimpanzee, billed as possessing a black belt in karate, whose owner challenged all comers to battle his martial simian in the ring. The ape, a real adult male chimp bigger than me, handily kicked their asses. At my elementary school, and later my middle school, every other kid claimed to know somebody whose Green Beret big brother had beaten or even killed this pugilistic primate, a common urban legend that a google search shows has even been attributed to the young George W. Bush (who, of course, could no more beat up a chimpanzee than he could outwit one).

    And most deliciously horrifically, there was the Iceman, which I saw several times. Billed as the frozen corpse of an actual Bigfoot (it appeared to have been shot through the eye!), it was displayed in a block of ice in a refrigerated trailer, chilled by aging compressors that made marvelously alarming groaning noises. The thing had been touring all over the country since the early 60s and would continue to do so for several decades. Here's a sketch of it by former zoologist turned author and monster-chasing crackpot Ivan T. Sanderson

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    And here's an article that takes the Iceman ballyhoo at face value:

    http://www.angelfire.com/mn2/mnbf/iceman.html

    I still remember walking up the creaky steps into the Iceman's trailer, which tilted treacherously to one side. The interior stank of cigarette smoke and freon from the faulty refrigeration unit. I can't recall what the attendant looked like, but I remember the overpowering smell of his cologne. I had to walk up a ramp and peer over a rail to stare down at the frozen "caveman corpse" -- the ice was real, not plexiglass or anything like that. The surface was clouded with condensation, obscuring what lay beneath, and the attendant laughed (I was the only spectator in the tent) and gave me a greasy rag. "Wipe him off so you can see him better!" Reaching for the cold ice with the dirty cloth, I did. And there, right beneath my hand, was the Iceman's face! In some ways he looked more like an eight-foot-tall naked Wolfman than my mental image of a yeti. His one remaining eye was open and seemed to stare right at me. The other was a bloody socket (in an article on the Iceman for FATE! magazine, Sanderson claimed to have been able to tell that the entire back of the Iceman's head had been blown off by the exiting bullet that had apparently killed it/him). I jumped back and nearly fell right off the ramp.

    None of the various blurry photos I've seen of the iceman over the years have indicated how realistic and genuinely creepy it was, probably due to the difficulty of photographing it through the ice (it didn't help that the guy exhibiting it didn't want it to be carefully studied). Back when HELLRAISER 3 was filmed here in Greensboro, I had a conversation with the film's makeup artist in which I told the story of the Iceman. He said that he'd heard of it, and that the rumor in his industry was that it was actually created by John Chambers, the guy responsible for the make-up in the original PLANET OF THE APES (some have claimed Chambers also made the bigfoot suit seen in the famous 8-millimeter film of an apparently female Sasquatch striding across a meadow).

    While dad let me see the Iceman, there the other, more mysterious Adults-Only exhibits that I knew better than to ask him to buy me tickets to, but I practically memorized the ballyhoo on the outside of the various tents and trailers. There were the odd little "educational" show tents, presumably some sort of multimedia thing. Some of these, such as the ones depicting childbirth, had been touring since the 30s, I later found; the attraction was that you actually got to see a woman's vagina, even if a baby was emerging from it (of course, by the time I was a kid at the fair, there was such a thing as actual porn, and so exhibits like "The Miracle of Life" were on their last legs). I still recall being particularly intrigued by one called "Sex Vs. The Pill." What the heck was that about?

    And then there were the strippers. The North Carolina State Fair was the first place I ever saw a woman's breast -- well, most of one -- outside of the PLAYBOYs under my father's bed. No, dad, never took me into the tents in which the strippers did their acts, but when not performing the women would sprawl in lawnchairs outside, wearing half-open bathrobes, or sometimes just pasties, g-strings and high-heels, smoking and shooting the breeze with the carnies. Some of the acts were nationally known ones like Lilly St. Cyr and Busty Russell. On one particularly memorable October afternoon, I nearly walked right into the literally water-melon-sized breasts of Chesty Morgan, the infamous star of DEADLY WEAPONS, the film in which Ms. Morgan takes revenge on the mobsters who killed her boyfriend by smothering them beneath her titanic ta-tas. I'd already noticed several posters proclaiming Ms. Morgan's presence at the fair, all with some version of this image:

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    Dad had actually embarassed the Hell out of me by laughing when he saw me staring at one of the posters, patting me on the head, and saying "tits that big can be fun to look at, but believe me, they only get in the way!" After the initial shock of hearing my father use the word "tits," I kept turning that image over in my mind, wondering how he knew this, and just what sort of inconvenience was afforded by such astonishingly large boobs. Perhaps if I'd not been so shy of talking about things like that with my father (he never gave me the standard lecture about the Facts of Life, expecting me to learn about them from my peers, as I did), the discussion of how they "got in the way" might have made for an interesting parental bonding conversation, but instead it became the subject of several schoolyard arguments, after I told my friends the story of what I'd encountered at the fair.

    A bit later that afternoon, I'd just finished riding the marvelously rickety wooden roller coaster and was headed towards the barbecue tent where dad was waiting for me at one of the picnic tables. My route took me past the stripper tent and, as I rounded a cotton candy booth, there was Ms. Morgan in the swaying flesh, all 76-28-36 of her (well, that's how she was billed; I suspect her actual measurements were more like 56H-40-44). Her famous assets were constrained by nothing but flowered pasties and they hung almost to her waist, bouncing metronomically as she walked towards me. She wore shocking pink hotpants and open-toed pink stacks. Her ill-fitting wig was even more askew than in the photo above and her eyes were hidden behind heart-shaped shades. Behind her and to either side, men were staring with varying degrees of astonishment and interest, the young black men and the soldiers being more vocal in their approval than the white civilians, while most women either scowled or snickered. Several outraged parents had clapped their hands over their childrens' eyes.

    Chesty seemed oblivious to all this. I swear to God, I remember her as smoking two cigarettes, one in each corner of her mouth, like the chain-smoking prostitute in the Louise Brooks film PANDORA'S BOX. She carried a plastic cup full of beer in one hand and a footlong hotdog in the other. As she passed me, she nodded, smiled and gave her nearest breast an extra jiggle in my direction, then tottered off towards the stripper tent. I turned around to stare after her, my face burning, glad that my father wasn't nearby and grateful for the fact that nobody was looking at me (any pickpockets in the crowd would have had a field day). Even though her back was now completely too me, I could still see her swaying breasts, first one, then the other, bobbing into partial view on either side of her elbows as she walked. This sounds like a frightening sight and from a more mature perspective, I might find it so, but you have to remember I was 11 years old and A REAL LIVE WOMAN'S ALMOST NAKED BREASTS HAD JUST PASSED WITHIN A COUPLE OF FEET OF MY FACE. My preadolescent hormonal reaction was something very different from disgust. Indeed, it was so strong that one of the hooting GI's actually noticed me, nudged his friend, and cackled "boy got him a boner! Son, you want us to buy you tickets for her show?"

    My face burning, I ran towards the barbecue tent, where fortunately my father, absorbed in his beer and his paperback Matt Helm novel, hadn't noticed any of this, his view obscured by the milling crowds. The embarrassment passed soon enough and the seedy, "man, this is really grown-up!" excitement of the fair returned in force. "I just saw boobies!" went the litany in my head, "the biggest boobies that ever were! Wait until I tell John Bass and Joey Miller and the other cool kids who always have the best stories!" When dad and I left a couple of hours later, I remember thinking how I couldn't wait to be old enough to go by myself, so that I could see all the forbidden sideshows and exhibits, and maybe even pay the fifty cents that would get me into the stripper tent.

    But I never did, not until after the fairgrounds of my youth had gone the way of Eckerd's soda fountains and comic book racks and Woolworth's lunch counters and Godzilla double features at downtown movie theaters that served orange soda in plastic orange-shaped containers with built-in straws. There are no more stripper tents, no freaks, no frozen yeti corpses, no giant rats and gators and snakes. But if I stand on the midway and smell the sawdust and the cotton candy and listen to the creaking rides, I can still bring it all back inside my head.

    [Full article]
    22:20
    No title »Not Bloody Likely
    The True & Secret History of Doctor in the Butt

    When I was in the 4th Grade, everyone at Glendate Acres Elementary School in Fayetteville, NC, played a game called Doctor in the Butt. It was something many of us heard of in the 3rd grade, a mysterious ritual of the Big Kids. In the 5th grade, while it was sometimes engaged in, it was generally considered pass. By the 6th grade, it had become expunged from memory. But in the 4th grade, it was all the rage.

    This would have been the Spring of 1968 or 1969. Can you comprehend me being that old? I often can't; its like another lifetime, or one several times removed in a chain of reincarnation. The Spring before the Summer of Love, not that that particular Summer ever dawned in Fayetteville, right beside Fort Bragg. The only time I ever saw hippies was on class trips to the Planetarium at Chapel Hill, where wed lean out of the bus windows and shout Hey, hippies! and theyd raise two fingers and go Peace, little dudes! It was a time when we talked about the episodes of STAR TREK, then in its original network TV run, that wed just seen the night before while standing line for our chocolate milk and leathery little hamburgers in the cafeteria.

    But I digress. The subject of this blog is Docotr in the Butt, not how fucking old I am. Onward.

    Doctor in the Butt was played by a Doctor, a Patient and a crowd of onlookers. It was played at recess, in the tall grass at the edge of the playground, behind the outbuildings that had been used for 1st graders but were empty that year. There were no teachers or monitors watching us; at recess, we were pretty much left to our own devices, and before we discovered Doctor in the Butt, we played a game called War, which was essentially a gradeschool rumble, with us fighting each other en masse, and nobody ever got in trouble for that, either, not even when I jumped on John Bass, who was much bigger than me, successfully brought him down to the ground (where he could be satisfactorily pummeled by other boys my size) by sinking my teeth into his ear and hanging on to him like a hyena on a wildebeest.

    But I was talking about Doctor in the Butt, not general grade school hooliganism.

    The patient was induced to lie on his and the patient was always male, as girls would sometimes agree to be doctors, but never, ever patients stomach in the tall grass, with his pants and underwear pulled down to his ankles. The Doctor arrived at a diagnosis by inserting a twig, a number two pencil or a forefinger between the patients buttcheeks. I dont recall anyones anus actually being penetrated, so the twig, pencil or finger was never stuck in very far. It was basically what these days is called an Oil Check (thanks for that term, Scott). The finger, twig or pencil was left nestled between the (usually squirming) patient's buttcheeks while the Doctor sloooooowly counted to 20.

    Once a diagnosis was arrived at, a Treatment was prescribed. This consisted of dropping either an M&M, a pebble, a red berry, or a pillbug (yes, a rolly-polly) into the patient's posterior crevasse. The Doctor would then slap the patient hard on each cheek and tell him that he should put his pants back on, as he was free to go.

    And that's it, or all that I remember of it. I dont recall much of how I felt about it at the time, whether it was a guilty thrill or idle curiosity. I believe that I was a doctor far more often than I was a patient, which I suppose makes me a Doctor in the Butt Top.

    Beyond contributing to my general weirdness, I dont think it had any obvious effects on my psyche. Ive never been the active or passive partner in anal sex and Im more of a tit and leg man than an ass man, although I certainly appreciate a nice derriere, make no butts about that. I have no fetishes about pebbles or pillbugs, nor is that part of my annual physical when I bend and cough a secret pleasure of mine.

    Maybe it was just a few kids that played it, but I remember it being a huge crowd. Realistically, we probably only did it a few times, but I recall it happening almost every recess from the first warm weather until the school let out for the summer.

    And now you know. And knowing is half the battle.

    [Full article]
    22:20
    No title »Not Bloody Likely
    Confessions of a Monster Boomer, Part Deux

    Monster Boomer" is term that I first started seeing in the early 90s, when David J. Skal's book The Monster Show: A Cultural History of Horror, was published. It's an exceptional work, and must reading for anyone who's ever wondered why about the place monsters in American culture, and how they went from scary to cuddly, but I'm being longwinded enough without attempting to review it, so here's a link. http://www.monstershow.net/work2.htm

    I'll just say that I read it with a shock of recognition. Suddenly, I knew who and what I was. Not just a baby boomer, not a post-hippy or pre-punk, but a Monster Boomer!

    The Monster Boom is generally agreed to have begun in 1957, when the first "Shock Theater" package of old horror and science fiction movies was syndicated on American television. The next year saw the debut of Famous Monsters of Filmland.

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    In 1961 the first Aurora model kit of Frankenstein's monster hit American toy and hobby stores. It may not have had the impact of the hula hoop or the frisbee, but was a niche market sensation.

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    [Full article]
    22:20
    No title »Not Bloody Likely

    Confessions of a Monster Boomer, Part One

    About a decade ago, I realized I had my own socio-cultural-generational niche. I'd long accepted my status as nerd and a geek, even before I knew those actual words. But my geekiness hadn't seemed pegged to a particular generation. Despite having some vivid memories of both the 60s and the 70s, I'd never associated myself with any of either decade's major cultural trends. Indeed, for much of my early life I was perpetually out of the loop, and even when genuinely cool (as opposed to merely trendy) stuff was part of the zeitgeist, I tended not to catch up with until years later.

    I was aware of the Beatles as early as 1965, and can remember being seven years old and arguing with a neighbor kid because I thought their haircuts meant they were girls. But I don't think I voluntarily listened to them until 1974, when I caught Yellow Submarine on the ABC Movie of the Week and was bowled over by "Eleanor Rigby." In 1966, when I was eight years old, I thought that Bruce Lee's Kato on The Green Hornet was the biggest badass on T.V., but five years later, I didn't go to see Fists of Fury in the theater, nor see any Bruce Lee movie until 1980, almost a decade after he'd died. When my fellow high school seniors were grooving to KISS, I was discovering Bob Dylan (I'd sing "It's All Right, Ma, I'm Only Bleeding" while walking to school). I got my second ever hard-on over a black woman (the first having been Lt. Uhura) upon finding a Pam Grier pictorial in some second-string skin magazine (probably Gallery) in 1974, but I didn't see Ms. Grier's specRACKular talents on display in Coffy and Foxy Brown until I was working at a video store in the 80s. I wasn't aware of Gordon Lau, the Master Killer himself (and later Pai Mei in Kill Bill) until the mid-90s, although a bunch of his 70s Kung Fu films had played in downtown Fayetteville theaters (where I'd have been scared shitless to have sat amongst the G.I.s and the pimps, an audience I'd enjoy rubbing elbows with now). I knew that Shaft was the slick private dick who was a sex machine to all the chicks, but had only seen him in his short-lived, watered-down TV show until I started watching Blaxpoitation movies in the early days of homevideo. And so on.

    Oh, I wasn't out of EVERY cultural loop. I saw most of the episodes of Star Trek in their original run, as it became a ritual for my father and me, but it wasn't really something I shared with my gradeschool friends. Maybe if I'd been, say 12, rather than 8, when it first aired, I might have later become a dyed-in-the-wool Trekkie, but while I loved the show, I didn't worship it, it wasn't part of my interior life. Same thing with The Avengers and The Prisoner, both of which I saw during their initial American network TV runs and loved, but which didn't effect me quite the way they would have if I'd been slightly older.

    And yes, speaking of the word "older, I am indeed quite the remarkably well preserved fossil.. Cue the du rigeur exclamations of "I can't believe how young you look!"

    I make jokes about that now, but it was a subject I avoided when I first got on MySpace (and before that, on Friendster). At that time, I still tried to think of myself as being in my EARLY 40s and hid my real age by claiming to be 100 years old. I wasn't trying very hard to fool anyone, but for some I was less comfortable about admitting that I was 44 than I saying that I'm 48. Maybe the fact that some women in their early 30s (and even a few in their late 20s) seem to be more amused and intrigued than dismayed by my age is part of my coming to terms with it. Or maybe it's that I've actually met some forty-something women whom (unlike the ones I used to meet on dating sites) I'm genuinely attracted to (indeed, the last two Greensboro women I made overt passes at were, respectively, 41 and 43 years old, although one of them immediately shot me down in favor of some dreary ageing hippie, while the other preferred to play the tease rather than actually go out with me).

    So, yes, just like Eliot's J. Alfred Prufrock, I grow old, I grow old, But while I may not wear my trousers rolled, I remember a lot of things that many of you don't. I can remember when Southern cities actually had downtowns, and one saw first-run movies in downtown theaters, rather than at malls or multiplexes. Many of those theaters had balconies, and in their concession stands, they sold little plastic bottles of orange soda that were shaped like oranges, with built-in straws (what the Hell were those things called, anyway?) I can remember when one could see freaks and fake monsters and "educational" sex-oriented slideshows and big-titted strippers at the sleazy old-school NC State Fair (I wrote one of my best old blogs about this). I can remember eating at Woolworth lunch counters, and ordering chocolate Sundays and sodas at Eckerds, and buying comic books for 12 cents from spinning metal racks at Rexall and 7-11.

    I've written elsewhere and in this blog about Doctor in the Butt, the weird game we played at Glendale Acres Elementary School at recess. One thing that strikes me about it now that seems almost as alien as the fact that we were merrily putting pebbles and pill-bugs up each other's asses is that we were COMPLETELY UNSUPERVISED. Our school was beside a patch of woods, and nobody watched us at recess to make sure we didn't wander into those woods. I lived in a neighborhood about six blocks away from the school, and other than the one crossing guard, we didn't see any adults from the time we left our houses until we stepped in the classroom. And part of that five-days-a-week journey took use behind a church and down a dirt path through a patch of woods. Nobody thought that was strange.

    Until 7th grade, meeting black kids were something that happened at other schools. We weren't entirely whitebread, in that some of the most popular boys and girls at Glendale Acres were of Lebanese ancestry (there's actually a long tradition of Lebanese families – just Christian ones, of course – living in the American South, my kung fu teacher Dennis Makool being a prime example of a fifty-something Lebanese-American Baptist good ole boy), and there were some Asian kids, and the first girl whose newly developed boobs I can remember staring at was Josephine Hoffman, whom nobody picked on for being Jewish. But we didn't have any "coloreds," as we called them, although I met (and got beat up by) plenty of them once I was old enough to be bussed off to the Seventh Grade. I could go on, but I suppose that's really a subject for another essay.

    So, why I am I calling this blog "Confessions of a Monster Boomer" instead of "Confessions of a Deceptively Youthful Rake Who's Really an Old Fuck?" Like the fate of Han Solo, frozen in his cozy Carbonite, the answer is . . .

    To Be Continued.



    [Full article]
    22:20
    No title »Not Bloody Likely
    I Was Twelve Years Old: She Was Naked and Headless

    The story you’re about to read is true. Nobody’s name is changed and nobody is innocent. And oy, did I just date myself with that Dragnet riff! You young whipper-snappers are probably thinking “what’s that duffer going on about, anyway?”

    I’ve told this story before and will again. It formed the basis of the rather belated “Christmas” letter I mailed out to various friends since this last Spring. I've also sold a version of it to the local arts and politics tabloid Yes! Weekly, where it's the cover story of this week's issue. My editor there thought my title above too subtle and understated, and called it "A Haunting on Holden," even though the actual address is on Friendly Avenue.

    When I was a kid growing up in the vibrant sin-filled metropolis of Fayetteville, NC, my grandfather would regularly bring me here on weekend trips to Greensboro, where his brother and sister-in-law lived on a poultry farm in the middle of the suburbs, at the intersection of Friendly Avenue and Holden Road.

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    My uncle (actually, my great-uncle) Olan had owned that farm since the surrounding land was countryside, and although the city had grown up around him, he was grandfathered in and allowed to keep chickens and geese and pigeons until he died in the mid 1980s

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    I loved the visits to the farm, even though I was a bit freaked out the first time my uncle deftly picked up a chicken, snapped its head off with a single twist, and dropped it, watching it stagger around in circles and chuckling at how "that damn fool thing still has more brains than most folks I know." Once the chicken collapsed (which might take some time), he would pick up the headless corpse, dip it in scalding water to loosen the feathers, and then it was my job to pluck it for our supper that night.

    I wasn't disgusted or horrified by this. Even as a small child, I understood that the food we ate came from animals, and was fascinated rather than disturbed by the connection between a drumstick and the carcass it once came from. Whenever my mother cooked a turkey or a capon, she would always show me the liver and heart and giblets and explain how each functioned in the living fowl. She also liked to put Cornish game hens (a phrase, which she explained to me, was nothing more than a euphemism for “a little chicken barely out of grade school”) on her hands and make them “dance” on the tabletop for me.

    That didn‘t bother me, and the plucking and cleaning of a recently living bird‘s carcass held no horrors for me. What did bother me was the way a decapitated chicken could still stagger around sans head, a spasmodic reflex that became downright terrifying the time one flapping victim came stumbling right at me and seemed to chase me no matter which way I turned, until it finally collapsed in a kicking heap..

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    Rather than being sympathetic to my terror, my usually taciturn uncle laughed, saying "don't be such a sissy-boy, Ian Keith, the damn thing can't exactly peck you any more, can it?"

    Life was hard for the poor chickens on my uncle's farm, in more than just the usual ways. Olan owned a friendly (well, to me) drooly pitbull bitch named Ginger, who lived in a chain link run beside the chicken coop

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    Every so often an unlucky chicken would fly over the fence and into Ginger's territory. No, she wouldn't eat it or tear it to shreds, Instead, she buried it, taking apparent care not to injure it in the process, leaving behind a small mound of earth with the poor chicken's feet sticking out of it. My uncle liked to joke that Ginger was trying to grow herself a chicken patch. If he found one of Ginger's victim's while the smothered bird was still relatively fresh, we ate chicken stew that night.

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    Ginger and my uncle weren't the only chicken killers who lived on the farm. There was my Aunt Virginia's rangy black tomcat, who'd lost an eye and half an ear in his battles with chickens over the years (roosters are pretty damn tough).

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    When he was just a kitten, the cat had been named, ahem, "Niggerman,“ just like in H. P. Lovecraft’s “The Rats in the Walls,“ but my mother told my great-aunt that she didn't want me hearing that word, and thus the cat was re-christened Tar Baby. My uncle hated Tar Baby for the way he kept killing chickens (oddly enough, he generally left the pigeons, which should have been much easier prey, alone) and continually threatened to shoot him or feed him to Ginger, but my Aunt Virginia would then sweetly say "Olan, anything happens to that cat, I'll invite my sister Margaret to come live with us." That always shut him up.

    Now, Tar Bay may have hated chickens, but he loved me, and whenever I visited, he spent the night on the pillow beside my head, purring like an electric engine.

    One weekend when I was maybe eleven or twelve years old, I'd come with my grandfather on one of his regular visits to Olan's and Virginia's. I forget what I'd done that day, but I'll always remember that night.

    The house was very old and drafty and creaky, full of heirlooms and dust. The guest room I slept in was on the third floor (fourth if you count the basement, which was actually ground level around back, as the house was built on a steep incline). I was supposed to be sharing a bed with my grandfather, but he preferred to fall asleep in the big recliner in front of the floor-model Westinghouse television in the second-floor living room, while I'd go upstairs to read myself to sleep after Wrestling (or as my grandfather called it, "My Fights") was over (well, on Friday nights, I would; on Saturdays, I'd stay up to watch Shock Theater).

    So there I was, alone in the wee hours in that high creaking room under the attic eaves, Tar Baby purring in my ear, drowsing off while reading a book of horror stories from Whitman Classics (a line of small, cheap children’s hardcovers that were sold in the toy sections of department stores) called More Tales to Tremble By. I still own this excellent little anthology of horror stories, which cost $.69 at Woolworths and which was my introduction to such classics as Saki’s “Srendi Vashtar,” H. R. Wakefield’s “The Red Lodge” and M. R. James’ “Casting the Runes.” I still own it.

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    When my eyelids got heavy, I put the book on the end table, laid my glasses beside it, and switched off the light. Sometime after that, I’m not sure how much later, I became aware that someone else was in the room with me.

    For most of my life, I've been troubled by dreams, or apparent dreams, in which I'm lying in bed, apparently still awake, and a dark form enters the room. In my childhood days, the form was usually a menacing one, a monster or boogeyman, and I'd awaken with a shout or a scream. A few years later, it would be a female one, sometimes that of a girl I knew and had a crush on or lusted after. In those later waking dreams, the figure (which was generally a silhouette, but which I could "see" far more clearly that I would actually have been able to see anyone or anything in a dark room while not wearing my glasses) would remove articles of clothing as it approached., and I often felt more frustration than relief at the way I always woke up before she either got completely naked or actually climbed into the bed with me. This apparition may have been a harbinger of those hormonal adolescent fantasies, but it was not erotic or tantalizing.

    The whole experience much clearer and detailed and more coherent than my usual dreams, and at no time did I think "oh, I must be dreaming." I could feel my beating heart, hear my own breath and the creaking of the ancient house around me. And the figure was more than just a silhouette.

    That house, which still stands, is on the corner of Friendly Avenue and Holden Road, a busy intersection, and there was a street lamp on that corner. Filtered through the tall trees that surrounded the house, that light formed a pale rectangle on the bedroom wall. I "awoke" conscious of someone in the room with me and immediately knowing it was not my grandfather, and when that figure stepped in front of the pale rectangle of light, it was more than just a shadowy form.

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    It was a woman, dressed in a long dark old-fashioned dress with a high neck, and a pale apron with dark stains on it. The light illuminated her from the shoulders to just below the knees, so that I couldn't see her head or her feet.

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    Standing silently there, she began to undress. It wasn’t a striptease (not that I’d seen one at the time). There was nothing lascivious about it. She undressed like someone preparing for bed at the end of a long and draining day. First the stained apron came off, then layer after layer of clothing, including a girdle and bloomers, until at last she stood there nude.

    She didn't look like any nude woman I'd ever seen or thought about. At that age I’d never actually viewed a naked woman in the flesh, but I imagined them a lot, and sometime sketched them in the secret drawing pad I kept behind my bookshelf. In doing this, my primary model was 1970 Playmate of the Year Marilyn Cole (yes, I was actually able to remember her name without looking her up in the delightfully named boobpedia.com). Her “hot librarian” photo spread in my father’s hidden magazine had been burned into my subconscious, and was invariably what appeared behind my eyelids whenever my hormonal imagination conjured up on undraped female form.


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    But that’s not what happened in this case.

    The female figure that had begun undressing in the guest bedroom of that creaky old house nothing like a Playmate. She had wide hips, meaty thighs, small floppy breasts. Much like a typical nude in a late 19th century photograph, albeit even fleshier and somehow older and more careworn.

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    She began to walk towards me. As she padded closer to the bed, the rectangle of light from the window moved her up her body, illuminating the place where her head should have been. There wasn't even a stump, just a depression between her shoulder blades.

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    I did four things more or less at once. Woke up (assuming I'd been dreaming and this wasn't really happening). Hurled the cat curled up beside my head at where the headless apparition was standing. Switched on the light. Fumbled for my glasses.

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    There was nothing there. Just Tar Baby, crouched stiffly in the middle of the floor, glaring at me with his one eye in way that seemed to say "What the fuck is your problem?"

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    Then he sat down and began to lick his own balls (he was not a neutered tomcat), before stalking back to the bed, jumping up beside me, and sitting with his head pointing away from me and his ass in my face, which was his way of getting me back for throwing him like that. But he was a forgiving sort, at least with me, and in a few minutes he was curled up and purring again.

    I never said anything about this dream, if it was a dream, to my aunt or uncle or my grandfather. Decades later, when my grandfather and my Uncle Olan were dead and my Aunt Virginia had sold the farm and moved into the Quaker Friends home, I attended a party in that house, which was owned by a local doctor and rented to a bunch of Guilford College students. One of the girls who lived there said that the house was haunted, and that the ghost was that of a woman. I asked her if the ghost had a head. She said she didn't know, that she herself had never seen it, and that those who claimed they had simply described brief glimpses of a female form in a long trailing dress disappearing around corners. On one of my last visits to my Aunt Virginia in the Friends Home, I asked her about this, but she was badly failing at that point and couldn't give me a coherent answer.

    Do I actually think I saw a ghost? No, I do not, at least not in the daylight, or when I'm sober. I'm very much aware of the vagaries of memory, and of how our subconscious can lead us to construct coherent and detailed narratives from badly recollected and impressionistic scraps. Late last year I was reading the World Question Center website, where a variety of leading scientists and intellectuals were asked “What have you changed your mind about?” For Neuroscientist Joseph LeDoux, it was the fundamental nature of memory:

    Like many scientists in the field of memory, I used to think that a memory is something stored in the brain and then accessed when used. Then, in 2000, a researcher in my lab, Karim Nader, did an experiment that convinced me, and many others, that our usual way of thinking was wrong. In a nutshell, what Karim showed was that each time a memory is used, it has to be restored as a new memory in order to be accessible later. The old memory is either not there or is inaccessible. In short, your memory about something is only as good as your last memory about it. This is why people who witness crimes testify about what they read in the paper rather than what they witnessed. Research on this topic, called reconsolidation, has become the basis of a possible treatment for post-traumatic stress disorder, drug addiction, and any other disorder that is based on learning.

    http://www.edge.org/q2008/q08_1.html#ledoux


    It's true that, if my childhood self had been asked to sketch a naked woman, that mini-me would have drawn someone like a temptress from a Frank Frazetta paintin or a Playmate. So, no, the apparition didn’t have the kind of female body my eleven or twelve-year-old imagination would have conjured up. And before she disrobed, she was wearing a long dark dress of the sort that the students who later lived in that house described.

    But this doesn‘t convince me. As LeDoux says, memories aren’t a digital video loop that plays back over and over again in the same form. Today, and ten years ago, upon thinking back to that night, I "see" the body I've sketched in here, but that doesn't mean I really "saw" it that way then. I have the writer's instinct to make stories detailed and convincing, and I suspect this "memory" has mutated quite a bit in the many years since it happened.

    Still, I've found myself thinking about it in the last couple of years, and I think I'd like to find out who's living in that house now, and ask them what they've heard and seen and dreamed while under that creaking roof

    [Full article]
    22:20
    No title »Not Bloody Likely
    While at Barnes and Noble this weekend, I picked up Neil Gaiman's new short novel for children The Graveyard Book and Kelly Link's new Young Adult collection Pretty Monsters. Despite the fact that most of my tattoos are from classic kid's books, I'm not a huge reader of contemporary children's or young adult literature (it may amaze some of you that I've never read Lemony Snickett or even J. K. Rowling), although my ex-girlfriend was, and my last published novella, "They are girls, green girls," had something of a Young Adult feel to it.

    But Neil and Kelly are friends, albeit friends that I've not talked to in several years, and I think Kelly is one of the two best short story writers currently working in the English language (Neil agrees with me on that) and that Neil is hugely talented and deserves his huge success, even though I don't read him as much as I used to (I strongly disliked American Gods, which seems churlish of me to admit, as I'm one of the many people he thanks in the afterword).

    Surprisingly, Kelly's book proved easier to find, as it was prominently displayed on the New Releases shelf at the front of the Young Readers section. Neil's I couldn't find at all, causing me to check the fantasy and the graphic novels sections, to see if it had been shelved where his older fans might notice it, but no, it wasn't there, and the bookfinder workstation claimed it was in "Juvenile Fiction." I finally asked a dottering old guy in a Barnes and Noble apron, but he couldn't find it either, and it took him asking a goth girl co-worker "have you seen the new book by that Neil Guy-man fella?" to turn it up. It actually had its own display rack, but one buried away at the very back corner of the Children's section.

    At least I hadn't tried to find it at the local Borders, where I'm told by a former manager that their computer claims they don't have it yet, even though they really do, similarly buried in the back of the children's section where none of the staff knows to look. This seems odd, as the book has been getting a lot of press; a rave from Stephen Merritt of the Magnetic Fields in the New York Times Book Review, a rave at the Onion's AV Club, an NPR interview, etc.

    I actually prefer Kelly as a writer to Neil (it's okay for me to say that, as he'd immediately agree with me), but I saved hers for last and am currently midway through his. It think it's the best thing he's written since Coraline (which I consider to be his most artistically succesful non-comics work). That it's essentially a riff on Kipling's The Jungle Book, with an orphaned boy being raised by ghosts (and a vampire who is essentially the Bagheera character) in a crumbling graveyard, only adds to the delight.

    In the last couple of weeks I've seen Apaloosa and Tell No One in the theater. The first is a really fine old-school kickass Western that tweaks the traditional plots (there are several) in unusual ways, with exemplary work from Ed Harris and Viggo Mortensen as gunslingers who are practically a platonic couple and some really well-staged shoot-outs, refreshingly nasty and quick. Plus, Lance Henricksen! The second is a terrific French thriller based on an American novel by Harlan Coben, the plot of which it actually improves considerably. I can't recommend it strongly enough; the performances are all first-rate, there's a scary female henchman (an Asian male in the book), a splendid tense foot chase through Parisian traffic, and a nice sense we're seeing the "real" Paris rather than the usual movie one. Plus, despite the pace, it gives its characters room to breathe and they aren't just there to serve the plot. For instance, Kristin Scott-Thomas (who's been working in France for years) plays the wife (yes, wife) of the hero's sister, who is also his best friend. In an American thriller, you know she would end up either the killer or a victim, but I think it's one of the film's virtues that neither happens, and that her friendship with the protaganist is treated as something that just IS, rather than a red herring.
    Now to watch the season finale of Mad Men, once it pops up On Demand.

    [Full article]
    22:20
    No title »Not Bloody Likely
    Fire up that Damn Grill!

    It's almost a heartbreakingly beautiful day in this part of North Carolina. For no particular reason, other than a way of taking my mind off heavier and more foreboding matters, here are some recipes. First off, one for the unabashed carnivores.

    Get you some goddam pig ribs! Open a can of PBR. Drink it. Open another can and pour it into a big bowl. Pour in a can of chicken broth. Pour in 1-2 cans of water. Boil that shit. Once it gets all bubbly like, throw in the pig ribs. Let 'em boil for about a minute.

    Mix up some salt, pepper, apple butter, molasses, vinegar and Worcestershire sauce. Now, I don't hold with that "proportions" shit and don't get all pansy-ass with measuring cups and table spoons, so all I can tell you is to mix it till it tastes right.

    Paint it on the ribs and put them suckers on the grill. Turn 'em regular, and slather on more of the sauce as they dry out. The beauty of boiling them in the beer and chicken broth first is you don't have to worry yourself so much about them not being cooked all the way the through and giving you some god-awful disease, so you can pretty much take them off the grill at the first sign that they're done.

    That's some damn fine eating. An ex of mine, a little Jewish gal who despite having grown up all Hebrewsky was fine with the swine, said it was the best bone-in pig she ever did eat.

    Okay, for you pesky pescadaria, here's another recipe.

    Go to your local carnaceria and get some whole tilapia. Don't be a pussy and get all worried about not speaking Spanish, or, if you do, that you don't know the Spanish for tilapia. Look for whole fish that resemble Oscars from the aquarium section of a pet shop (they may actually be Oscars, since "tilapia" is not a species but a broad term that covers a range of cichlids). When he or she sees that you're a gringo, the butcher or fish monger may ask you if you want them filleted or otherwise cut up. You don't. That is to say, you want them gutted and scaled, but you want to leave the tails, and particularly the heads, attached. It's okay to cut off the fins (other than the tail) , though.

    Now, you or the people you're planning to serve may be the sort of candy-ass separated-from-nature middle-class whitebread Americans who get all knicker-twisted at the sight of food with a face on it. If so, you can always cut the heads off after you've cooked the fish. But as Latinos, Asians and Europeans already know, fish tastes better when it's cooked with the head still on it. That's because the head contains 60% of the fat.

    Once you're back home with your fish, mix some apple butter (or, if you prefer, honey), soy sauce, lemon juice and minced garlic in a pan. As I said above in the colorful whiskey-tango patois of my people, I don't generally hold with exact portions, I just mix the stuff until it tastes interesting. Rub it into the fish, inside and out, and then soak some tortillas in it. Sprinkle the fish with sea salt, basil, cilantro and freshly ground pepper. Put some lemon slices in the fish's body cavity. Wrap the soggy tortillas around the fish, covering them completely in a mummy-like wrap. If the tilapia are of any size, you'll need several tortillas per fish.

    Put either a banana leaf or a sheet of tin foil on the hot grill. If you opt to use a banana leaf, you can get these at many Asian and Latino markets. They're usually sold frozen, so be sure you've thawed it out in warm water. The banana leaf or tinfoil keeps the fish and its soggy tortilla cocoon from sticking to your grill. The advantage of the banana leaf is that it adds a nice smoky flavor as it cooks. If the fish weigh less than a pound each, grill for about 4-8 minutes per side. If they weigh more than pound each, grill for 8-10 minutes per side. When the fish is done, you can serve it in its crispy tortilla cocoon as though it were en papillote, or you can pry off the tortilla casing and cut off the heads for more your squeamish guests.

    You want some vegetables, you say? Sweet white corn is particularly easy. Don't take it out of the husk. Put a cup of sugar in a large pan of water and bring to a boil, stirring until the sugar dissolves. Put in the ears of corn, but only after the water has cooled a bit, as you're not trying to cook it. Soak it for about twenty minutes, then put it on the hot grill. Turn it every few minutes until the outer husk starts to get a bit black and crispy. Peel off the husk and sprinkle the ear of corn with sea salt and black pepper. Add a little butter if you're feeling decadent.

    Goddam, now I'm hungry.

    [Full article]
    22:20
    No title »Not Bloody Likely
    I didn't mean to join the crowd that had come chanting down Tate Street

    There maybe five hundred of them, maybe even more, fists pounding the air, shouting "O-bam-a" and "U-S-A" and "Yes we can!" I didn't mean to suddenly feel, not like I was watching history, but I was part of it. I thought I'd stand on the sidelines, like the cops who'd come roaring up sirens blaring, and who only recently had still been debating amongst themselves whether to disperse the crowd so cars could pass or block the street so that the cars couldn't attempt to drive through the throng.

    I'd come down to Tate Street, a block and a half from where I live, because I thought a drink and the company of engaged and enthusiastic friends, acquaintances and quasi-strangers would keep me from getting too depressed. An hour earlier, I'd found out that doctors are most likely going to be cutting off my father's foot this weekend, or maybe even his whole leg, that the femoral graft he'd had some years ago had failed, as he and I had been warned it eventually would, and that gangrene had set in.

    For a moment, I felt horrible about not feeling horrible, and then, for a while, I didn't even feel bad about that. A cute little blond whom I'd only previously known by face came charging across the street to kiss me. People I knew and people I didn't know were clapping me on the back. The cops had gone from looking apprehensive or even annoyed to smiling.

    Years ago, I'd sat in the bar that I was now standing outside of and watched the Berlin Wall come down. At the time, I'd idly wondered what it must feel like to be live that, to not just watch it but to be part of it.

    And now, for however briefly, I knew, or thought I knew, and the rush was so powerful it was almost scary.

    I don't know what I'll feel tomorrow. Probably, after I've called my father's hospital room and talked to him, the dreadful things he's facing will be real to me, realer than the crowd, realer than the history. But not yet, and if I'm lucky, as selfish as I feel for saying this, maybe not until I wake up.

    [Full article]
    22:20
    No title »Not Bloody Likely
    Nothing says "Merry Christmas" like a sadistic child-abusing man-goat!

    Those wacky Germans gave Saint Nicholas a hairy demon famliar who beats bad children with sticks, stuffs them in barrels or sacks, and drops them in streams. And no, Der Krampus isn't just some half-forgotten Medieval tradition; he (or they, as in some cases there are roving mobs of them) takes an active in of Xmas festivities in modern Germany, where revelers lovingly make their own costumes, complete with real goat horns and real goat ears. That's so completely awesome.

    I don't know who this woman is, but she's cute.








    Krampus revelers:








    Krampus parade in Graz







    A Krampus attack on noplused American tourists in Austria:








    Krampuses (Krampii?) outside Salzburg.








    Some really impressive horns on these guys!













    [Full article]
    22:20
    No title »Not Bloody Likely
    A warm delightful Chrimas treat!

    The Greatest Gift:
    A Tale for Christmas


    by Ian Keith McDowell

    Author of The Little Lame Angel,
    The Tender Ducklings and other Yuletide favorites.

    It was Christmas in the little village of Leaking Festers, and snow was falling from the sky like cold down, to spread across the fields in soft white blankets and pile up against doors and shutters like bags of heavy laundry. It was a day for the roaring hearth and the wassail cup and the smell of goose and pudding and more than anything, it was a day for children. At least, that's what little Simon and Emily's mum had said, before taking the broom to them and driving them outside.

    "Go play in the snow, then!" she'd snapped softly, "and for Christ's sake, give me a moment's bloody peace!" Not that she was likely to get that, with the baby screaming and carrying on so, like a cat dropped in a bag of hot coals.

    "Not so nice of Mum to toss us out like that," said Simon, picking a particularly fine booger from his frosty nose, inserting it into a snowball, and throwing it at Emily, who ducked instinctively. "And us without good boots, even!"

    "Ah, she's just wanting some, what'cher call it? . . . privacy, that's it, so she can drink her gin. You know how Mum is about her gin."

    At this point, they met Mrs. Sheepshanks, who lived down the lane. "Why children, you shouldn't be out in this cold without proper boots," said Mrs. Sheepshanks.

    "We ain't got none, you stupid cow," said Emily in the forthright manner that made her the darling of the village. "Mum spent all her money on gin."

    "Well then, my little dears," said Mrs. Sheepshanks, "you must come and warm yourselves before my fire. My husband's gone to buy a goose for our dinner, and I'll be glad for the company, as the Good Lord has not seen fit to bless us with darling children of our own."

    And with that, she took them back to her house. On the way, Simon leaned close and whispered to Emily. "A goose indeed; everyone knows the Sheepshanks haven't any money." "Quiet, you git," responded Emily, elbowing him sharply. "She's bein' nice to us. Besides, they might have something worth stealing."

    As it turned out, the Sheepshanks did not, but the children still spent a pleasant hour before the fire, while Mrs. Sheepshanks told them marvelous stories of all the things she and her husband had seen during the Indian Mutiny. Simon especially like the part about tying mutineers to the mouths of cannons, and it made him laugh no end, as he tried to imagine the expressions on the faces of the Sepoys just before
    the stout British soldiers blew them in half. Mrs. Sheepshanks, for her part, was charmed by the children's manners. "It's a shame," she said, "that a drunken slut like your mother should have such fine lambs, while John and myself
    have remained childless."

    "Goose-less too," said big bluff John Sheepshanks as he came tramping in the door. "Prices have gone up, and what few pennies I've saved couldn't fetch a scrawny chicken. It's turnips for Christmas, I'm afraid."

    "How unfortunate that we once were wealthy," said Mrs. Sheepshanks, "and could dine on goose and oysters and suckling pig. But the Lord moves in mysterious ways. Would you dear children like to take some turnips back to your mother?"

    "No thank you, m'am," said Simon. "We have plenty of those."
    Casting one furtive look around the small cottage, the children departed for home.

    When they got there, they found their mother sprawled drunkenly in her chair, smelling of gin and snoring, while the baby wailed in his cradle. "Oh, be quiet, Algie," said Simon crossly.

    "I think we should do something Christmas-like for the Sheepshanks," said Emily thoughtfully. "Give 'em a nice present."

    "Like what?" asked Simon. "We've not got much."

    "Well, how about Algie here? He ain't good for much, is he, except bawling and peeing in his diaper. And Mrs. Sheepshanks was all sad they don't have children."

    "Wizard!" said Simon. "We can leave him on their doorstep with a note pinned to him, like he was from Father Christmas."

    Emily got a pencil and laboriously wrote "Fer you, frum Father Christmaz" on a piece of paper, which she deftly pinned to Algernon. Unfortunately, she pinned it to his little chest rather than his diaper, and he began to bawl even more fiercely
    than before.

    "Crikey," said Emily as she handed her squalling bundle to Simon. "Can't you shut him up? They won't want him if he's all loud and nasty. We got any of that laudanum stuff?"

    "No," said Simon, "but maybe I can stun him a bit." Saying
    that, he took Algernon by the heels and swung his little noggin sharply against the stones of the hearth. Unfortunately, he swung a bit too hard.

    "Now you've done it, clumsy," said Emily. "His head's all bashed in. What will they want with a dead baby?"

    Simon, who was good at thinking quickly, looked about the cottage. "Well, let's see. Mum will be out for a while, and the stove is still hot. We have turnips and such for dressing, and a little of that cranberry sauce you nicked from the
    Sexton's house. I bet we could dress him out like a goose and cook him, and the Sheepshanks would never know the difference. They're a bit thick, I think."

    And that, dear reader, is exactly what they did. Mr. and Mrs. Sheepshanks opined that it was the best goose they'd ever eaten, although Mrs. Sheepshanks wondered what the children had done to it to make it taste so much like suckling pig.

    Little Simon and Emily just smiled bashfully, and Mr. Sheepshanks was so moved, he immediately declared that such clever children should live with him and his wife forthwith, and not with their drunken slut of a mother. And that is what happened, and they lived very happily ever after, or at least until the next winter, when they all died of the Small Pox.

    [Full article]
    22:20
    The woman from the "Singles Over 40" ad stalked me last night »Not Bloody Likely
    For some reason, I had a nightmare about the big-boobed brunette with the black bar over her eyes that's featured in a "Singles Over 40" ad that keeps popping up on my Facebook page. I was trying to negotiate the New York subway system, attempting to get to a production of King Lear starring my old neighbor Tom Savini (who created the original Jason makeup for Friday the 13th and who played the biker Sex Machine in From Dusk Till Dawn and had a part in Grindhouse) and the woman from the ad was suddenly chasing me. She was wearing a tight black sweater, just like in the ad, and the black bar that obscured her eyes seemed to float a couple of inches out from her face (rather than being pasted across it like a physical object). I don't really remember much of the dream other that that.

    It's interesting how the subconscious works. That ad was one of the last things I'd seen before shutting off this computer and tumbling bedwards, and I'd seen it just after looking at Tom's profile (I'd only recently tracked him down on Facebook, after writing about him in a previous blog). I have no idea why the woman in the ad has the old-school-porn-style black bar over her eyes, as the other women I've seen in ads for that site do not. I don't think I was particularly traumatized by the ad itself (and Cthulhu knows, I'm generally something other than traumatized by big-boobed brunettes), as when I saw it, the ad mainly reminded me of browsing magazines at Tyler's News and Camera in Fayetteville, NC, when I was a kid and my grandfather would take me there before buying me dinner on Friday nights.

    No, no, I wasn't looking at porn when I did that back then, even though I've already mentioned such black bars as being a feature of really old-school (i.e., before even my time) pornography. But back in the 70s, there were a lot of magazines on the stands devoted to professional wrestling, and along with the usual stuff about the big-name "wrasslers" (as my grandfather called them) of the day, such as Johnny Weaver and (of course) Nature Boy Rick Flair, they usually had a photo-feature about "Apartment Wrestling." In these photos and articles, hot girls in underwear (or sometimes less) would "wrestle" in "private sessions" for the benefit of "wrestling afficianados." Even then, I could tell that the photos were staged and that no actual wrestling had taken place, but my twelve-year-old-self was excited by them anyway, even though I was confused by why the women in the photos always had black bars over their eyes (and over their nipples when they tore off each other's bras). So that's what the Facebook ad reminded me of, and it wasn't a particularly traumatic childhood memory (indeed, for a moment it made me smell my grandfather's tobacco smoke and anticipate a meal of broiled chicken at the Greek restaurant he always took me to after buying me comics and monster magazines and Conan novels at that newsstand).

    But in my subsequent dream, the woman was SCARY and I was desperately trying to get away from her. In a weird way, I think this is because I'd seen Coraline (which I recommend highly, whether you see in 2D or 3D) earlier in the evening, and the floating black bar over the pursuing woman's eyes was in some way a distorted id-reflection of the black button eyes in the movie (and in Neil Gaiman's original novel, his best work until The Graveyard Book).

    Which, when you think about, is a really weird, and weirdly random, chain of associations. But that's the subconscious for you. Or at least that's mine. That's why so few dream sequences in films and TV shows are psychologically convincing; they're just never arbitrary enough.

    [Full article]
    22:20
    Tom Savini’s Frankenstein Mask and Lisa Hill's Butt »Not Bloody Likely
    Warning: the story you're about to read contains full-frontal nudity. Well, okay, it's just one drawing, a sketchy and not terribly detailed cartoon image, but it's of me taking a naked picture of myself when I was fourteen years old. That case of Ian-decent exposure is the central image of this sordid narrative of youthful folly, and it would be counter to my trademark "Egad, The Man Knows No Shame!" approach not to have included it. I considered drawing a little black square over the naughty bits, but that seems silly, especially when the "bits" in question are just a couple of squiggles with a Sharpie. R. Crumb and Chester Browne, both big influences on my autobiographiacl noodlings, have tackled similar material without censoring themselves.

    So, with that caveat, forward, or rather, backward, to my degenerate adolescence. Seriously, folks, this may well be my most depraved story ever. I'm not actually sure that I want random strangers reading this, but I can't seem to help myself.

    When I was fourteen years old, or maybe fifteen, I'm not sure which, I was greatly enamored of Lisa Hill (I’ve changed the name for obvious reasons), who sat in front of me in my algebra class. Lisa was a tall solidly-built redhead who scowled at the world through big hippie-chick glasses and who strode through the hallways with a loping Bigfoot stride. She was, in modern parlance, "thick." To put it another way, she looked like she'd been co-designed by R. Crumb and Russ Meyer.

    Photobucket

    Now, I must confess that, at that age, I wasn't the suave and sophisticated charmer I am now. To say I was socially maladroit, even by the norms of early adolescent geekdom, is a gross understatement. Truth to tell, I was utterly unsocialized and downright creepy. I didn't talk to very many people, and none of the few I did talk to were girls. As the character Jeff once remarked on the Britcom Coupling, it's very hard to talk to people when you're imagining them naked. Being a spotty little perv, that's what I was doing most of the time, my hormonal imagination fueled by fantasies about Pam Grier, Adrienne Barbeau and Frank Frazetta's cavegirls.

    Photobucket

    I never talked to Lisa. I never even smiled or made eye contact with her. But five days a week, I sat behind her, gazing straight into the inviting abyss of her butt prominent cleavage. It was hard not to. Although Lisa seemed nearly as introverted as me, she didn't dress in concealing nerdgirl clothes, but favored tight high-riding t-shirts and low-riding bell-bottoms that exposed her buttcrack when her ample freckled bottom was squeezed into the seat in front of me. Five days a week, I stared into that delicious strawberry abyss, and if the abyss didn't stare back, there were times when it seemed to be speaking to me.

    Photobucket

    "Iaaaaaan," it whispered, "Iaaaaaaaaaaaan! Here I am, just waiting for you. Go ahead and stick your finger in me. You know you want to."

    Eventually, I obeyed.

    I'll always remember the first time I touched her skin. It was not an insertion, just a glancing touch, the first knuckle on my right hand brushing against her right butt cheek. I expected her to protest, to at least shudder or gasp in muffled outrage, and God knows what I would have done if she'd whipped around given me that witheringly direct stare of hers (or, even more deservedly, a sound thrashing). But no, she just stolidly sat there. Not a sigh. Not a gasp. Not a quiver. I hand might have been as insubstantial as that of a ghost or The Vision in Marvel Comics’ The Avengers.

    So, I did it again. Again, no reaction. From her, I mean. My own body reacted plenty, from heart-beat to hard-on.

    I spent the last five minutes of Home Room with one knuckle pressed against the base of her spine, right above the deepening cleft of her butt, that quarter-inch of skin-to-skin contact a conduit for a heady rush of feelings I can't even begin to describe.

    And then the bell rang, and I snatched my hand back, and she got up and walked past me without looking at me, head held high and massive chest thrust out, the same formidable loping stride as always. Nothing about her attitude suggested she was fleeing or even stalking out in an indignant mood, just going about her business. My eyes followed the stretched denim covering her bulging bifurcated backside out of the room, as I sat there waiting for my tumescence to subside.

    I spent the next day's Home Room with my knuckle pressed against her butt the whole time. Once again, she didn't acknowledge the contact in any way. She shifted in her seat, as anyone does when sitting in one of those uncomfortable chairs, and sometimes her movement broke the contact, but at other times, it pressed her cleft back against my clenched digit.

    After a week or so of this, I finally dared to extend my forefinger and actually insert it into the top of her exposed butt-cleavage. Not deeply, not a full oil check, and no, the experience never became proctological. Just to the first joint, which, considering that she was almost as voluptuous in the rear as she was in the front, wasn't all that far at all.

    And so, day after day, and then week after week, I spent Home Room with my finger in her butt and neither one of us acknowledging it.

    You'd think this would have been my cue to, you, TALK to her, to ask her on a date, to make eye contact and smile. But no, I couldn't bring myself to do that. Which, in retrospect, makes absolutely no sense. What kind of creepy perv finds it easier to stick a finger into a girl's butt than to talk to her?

    Even then, I was more comfortable putting things in writing than saying them out loud. Clearly, I told myself, Lisa in some way welcomed my bizarro attentions, or at least didn't seem to mind them. Clearly, I needed to declare myself. Clearly, I needed to let her know that I wanted to know her. Yes, really. I wanted to know what she watched on TV, what movies she went to, what she read, what she did for fun. But I couldn't ask her these things out loud, even after I'd been putting my finger in her butt for almost a month.

    Besides sitting behind her in Home Room, and occasionally passing her in the hall or seeing her from a distance in the cafeteria or library, there was another space that Lisa and I shared. We rode the same bus to and from school. Our stops were far apart, we never got on the bus at the same time, and she tended to sit in the back, with the only friends I ever saw her talk to (I can't even remember who they were or what they looked like), whereas I was always reading a Conan novel or a comic book up front. Even after a couple of weeks of physical contact in Home Room, this routine didn't change. Yes, I surely could have managed to "accidentally" end up sitting near her, or even beside her, but I never did. I never even tried. I didn't have the guts.

    Instead, I decided to write her a note. For some deranged reason, I felt it should be an anonymous one. I'd write her, tell that I had an aching crush on her, ask her if she'd be willing to hang out with me after school. But I wouldn't sign it, and would instead give her instructions on how to reply if she was interested, how she should write me back and where she should leave her response. But that wasn't enough. I had to do something more than that.

    So I decided to take a Polaroid photo of myself wearing nothing but a mask and wrap that the note around it and stick it through the vent in her locker. Clearly, this was a plan of genius, the masterwork of a master seducer. Don Juan and Casanova and the Fonz were looking down on me from Heaven in awe (well, not so much the Fonz, as he not only wasn't dead but had yet to jump that shark).

    I know it makes no rational sense. What can I say? Fourteen-year-olds are fucked-up. I was more fucked-up than most. I truly am better now, I promise. Really. Please don’t be scared.

    At the time I had a neighbor named Tom Savini. You may have heard of Tom. He's a veteran make-up and special effects technician who designed Jason for the original Friday the 13thand several sequels and did gore effects for dozens of slasher films in the 80s. He played the biker Sex Machine in From Dusk Till Dawn and a deputy in Planet Terror. To the readers of Fangoria and other such magazines, he is a god, or used to be.

    Photobucket

    At the time, though, he was an amateur actor who performed in plays with my father at the Fayetteville Little Theater and the Fort Bragg Playhouse, where he also did some very ambitious make-ups. His house was full of masks and costumes, some of which he'd built himself. I liked to borrow his gorilla suit and terrorize the younger kids in my neighborhood. At the time of my infatuation with Lisa, I had also borrowed his full over-the-head mask of the Frankenstein Monster, which he'd carefully constructed of molded latex and real human hair.

    Photobucket

    After some experimentation with lights and mirrors, I managed to take a Polaroid picture of myself wearing nothing but the Frankenstein mask. And Keds.

    Photobucket

    I took that picture, wrapped my long and passionate note around it, and slipped it into Lisa's locker. In the note, I told her that, if she was interested in meeting me, in finding out who her naked admirer was (because she'd NEVER guess it was the guy who'd been putting his finger in her butt in Home Room all these weeks!), she should call the phone number I included at the bottom of it between 4:30 and 6 p.m. in the week day afternoon (that is, after I'd gotten home but before my father had).
    That day, I got on the bus, wishing I was already home, because I sure she was going to call. How could she not?

    My reverie was interrupted by the fact that everyone was staring at me. Some were smiling. Some were laughing out loud. And they were passing something from hand to hand. Something that looked like a Polaroid photograph.

    It was, of course, the picture of me in the Frankenstein mask.

    Lisa sat with her cronies in the back. Hers was the only face that was expressionless. For what may have been the first time ever, our eyes actually met, but her expression didn't change a whit. She didn't smile. She didn't sneer. She didn't frown. She didn't wink. She looked at me exactly the same way she looked at everyone else, and seemed oblivious to the hilarity around her, even though she must have initiated it by sharing the photograph. And the note, which someone, I forget who, began to read aloud.

    I backed off the bus, squeezing past scary Tyrone Gibbons, who told me to watch where the fuck I was going and to keep my fucking clothes on the next time I decided to take a picture of myself. In the back of the bus, someone continued to read my note aloud, mispronouncing several key words. My feet on the sidewalk, I continued to back up, and then I turned, and was walking, then running, away.

    That was early Autumn. For the rest of that year, I walked the four miles to and from school. Even during the winter, which proved to be one of the coldest in Fayetteville's history.

    Photobucket

    Addendum: Since writing an earlier draft of the above, I think I may have found Lisa on MySpace, or at least a redheaded Lisa who went to the same school at about the same time I did. She appears to be gay and a professor of Women’s Studies at a major university in another state. I considered sending her a friend request, but thought better of it.

    [Full article]
    22:20
    Why I love the Super G Mart »Not Bloody Likely
    Today I bought:

    1 rabbit (2.8 lbs)
    6 large quail
    8 whole fresh drumsticks
    8 split seasoned drumsticks
    1 Dozen quail eggs
    5 lb bag of Idaho potatoes
    2 lbs turnip greens
    8 tangerines
    4 12-ounce Mexican Cokes (made with sugar cane, not corn syrup)
    1 pint of green tea icecream

    Total cost: $44.99.

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    22:20
    AJ Blake gets job back »The Troublemaker
    AJ Blake, a police officer who was charged with assaulting a female, has been reinstated to the Greensboro Police Department. Blake was charged and fired before a court of law acquitted him. Police Chief Tim Bellamy and his department recommended Blake's termination. However, Interim City Manager Bob Morgan overruled the decision and hired AJ Blake back today. Blake did receive a demotion and

    [Full article]
    22:20
    Attention SGT Graves! Please let us know your thoughts on the following post! »The Troublemaker
    I got this letter and I am assuming some council members got it as well. I am sure that some of this is true and have heard all of it previously. SGT. Graves?

    [Full article]
    22:20
    Battle of the Bilbro Street benches »The Troublemaker
    The benches on the Greenway will be removed tomorrow and could be gone by lunch time. I will have more soon! TDBS just took one on the chin!

    [Full article]
    22:20
    Copa Rocka »The Troublemaker
    This past weekend, Greensboro Police reported a robbery that took place at 3010 Sands Drive in Greensboro NC. The location is home to the Copa Rocka night club and it has a very interesting past. The original operators of Copa Rocka previously operated the La Frontera night club which was located at 2010 East Cone Blvd. La Frontera was an adult business operating in an area not zoned for

    [Full article]
    22:20
    Crack is King on Maywood Street! This council does not care. »The Troublemaker
    22:20
    Greensboro's Finest »The Troublemaker
    During the last city council meeting there was a closed session. During that closed session the council requested the personnel files of Chief Ron Rogers (left), Captain Cherry and Captain Phipps because the council has heard of the alleged sex scandal that is currently ripping through the department.The scandal was first reported on this blog (of course) in the comments section. Allegedly,

    [Full article]
    22:20
    High Speed chase in Glenwood: GPD Catches Car Thief »The Troublemaker
    Yesterday a vehicle was reported being stolen from Jackson Middle School. Around 7pm, GPD noticed the stolen vehicle on Florida Street and it was on! The chase went through Glenwood with many GPD cars rolling down Oak Street. GPD captured the suspect near Aycock. One Officer reported minor injuries.

    [Full article]
    22:20
    I sure do love campaignin' »The Troublemaker
    The Elect Ben Holder Truck is ready and I am going to go cook hot dogs in District 1. Today's spot is John's Curb Market on East Market Street! Vote for me cuz the Hot Dogs are free!

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    22:20
    If I could comment at Ed's I would. »The Troublemaker
    Over at Ed Cone's there is a discussion about the Greenway benches. Brian Higgins asked me the following question in the comment section.Brian wrote: "Really Ben?...why can't the problem get solved? Especially when there has been no effort to get everyone at the table to try and solve the problem. So, if moving the benches doesn't solve the problem, remind me why we moved them. Brian is

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    22:20
    LAX busted? »The Troublemaker
    For those of who that don't know, LAX is a strip club located at 2216 MLK. There have been complaints about the club's neon sign as well as other negative accusations about the club. The club is located in the building that once housed Pandora's Box (adult video store) and Kyoto Movie Mates. The Asian movie mates operation was shut down when officers charged Kim Bok Gruhn for maintaining a

    [Full article]
    22:20
    N&R ends election confusion! »The Troublemaker
    It's almost election time and some people did not know they have been moved out of their District. Today, the N&R began to clear the muddy water and let folks know what happened. "In 2008 after the city annexed about 10,000 new residents, 26 precincts were moved to new districts."Now we know why districts were changed, but do we know what districts changed? The N&R attempted to break that down

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    22:20
    NC Human Trafficking »The Troublemaker
    I follow human trafficking cases in NC closely and have started public awareness campaigns in Winston-Salem and Greensboro. This week, the Greensboro Public library will begin creating human trafficking information packages for their branches. This is part of the public awareness campaign I started.The Charlotte Police Officer in the above video says human trafficking in Charlotte is unusual.

    [Full article]
    22:20
    NC Human Trafficking Task Force Pitt County and Guilford County »The Troublemaker
    Guilford County Sheriff's Department reported that they will be officially partnering with Pitt County in two weeks.

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    22:20
    Press Conference Tomorrow Morning »The Troublemaker
    I have heard concerns from several people and feel a need to bring attention to a comment made by recently reinstated Greensboro Police Officer AJ Blake.From the N&R:"It's obvious I can't work with (the gang squad)," Blake said. "The threats would be coming more from them than the criminals." Press Conference Info Below!When: Monday September 28 at 10:00 amWhere: Phil G. McDonald Plaza (behind

    [Full article]
    22:20
    Thank you for supporting me! »The Troublemaker
    I got 146 votes. I am thankful for all of them. Nothing has changed here and I have no plans of going anywhere anytime soon. Many good things came from my attempt at running for city council. I will continue to be the Troublemaker.

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    22:20
    The Warnersville Benches »The Troublemaker
    Who would have thought this would become an issue for the city council elections? I certainly never thought that this would get as much attention as it has. I need to clear some things up and get a few things off of my chest regarding my involvement with the benches. First of all, please read the below email composed my Mr. Wilson (City Staff) and I. Mr. Wilsons' text is italicized.I am

    [Full article]
    22:20
    Vote for me, my hot dogs are free! »The Troublemaker
    I am currently the hot dog King on East Market Street!TDBS had a sign at a certain East Market Street location but did not have permission. I guess she feels like she has a right to do whatever she pleases. I pulled her illegal and unwanted sign up and, well...watch the video below!

    [Full article]
    22:20
    Yesterday's Press Conference/Ron Rogers/Mike Oates »The Troublemaker
    I called a press conference yesterday and two media outlets covered the event. News 14 sent a camera man and the News and Record sent a photographer. Amanda Lehmert from the News and Record also attended. The press conference included some small talk and a two minute speech.My speech was about the following statement that was made by Greensboro Police Officer, AJ Blake. "It's obvious I can't

    [Full article]
    22:20
    Post No. 135b: The High Price of Putting One's Foot in One's Mouth »THE VIEW FROM OUTSIDE MY TINY WINDOW

    Yesterday, we re-posted an article dealing with how society might respond to "offensive" or "inappropriate" comments made by those in the public eye. We suggested that the same principles might be applicable to Rep. Joe Wilson, tennis stars Serena Williams and Roger Federer, and entertainer Kayne West.

    Some of these individuals have since made apologies, or have attempted to do so. Back in February of this year, we generated another post, "The High Price of Stubbing Your Toe," which focused on apologies by public figures, and whether society's response to "apologies" truly motivated others to apologize.

    It occurred to us that there is a difference between "embarrassing conduct," and "offensive" or "inappropriate" comments. We are therefore re-posting our earlier piece on apologies, and we have changed its title to "The High Price of Putting One's Foot in One's Mouth."


    © 2009, the Institute for Applied Common Sense

    Owning up to one’s mistakes seems to be one of mortal man’s most difficult acts.

    In January 1998, for example, Bill Clinton famously said, “I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Monica Lewinsky,” though months later, after surviving the ordeal of impeachment, he admitted that his relationship with the young woman had been “wrong” and “not appropriate.”

    A cloud of presidential hanky-panky has hung over him ever since, likely diminishing his legacy, though it’s possible that his efforts around the world will offer some degree of redemption.

    Lately, a new parade of politicians, celebrities, business people and athletes has come forward to face the white-hot glare of public scrutiny.

    The former governor of Illinois, for example, a man seemingly caught red-handed in blatantly illegal activities, stonewalled and attempted to make the case for his innocence on America’s talk shows, at the same time the impeachment machine moved forward unimpeded.

    Earlier this month, we saw Michael Phelps admit, without hesitation, that he made a mistake. Despite this, lucrative sponsorship deals that resulted from his eight Olympic gold medals were immediately withdrawn, and law enforcement conducted an investigation to determine whether criminal charges should be filed.

    Not long ago, another athlete, Alex Rodriguez, arguably the best baseball player of all time, admitted to using performance-enhancement drugs, sullying his past accomplishments and calling into question whether any records he may break in the future will be legitimate achievements.

    In Washington, a respected former Senator, Tom Daschle, up for a key cabinet post in the new administration, ran into a buzz saw when it was revealed that he hadn’t paid taxes on benefits he had received in the position he had held prior to his nomination.

    Daschle’s mea culpa was “too little, too late,” according to his critics, though the same comments were not levied against Timothy Geithner, now Secretary of the Treasury and head of the IRS, when his nomination was questioned over his back taxes owed.

    Later, Geithner, in a pro-active sleight of hand, said that mistakes would be made in the Administration’s effort to stimulate the economy.

    Watching all these large and small melodramas unfold – believe us, Michael Phelps’ mistake was a small one in the big picture – it occurred to us that immediate benefits ought to accrue to those who admit fault and accept responsibility.

    We admire our new president’s forthright response to the Daschle incident.

    “I screwed up,” he said.

    And take note. He said, “I,” not “we” or “my people in charge of vetting cabinet nominees.” Like the small placard that sat on Harry Truman’s desk, the one that read “The buck stops here,” he took ownership of the problem.

    Unfortunately, public reaction to admissions of culpability suggests that we, as a society, may be at risk of making it more and more difficult for people, as the expression goes, to fess up.

    We have become a society that, in many ways, salivates for red meat from the mouths of talk show pundits and late night comedians.

    As children, our parents and teachers encouraged us to tell the truth, even if it meant punishment.

    As we matured, we appreciated that doing the right thing, while not always rewarded at the time, would ultimately prove to be in our long-term interests.

    Somehow, society must create an environment in which citizens, particularly our elected officials, are permitted, even encouraged, to stand up and admit mistakes, with society viewing such admissions, not as signs of weakness but instead, as individual strength.

    At some point, we have to change the culture of denial. Revisiting the potential legal liability associated with acknowledging mistakes might be a start.

    We applaud the Obama administration for initiating the climate change, however underappreciated the effort may seem.

    While the costs to our pride and social standing in the short term may appear to be high, the failure to pay that price up front may have a far greater cost over the long haul.

    And that, ladies and gentlemen, is just plain Common Sense.

    © 2009, the Institute for Applied Common Sense

    [Full article]
    22:20
    Post No. 135c: Three Cheers for Irving Kristol »THE VIEW FROM OUTSIDE MY TINY WINDOW


    Last year, a giant of modern American political thought, William F. Buckley, Jr., passed away. Earlier this month, we lost another giant, Irving Kristol. Although their views of the Universe did not always mesh with ours, we respected their thought processes, and the fact they did not rigidly adhere to the positions of any particular party.

    They had the ability to analyze each issue objectively and present their positions with clarity. Perhaps more importantly, they did not find the need to yell or scream, thus prompting more people to listen to their views. We were big fans.

    David Brooks of the New York Times has written a column about the life of Mr. Kristol, and his thoughts are provided below. To give you some sense of Mr. Kristol, the following is a quote attributed to him:

    "There are different kinds of truths for different kinds of people. There are truths appropriate for children; truths that are appropriate for students; truths that are appropriate for educated adults; and truths that are appropriate for highly educated adults, and the notion that there should be one set of truths available to everyone is a modern democratic fallacy. It doesn't work."


    David Brooks: Three Cheers for Irving Kristol


    Wednesday, September 23, 2009

    By David Brooks

    “Irving Kristol was born into a fanatical century and thrust himself into every ideologically charged battle of his age. In the 1930s, as a young socialist, he fought the Stalinists. In the 1940s, as a soldier, he fought fascism. In the decades beyond, as a writer and intellectual, he engaged with McCarthyism, the cold war, the Great Society, the Woodstock generation, the culture wars of the 1970s, the Reagan revolution and so on.

    “The century was filled with hysterias, all of which he refused to join. There were fanaticisms, none of which he had any part in. Kristol, who died on Friday, seemed to enter life with an intellectual demeanor that he once characterized as ‘detached attachment.’”

    To view the remainder of the article, click here.

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    22:20
    Post No. 136: We Try Harder »THE VIEW FROM OUTSIDE MY TINY WINDOW

    © 2009, the Institute for Applied Common Sense

    In what areas is the United States still No. 1? Was it ever? Or was this exalted status something we told ourselves to boost our sense of pride and accomplishment?

    In a previous post about the mark made by political thought giant Irving Kristol, columnist David Brooks wrote something which struck us:

    “He [Kristol] was unabashedly neoconservative. But he also stood apart, and directed his skeptical gaze even on his own positions, and even on the things to which he was most loyal… ‘There are no benefits without costs in human affairs,’ he once wrote. And so there is no idea so true and no movement so pure that it doesn’t require scrutiny. There was no position in this fallen world without flaws.”

    A question might be raised as to whether it would be a good thing for us, as a Nation, to acknowledge that others have surpassed us in certain areas, or are nipping at our heels. There’s lots of rhetoric these days about our “great nation” and how this is the most powerful nation in the history of humankind.

    But resting on one’s laurels has its problems, as does continuing to do things the same way, simply because they worked in the past, or through rigid adherence to a particular philosophy.

    The Father of one of our friends claims that golfer Tiger Woods can cruise now in his career, “since he has already made his money.” But whether it is Tiger Woods, or legendary basketball star Larry Bird, the existence of talent without continuing effort, and a desire to excel, yields few championship trophies.

    In order for the Road Runner to have existed all of these years, he had to outrun Wile E. Coyote everyday, and come up with new ways to “out-coyote” him.

    His survival is dependent upon his speed and agility.

    Yesterday, the 2009 National Book Festival, founded by former First Lady Laura Bush in 2001, commenced in Washington, D.C. That such a festival was only started recently might come as a surprise to many, but may reflect something about us.

    Many of us consider a good education and the ability to read as givens. Yet, the percentage of functionally illiterate citizens in America would probably shock most.

    At least those of us who can read.

    A friend of ours spent some time teaching courses at a community college. He often tells the story of a student who, while taking a math test, summoned him. He told her that he could not assist her.

    She noted that the issue was not a math issue, but a word issue. When he looked at the problem, she pointed to the word “suspension,” and said she did not know its meaning. Without knowing its meaning, it was impossible for her to perform the calculation necessary.

    In response to this revelation, our friend decided that even in his math classes, his students would learn 10 new words each day. After announcing his new policy to his night class and the reasons for the change, a student approached him after class, and said that he was one of the people about whom the instructor had spoken.

    When our friend inquired as to what the student meant, the student related an amazing story. He said that although he was not very proud of it, he got kicked out of high school one month before graduation, and did not learn to read prior to that time.

    Imagine an educational system where a student can be promoted for 12 years, and still not manage to read. And consider the fact that no one single factor, teacher, school, or system can be singled out for this travesty.

    One of our other friends has been in collegiate and professional athletics for years. He has always contended that he’d rather have a bunch of C grade players who hustled and gave their best, than a team of A grade players who didn’t.

    After listening to the introductory speakers during the opening ceremonies for National Book Festival, it occurred to us that we have a long way to go in getting the most out of our human resources, and that acknowledging that many of our current systems are perhaps not the best in the world, might be a good starting point.

    For some reason, this line of thinking made us re-visit one of the longest running marketing slogans around, that for Avis Rent a Car, the number two agency behind number one Hertz. “We try harder.”

    We did not know who started this campaign, but we had a suspicion, and looked it up. And yes, it turned out to be another Bill Bernbach masterpiece.

    Its beauty is in its simplicity.

    It’s neither un-American, nor un-patriotic to question our standing in the world, and investigate whether what we’ve been doing is really in the long-term, national, collective interest.

    Societal responsibility is not dramatically different from personal responsibility. A nation can’t complain about its standing in the world, if it hasn’t done all that it can do to excel, and use its human resources to the fullest extent possible. That includes equipping all of its citizens with competitive tools, and ensuring that they are ready for the fight.

    And that’s just plain Common Sense.

    [Full article]
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    Post No. 136a: Article of Interest from the New York Times: Where Did "We" Go ? »THE VIEW FROM OUTSIDE MY TINY WINDOW

    Many thought that when President Obama was elected he would become the "Great Unifier." Instead, we have witnessed the full panoply of factions which are dissatisfied with some aspect of his governance and policies thus far. Furthermore, they are not afraid to express their dissatisfaction in very personal, and colorful forms.

    Thomas Friedman has some concerns about what is taking place in our country, and expresses them in the following piece. He eloquently articulates something which we have felt for the past few months, but have had difficulty putting into words.


    September 30, 2009
    Op-Ed Columnist

    Where Did ‘We’ Go?<